


(meet me) under the mistletoe

by saltzpen



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: A little bit of angst, F/F, I was feeling festive and gay, Minor Hope/Josie, a lot of banter, and penelope being chaotic evil, lots of jealousy tropes, while josie makes bad life choices that maybe aren't so bad after all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-09-25 18:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 61,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17126681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltzpen/pseuds/saltzpen
Summary: Having just relapsed by kissing Penelope Park on her birthday, the absolute last thing Josie Saltzman needs is enchanted mistletoe to start showing up over school with a convenient excuse to kiss people she shouldn't. It's a shame, for her, that it is exactly what has happened.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a trend in Harry Potter fic years ago which was basically enchanted mistletoe and characters dealing with unfortunate situations due to it. I couldn't resist using the trope for Posie so here you go.

It’s the first day of December when two young werewolves walk together through the doors to the gymnasium for their early-morning workout. They both give pause in the doorway when two pretty rings of a bell sound out above them, a single piece of mistletoe sprouting from the doorframe over their heads. The werewolves pay little mind – laugh it off and leave without offering the kiss asked for by the mistletoe – and mere moments after stepping out from under the threshold, they’re rewarded in the form of shining red noses and antlers sprouting from their heads.

It doesn’t take long for news of the enchanted mistletoe to spread across Salvatore Boarding School. The rest of the Salvatore cohort quickly catch on – if you’re caught under the mistletoe, you either kiss someone or you spend the day looking like Rudolph. Whoever cast the spell at least considered the potential issues with their grand idea, because the mistletoe is yet to appear over the heads of any of the younger students. The same consideration, however, has not been extended to the teachers. Due to the uncomfortable predicament this leaves them in, teachers are often seen sporting a red nose and antlers.

Despite Alaric’s berating of Emma to find a way to rid the school of the prank, she’s yet to find a way to undo the spell without first finding out who cast it to begin with. Being hormone-ridden teenagers, of course, this hasn’t been too upsetting for most of the students. Well, for _most_.

Josie Saltzman, in particular, is not happy at all.

 “It’s a bit of harmless fun, Josie.” Lizzie says as they get ready the day after the mistletoe’s first appearance.

“Ordinary mistletoe would be harmless ‘fun’. _This_ is a gross prank that – really, is pretty questionable considering the element of consent.”

“You don’t _have_ to kiss anyone, though. You can just deal with the fallout and walk around looking dumb for the day.”

“Not any better.”

“Well, I think it’s great.” Lizzie stands up, shrugs, “I get to spend my Christmas finding cute boy to kiss under the mistletoe. When we find out who started all of this, I’ll kiss that person, too, for being such a genius.” She grins as she walks over to her twin, reaching to straighten the bow around Josie’s collar, “It’s Christmas, Josie. Get in the spirit.”

Josie pouts, watching her sister leave their room to head to breakfast. She figures it’s easy for _Lizzie_ to say, considering she doesn’t have an evil ex who has recently decided she wants to kiss her again.

Since their kiss on her birthday, Josie has avoided Penelope at just about all costs, filing the incident under ‘things I did while emotional about Mombie’ and shoving it to the back of her mind to never be thought of again.

(Except, she’s thought about it just about every night since).

It’s not that she didn’t enjoy it. Obviously – well, it’s Penelope Park. There’s not really a world where Josie _wouldn’t_ be completely dumbfounded by those lips on her own, no matter how evil the owner of them is.

But also… _it’s_ _Penelope Park._ The girl who basically taught her what love is and then broke her heart just for the fun of it all. Now she has the audacity to think she can just _kiss her_ on her birthday like she has any right whatsoever? Not okay.

Josie reimagines the moment a lot – pictures shoving Penelope away instead of pulling her back in.

_God, why did she pull her back in?_

She hasn’t told Lizzie, of course. Although considering Lizzie would probably murder Penelope if she found it, maybe Josie _should_ tell her. It would be an easy way to solve the problem.

Since the kiss, Penelope has shown up around Josie more than usual, if possible. If Josie didn’t know her ex so well, she might assume it’s all in her head. But she does know her – and Penelope is most _definitely_ hovering in an effort to taunt her.

As fate would have it, Josie is so busy fretting over the mistletoe plaguing the school as she makes her way to breakfast that morning, that she doesn’t notice herself setting up her own nightmare in the process. She walks under an archway near the dining room and hears that infuriating little bell ring out above her, and seconds later none other than Penelope Park is doing the same, freezing at the bell.

Penelope’s eyes widen for a moment when she realizes just who she’s been caught under the mistletoe with, but then that cool, smug exterior of hers returns, amusement swimming in those cat-like eyes as she glances to the mistletoe above.

“What do you know, Jojo? It’s your lucky day.”

Josie’s stomach simultaneously flutters and churns at the nickname, “You planned this.” She accuses.

Penelope’s laugh is infuriating, “Like I need a _plant_ to get someone to kiss me. You seemed more than willing the last time I tried.”

Josie huffs, looking around desperately for someone to approaching that she can catch and kiss instead. Of course, there’s no one approaching, and no one in the dining room who looks willing to get between them. It’s just her and Penelope. Penelope watching her with that smug expression that makes Josie want to –  

Penelope reaches for her and Josie immediately snaps back, “Maybe I don’t want to kiss you.”

Penelope looks like she honestly never considered that possibility – which only makes Josie hate her even more, “Fine.” She shrugs, “If you want to look like an idiot all day, be my guest. Although are you sure you’ll survive taking the spotlight off of Lizzie for a day?”

“Is it hard acting the bitch all the time?”

“Oh, honey, it’s just second nature at this point.”

There’s a beat.

Josie glares at Penelope while Penelope just smirks right back at her.

“I hate you.” She says – like she needs to remind herself of the fact. Like it will make what’s about to happen matter less.

Penelope’s expression is that of a girl who knows she’s gotten what she wants, “I know.”

And when Penelope reaches for her this time, Josie doesn’t move away.

(It’s the path of least resistance, okay?)

Penelope brings their lips together in a firm kiss, Josie presses back into it, and like on her birthday, it’s as though they never stopped doing this in the first place. Josie thinks this is what she hates most – how at home it feels with her lips against Penelope’s. How much she can still want this girl who has done nothing but chip away at every piece of her heart for the past year.

She feels Penelope’s stupid, smug smile against her lips and musters enough anger to push the girl away from her. She looks up, the mistletoe seemingly satisfied and disappearing for the meantime, and without another glance at Penelope, she storms off into the dining room.

Lizzie sits at their usual table, eyes blazing with fury as she watches Josie approach.

Josie wipes the remnants of Penelope’s lipstick from her mouth, hopes her cheeks aren’t as red as they feel, and plants herself down opposite Lizzie. “Still think the mistletoe is fun?” she hisses out.

Lizzie’s knuckles are white from the grip on her cutlery, “We have to find whoever did this and murder them.”

* * *

 

They don’t make much progress on the mission to solve the mistletoe dilemma. Lizzie is convinced it was Penelope’s doing – be it to mess with Josie or to just cause general chaos within the halls – but whether she’s right means little when Penelope would never admit to it either way.

Josie makes an attempt just in case, anyway. She waits for Penelope outside one of her classes, still having the girl’s schedule imprinted in her brain from a time where waiting for Penelope after class was a regular occurrence.

When Penelope appears out of the room, Josie practically jumps on her.

“Did you cast the mistletoe spell?” she asks.

Penelope pauses, clearly startled by the sudden appearance of her ex-girlfriend, and then she continues walking down the hall, “Class was great, Josie. Thanks for asking.”

Josie rolls her eyes, falling into step with Penelope, “Did you?”

“It _does_ sound like something I would do.” Penelope teases, feigning thought, “But, you know, this whole week has been a blur. I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast. Well, except for a very fruity kiss. What lip-gloss were you wearing?”

“I’m serious, Penelope. If you had something to do with it-”

“Are we ever going to talk about your birthday?”

Josie pauses at the question, “I… what?”

“You know. I helped save you from some zombies, I kissed you… you kissed me back. Now _that_ , I do remember.” Penelope says, “Has Lizzie disowned you for it, yet? Or have you not told her?”

Josie really needs to stop letting herself be hurt by the things that come out of Penelope’s mouth. She swallows the lump in her throat, “So you did it to annoy Lizzie.”

“Hard for you to believe, I know, but _not everything_ is about your sister.”

“Then why did you kiss me?”

“Because I knew _you_ wouldn’t make the first move.” Penelope drawls, looking bored with the conversation, “And frankly, I grew tired waiting for you to just take what you want for once.”

Josie doesn’t know what to say to that. She can’t really argue the fact that she had wanted it at the time, considering she kissed Penelope back. So instead she pushes on.

“Did you cast the mistletoe spell?” she asks.

There’s that smirk again, “I don’t know. Did I?” Penelope shrugs, “Either way, you have to admit, it’s quite convenient.”

Josie falls a step behind Penelope as they approach an archway, but Penelope purposefully comes to a stop beneath it, turning to look back at Josie with a less-than innocent expression.

There’s no bell yet, no mistletoe appearing above Penelope’s head. Of course, it’s really just a waiting game.

Penelope waits under the arch, watching Josie, “Well?”

Penelope doesn’t need to say anything for Josie to know what she’s offering. An invitation. To go for what she wants with the safety net of the excuse the mistletoe gives. Josie wonders if perhaps Penelope needs the excuse as much as she does.

Josie glances around, finds no one in the hall to witness them. She almost manages to walk away, but instead her feet take her under the arch with Penelope.

“Still hate me?” Penelope says, stepping closer.

Josie doesn’t know why she can’t just step out from under the arch – make the point to Penelope that she doesn’t have any power over her anymore, “Always.”

Penelope’s eyes pull away from Josie’s, up to the frame above them. Josie doesn’t allow herself to consider she might actually have the power to upset the girl opposite her; she knows that’s a rabbit hole she shouldn’t go down.

They stand there, quiet and close, waiting for the bell to ring.

It never comes.

Penelope just looks at her with a curious expression. Like she’s waiting for something from Josie – something that doesn’t happen. And then she smiles, soft and maybe a little sad.

“Maybe next time, Jojo.”

And she leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit late on publishing this but hopefully you're all still in the Christmas mood! I haven't stopped thinking about Posie so this happened. I have most of this written and it will probably be about 5 parts, I imagine, once I break it up. Other parts will be longer, this was just the only part it felt good to start it off on! Anyway, hope y'all are surviving the hiatus! I'm struggling.
> 
> If you need me I'll be on twitter as @saltzpen (literally just created) or tumblr @karolinarunaway


	2. Chapter 2

The first time Josie witnesses Penelope under the mistletoe with someone other than her, she spends the rest of her day at the old mill convincing herself that she’s completely unbothered by it.

The crushing weight she feels on her chest makes that a difficult task.

It’s not that she’s jealous; no one likes seeing their ex kissing another person, no matter how ‘over’ them they are. Josie hating Penelope and wanting to set her on fire again when she kisses someone else are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Trying to convince Lizzie of that, is another thing.

“Hope’s aunt is Davina Claire.” Josie is lying back on her bed, Lizzie reading over on her own. Today, Penelope’s kissing partner was one of the members of her adoring clique who, Josie is certain, has always had a bit of a thing for the evil overlord. Being subjected to _that_ kiss, was one of the worst thus far. “If there’s any witch who could get rid of the mistletoe without needing to know the original caster, it’d be her.”

Lizzie snorts – actually _snorts_ – at the idea, not even looking up from her book, “I really doubt _Davina Claire_ is going to travel here just to help with some dumb Christmas prank.”

“She might if Hope asks her.”

“Also, a thing that would never happen.”

“Well there has to be _something_ we can do.” Josie huffs, frustration showing, “I can’t watch You Know Who shove her tongue down another one of her followers’ throats.”

“I knew that was what this was about.” Lizzie shuts her book, full attention turning to Josie, “You’re supposed to be over her.”

“I am.”

“Then why do you care if she’s kissing someone else? Better them than you.”

Josie feels her cheeks grow hot, hates that her immediate thought to that statement is ‘ _I think the fuck not’_.

“I’m over her.” She repeats, “But she still hurt me, Lizzie. Having her kiss people in front of me like I’m not even a second thought to her _hurts_.”

Lizzie at least softens at that, despite the lingering disapproval on her features, “She’s not worth it, Jo. I told you – focus on someone else. You won’t be okay until you stop obsessing over her like this.”

“I don’t obsess over her.”

Lizzie rolls her eyes, “ _Okay_.”

“I don’t, Lizzie. I hate her.” Josie stresses, “She’s just – she’s _everywhere_. Usually when someone breaks your heart you don’t have to continue living down the hall from them and seeing their face every day.”

“You really hate her?” Lizzie says unsurely.

“I do.”

“So getting rid of the mistletoe isn’t just you being jealous?”

“It’s her latest toy, Lizzie. It’s just another opportunity for her to show she can hurt me – that she can do whatever she wants.” Josie says, “I just want to take that power away.”

Lizzie doesn’t look like she completely believes Josie, but she gives in anyway, sighing, “Okay, then.” She says, “Let’s take her toy away.”

* * *

Lizzie and Josie spend most afternoons attempting spells that might stop the mistletoe from appearing, but they’ve still made next to no progress – unless accidentally adding the feature of Christmas lights to the antlers can be considered ‘progress’.

Josie, at least, hasn’t found herself under the mistletoe with Penelope again. She supposes that’s a good thing, if she ignores the fact that she basically wished for it the other day. Actually, Josie hasn’t been stuck under the mistletoe with _anyone_ since her first incident with Penelope. Everything happens in time, though.  

Today, she’s walking down the corridor with Rafael at her side ranting about his latest pack drama. The bell chimes above their heads when they walk under an archway, and Raf looks like a deer caught in headlights when he spots the mistletoe hanging over them.

“You don’t have to.” He says immediately, “If you want to call someone else over – it’s okay. Or if you wanna just deal with the whole antlers thing… I won’t be mad.”

He’s sweet, Josie thinks. She’s seen the students who have denied the mistletoe’s demands; the idea of walking around with antlers and a red nose all day is not exactly appealing. And while kissing Raf wasn’t exactly in her plans today, she figures if it has to be anyone, he’s one of the better partners to be stuck under the mistletoe with. Of course, none of this is really what makes her grab him by the tie and pull his lips to her own. No, what makes Josie do _that_ , is the glimpse of Penelope turning down the corridor towards them.

Rafael lets out a little yelp of surprise when she kisses him, but only takes a moment to kiss her back. And if she puts a little more enthusiasm into it than is warranted? Well – fine, she’ll accept that it might be a little bit petty.

It’s worth it for the absolute fury on Penelope’s face when they separate.

* * *

Penelope keeps kissing everyone and anyone under the mistletoe, so Josie, having had no luck getting rid of the spell, decides to embrace the opportunity it gives her to annoy Penelope in return. The fourth time she and Raf are under the mistletoe, however, it doesn’t exactly go to plan. Josie walks with him through the school, possibly with the less than innocent intention of hearing that bell ring above them – totally not guiding them towards where she knows Penelope and MG are hanging out. And of course, the mistletoe appears like clockwork.

Raf doesn’t feign hesitance this time, goes straight in for the kiss.

But his lips never meet Josie’s. Instead she hears him grunt in pain, and a heavy ‘thump’ follows. She opens her eyes to find Raf sprawled on his ass a few feet from the door. A red nose is already appearing on his face courtesy of the mistletoe, antlers beginning to sprout from his head.

Penelope stands a few feet away with MG, leant against a desk, her hand still raised from whatever spell she cast to knock Rafael out of the doorway. “Oh _no_.” Penelope says, poorly feigning innocence, “I’m sorry, Teen Wolf. I didn’t see you there.”

Rafael’s face is almost as red as his new nose as he glares at Penelope, “You did that on purpose.”

Penelope waves her hand in the air dismissively, amused as ever, “Well… yeah.”

Somehow, Rafael manages to keep his temper under control, no doubt recognising his disadvantage against Penelope. Josie doesn’t hold it against him when he storms away, happy to avoid having to deal with the mess that would be left behind if he _did_ attempt to advance on her ex-girlfriend for revenge.

Josie remains stuck under the mistletoe, staring at Penelope in disbelief, “Real mature.”

MG looks wholly uncomfortable as he hovers behind Penelope, looking between the exes. Penelope, on the other hand, couldn’t appear happier with herself. “Need some help, Jojo?” she asks, nodding to where the mistletoe remains, demanding its payment.

“Sure.” Josie smiles tightly, looks to the boy behind Penelope, “MG?”

MG’s eyes widen when he realizes what’s being asked of him, “Oh- um…” he glances to Penelope, as though searching for permission, but she only continues to watch Josie. Luckily for MG, he weighs his choices and actually makes the right one this time, and with a quiet ‘sorry’ to Penelope he walks over to Josie.

Penelope stares at Josie, eyes narrowed and daring her to kiss MG. Considering their history, Josie should probably know better than to provoke Penelope. Her ex has always been the more skilled when it comes to retaliation. Despite that, Josie smiles smugly at her before leaning in to kiss MG in what might be the most awkward kiss that has ever occurred within the halls of the Salvatore house.

Still, the irritation Penelope wears clear as day afterwards makes it worth it.

* * *

What happens next, might be a case of reaping what you sow.

After enjoying the outright disgust on Penelope’s face when she kissed Raf and MG, Josie makes a little bit of a habit out of placing herself under an arch or doorway whenever she knows Penelope is near, kissing whatever student might be near and revelling in the rare time she actually gets to unsettle her ex-girlfriend for once, instead of the other way round.

Of course, Josie should have expected Penelope would have something up her sleeve in retaliation. She _did_ fall in love with the devil, after all.

From the beginning of the day, Josie notices people avoiding her in the halls, falling steps behind her or just coming to a complete stop when they notice her nearby. Josie’s right to suspect Penelope of some kind of foul play immediately.

At the end of her first class of the day, she is walking out of the classroom with MG and he does the exact same as everyone else, pausing behind Josie while she walks out of the door. That familiar bell chimes above her and you could hear a pin drop in the room as the mistletoe sprouts, the remaining students staring at her with anxious expressions.

No one approaches to meet her under the mistletoe.

“MG?” Josie prompts, looking to her friend impatiently, “A little help?”

MG remains where he is, looking guilty, “Sorry, Jo. I can’t.”

Josie lets out an awkward laugh, looks to the rest of her classmates, “Well we can’t all just hang out in this room all day, so…”

Still, no one makes a move.

Whatever is happening, Josie _knows_ she has a vengeful ex-girlfriend to blame for it. “What’s Penelope done?” she growls out.

“Nothing.”

“MG.”

“Okay, she might have, kinda… put the word out that anyone who kisses you will deal with worse consequences than the mistletoe.”

Josie might just kill Penelope.

“And you’re actually scared of her?” she struggles to maintain composure – losing it probably isn’t the most effective method for getting a kiss out of this situation.

“Uh, _yeah_. She’s Penelope Park.”

“You already kissed me in front of her!”

“Yeah, and I’m lucky I got away without having my fangs ripped out. I’m not testing her again.” He holds his hands up in defeat, “You _know_ she doesn’t make empty threats.”

“Oh my god.” Josie looks around the room, finding no hints of a person ready to risk Penelope’s wrath, “So what? You’re all just going to wait until I give up?”

“Probably.” One of her classmates responds.

Josie almost stomps her foot in frustration. She pleads with MG one more time to no avail, and after ten irritated minutes, growing impatient along with her pathetically intimidated classmates, she accepts defeat. Red clouds the bottom of her vision the moment she steps out from under the mistletoe, nose already glowing, and her steps stumble when the antlers sprout.  

Penelope Park is dead.

* * *

One of the few good things to come out of dating Penelope, is at least Josie knows her well enough to know exactly where to find her when yelling at the girl is required.

When she reaches the roof of the school, Josie’s relieved to find Penelope alone up there, knowing the usual nature of her ex-girlfriend’s activities when she’s smoking weed.

Penelope sits on the edge of the roof, eyes cast out to grounds of the school, taking a drag of the joint between her fingertips, smoke drifting out between her lips soon after. Josie doesn’t announce herself immediately – perhaps because this is one of those rare moments where she gets a glimpse of the Penelope she used to know. These days, Penelope is always surrounded by one band of followers or another. Seeing her like this, alone and quiet, relaxed – it makes that part of Josie that refuses to stop caring so much harder to ignore.

She takes a moment to remember why she’s here, clinging to her anger and moving forward.

“Did you threaten the entire school so that no one would kiss me?”

Penelope turns, a wicked smile tracing her lips when she sees the red nose and antlers now worn by Josie, “Looks like they listened.”

Josie gapes, “You’re unbelievable.”

“I know.” Penelope stands to properly face Josie, brings the joint to her lips, eyes tracing over her ex as she does so, “Actually,” she expels the smoke, chuckling, “You look kinda cute as Rudolph.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Josie storms over to Penelope, stopping right in front of her, “You can’t just control me like that!”

“Well now you’re confusing me with your sister.” Penelope says, “I’m not controlling you. I’m simply stopping bumbling werewolves from trying to shove their tongues down your throat.”

Josie catches the bitterness as she says that last bit. “So what? You get to go around making out with whoever you want but when I do, you make me a social pariah?”

“You could always even the playing field.” Penelope shrugs, takes one final pull from the joint before discarding it to the ground, crushing the ember with her heel, “If seeing me kissing other people upsets you so much.”

“That’s not-” Josie almost screams in frustration, “That’s not what I meant.”

“But it bothers you, doesn’t it? When I kiss other people.”

Josie _hates_ her.

How she can just spin circles around her without a care in the world – how she can toy with Josie like she’s never been anything but a source of childish amusement for her.

“It bothers you when _I_ do.” She counters stubbornly.

Penelope grins, “It does.” She agrees, no shame in the answer at all, “That’s why I did something about it.”

Josie glares at her, “Why do you even care what I do? _You_ broke up with _me_.”

“You have a really simplified version of events when it comes to our break up.”

“You broke up with me and then proceeded to torment me every day after-”

“Torment _Lizzie_.”

“We’re twins. You do it to one of us you do it to the other.”

“And you really don’t see anything wrong with that?”

Penelope has never liked Lizzie, even when she and Josie were together, Josie had spent half her time just balancing the pair between one another. And fine, Josie knows she has a habit of putting Lizzie before herself. She just doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal to Penelope.

“I’m not talking about this again.”

“Why?” Penelope steps forward, reaches to twist a strand of Josie’s hair around her finger. Her eyes purposefully glance to Josie’s lips, “It went so well the last time.”

Josie hates that even a small part of herself hopes Penelope will pull her into her, body trembling with anticipation that only Penelope seems to conjure from her. This time, she manages not to crumble.

“Whatever game you’re playing.” Josie bites out, “I won’t be a part of it.”

Penelope laughs, leans in so her lips ghost Josie’s.

They brush, ever so lightly that Josie almost misses it, her breath catching all the same. But Penelope’s lips fall short, a smug smile on them, “But Baby, you already are.”  

* * *

Josie will admit, shamefully, that in the brief moment of insanity where she didn’t really mind having an excuse to kiss Penelope Park again, she might have slacked off when it came to finding a way to rid the school of the mistletoe. She isn’t alone in this, at least; Lizzie seems to have been outright loving the chance to stumble into kisses with any boy she finds remotely attractive in the school.

The twins are reminded of their issues with the mistletoe when they’re leaving lunch one day. They don’t think to worry when they walk through the doors together, and when they hear the bell ring above them, they let out shared groans of exasperation.

“Oh, my _God_.” Lizzie looks up at mistletoe in disbelief, “Did the genius who came up with this stupid thing not consider _any_ contingencies?!”

Josie doesn’t even bother attempting to find someone to pull over, with Penelope’s threat still reigning over the cohort. It’s only a few moments before a familiar laugh sounds next to them, Penelope leaning against the wall and watching the pair happily.

“Can I be of service?”

Josie looks to Lizzie, feeling betrayed when she sees actual consideration on her sister’s face, “ _No_. Lizzie, _no_.”

“What? _I’m_ not kissing you. And I’m definitely not kissing _her.”_

“Only slightly worrying that you made it seem like I was the worst choice there.” Penelope points out.

“Shut up, She-Devil.” Lizzie snaps, then looks around the hall, “MG!”

If Josie weren’t preoccupied with plotting the death of a very amused ex-girlfriend, she might feel happy for MG, when he bounds up to them looking like a kid on Christmas morning. She glares at Penelope while Lizzie receives her kiss from MG (a kiss that she notices lasts a bit longer than necessary). Lizzie looks slightly dumbfounded when they separate, while MG wears what might be the largest smile in the world.

“Sorry, Jo.” Lizzie says when she’s gathered herself, guiltily stepping out from beneath the mistletoe.

Penelope smiles, looks to Josie with a quirked brow, “So, Jojo. What will it be?”

“How about Option Number 3?”

Penelope’s eyes widen along with Josie’s, and Josie turns to find Hope standing there, wearing an impatient expression.

“Well?” Hope says, “I’d like to leave the dining hall at some point so if this is what gets you out of the doorway…”

Josie, stunned, looks back to Penelope, whose head appears ready to explode with rage.

That’s all she needs to make her decision.

“Okay.” She shrugs, pointedly ignoring Penelope now.

She doesn’t know why the thought didn’t occur before – Hope is the only person who would have absolutely no worries about a threat made by Penelope. One of the few who could probably give it back to Penelope just as harsh if she did attempt to punish her for kissing Josie.

To be fair, she never would have thought Hope would be up for it.

But here Hope is, stepping under the mistletoe with her, hands reaching for the back of Josie’s neck, and pulling her into a kiss.

And if she’s being honest – even without the convenient fallout of a bloodthirsty Penelope opposite them – it’s not a bad kiss at all.

* * *

After Hope’s generous gesture of helping Josie avoid the ultimatum of a bad makeover or kissing her ex, Josie somehow manages to employ the girl as her on-call kissing partner until this whole mistletoe ordeal is over. It doesn’t actually take much convincing at all. Josie thinks Hope gets a kick out of kissing the daughter of her mentor, but she’s yet to call her out on the fact.

It’s a convenient arrangement for the both of them, in retrospect. Being the elusive tribrid, Hope has had dealt with her fair share of eager strangers attempting to catch her under the mistletoe. This way, they both get to avoid unwanted situations.

Of course, it’s not just Penelope who has a problem with the development.

“You’re making out with _Hope Mikaelson_ now?!” Lizzie exclaims as she storms into their bedroom, “Josie!”

Josie looks up from the book in her lap, watching as Lizzie dramatically comes to a stop at the end of her bed, hands on her hips.

“It’s not that big a deal.” Josie sighs, “She’s the only person who _isn’t_ terrified of Penelope, so it’s not like I’m really swamped with choices.”

“You can’t just deal with a red nose and antlers for a while?”

Josie sends Lizzie a withering look, “Sure, Lizzie. Because you would do that if you were in my shoes.” She bites out sarcastically.

“I just don’t get how you can kiss her.”

“Well you’re not into girls, so, that’s understandable.”

“I’m serious, Josie-”

“So am I.” Josie snaps, “It’s _my_ situation to deal with and I’ll deal with it the way I want.”

Lizzie looks at her like she’s grown two heads, “What is going on with you? Is this about bio-mom?”

“Why would this have anything to do with her?”

“Well you’ve been acting weird since our birthday so what else could it about?”

Josie frowns, feeling slightly guilty. She never did tell Lizzie about her and Penelope’s kiss that night. She knows if she does so now, Lizzie will make it into something it wasn’t supposed to be. Make it into a betrayal.

Maybe it was a betrayal.

She closes the book in her lap, looking to Lizzie – her twin, filled with so much anger over something that _should_ just be Josie’s. She wonders if Penelope’s kind of right – if in her love for Lizzie, she’s let herself be stifled  

“I do everything for you, Lizzie.” She says, “Can you please just… trust me to make my own choices? I know what I’m doing.”

Lizzie is clearly reluctant, clearly having more to say about the situation, “I just don’t get it.”

“Maybe you don’t have to.”

Her sister seems to struggle with the idea, but to Josie’s relief, Lizzie relents, “At least it’s not You Know Who.”

Of course, it’s only a matter of time before it _is_ You Know Who.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left comments last chap! Hope y'all had a good Christmas/Tuesday if you don't celebrate. Next update should be in a couple of days!
> 
> In the mean time, let me know what you thought, and I'm over at @saltzpen on twitter if you need me/just wanna scream about posie with me :)


	3. Chapter 3

In light of their mistletoe arrangement, most of Josie’s time is spent with Hope, meaning  Lizzie has barely been around at all, given their mutual dislike of one another. While keeping Hope’s company has a lot to do with her being Josie’s safeguard against the mistletoe at the moment, it’s actually been kind of nice, forming a friendship independent of Lizzie. When you have a twin, so much of your life is shared. Penelope had been the first time Josie had ever had something truly her own – something she hadn’t known she’d really desired, until it happened. Spending time with Hope, now, reminds her of that time.

They make good friends. It’s sad, really, how close they could have already been if they’d made an effort when they were younger. But Hope had been impenetrable and Lizzie unsympathetic, and Josie had picked her sister. Speaking of, Lizzie has been working even harder on trying to find a way to stop the mistletoe spell. She says she’s doing it for Josie, but Josie has an inkling that the increase in motivation is more due to the budding friendship between her and Hope than anything.

Currently, she and Hope are sitting together in the library. Hope is reading some book on the history of witches that she inherited from her father, and she passes it over to Josie whenever she reads something she might find of interest. Josie never thought of how similar Hope’s disconnect to her magic is to her and Lizzie’s. Where most other witches at the school belong to covens, Lizzie and Josie’s died out before they were even born; for Hope, her only living familial connection is her aunt. It’s funny how much of their life, then, has been spent thinking they’re so different.

“There’s a party this Friday at the old mill.” Josie is sitting in the armchair next to Hope, legs tucked beneath her and pretending to care about the homework in her lap.

“So I should be avoiding the old mill on Friday.” Hope says, turning a page in her book, “Thanks for the tip.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “ _No_.” she reaches over, shoving at Hope lightly, “I was telling you because I thought maybe you’d like to go together.”

Hope regards Josie over her book, eyes narrowing, “I know Lizzie considers me the lesser of two evils when it comes to Penelope, but is she really okay with you spending all this time with me?”

“Lizzie doesn’t control who I’m friends with.”

Hope laughs, “Good joke.”

“Come on. Don’t you want to just have some fun for once?”

“I have fun.”

“Hunting down random creatures with my dad isn’t ‘fun’.”

“Some might say the same about trying to make your ex jealous all the time.” Hope smiles at Josie, “But you seem to be enjoying it.” 

Josie gapes at her, “I’m not doing it to make her jealous. I’m just dealing with the situation _she_ created for me by threatening the rest of the school to not kiss me.” Josie says, knowing she sounds too defensive.

“Except nearly every time we’ve ended up under the mistletoe, Penelope has just _happened_ to be nearby.”

Josie pauses – has she really been that obvious? “Okay, so what?” she shrugs, “Penelope has done the exact same thing to me since before this mistletoe thing. She even kissed MG at one point, just to upset me.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t really questioning _Penelope’s_ motives, was I?” Hope points out, “Look, I don’t mind you using me to annoy Penelope. Just admit that’s what’s happening.”

Before Josie can respond, she hears a familiar laugh fill the space. Her eyes immediately seek out the source, finding Penelope walking into the library with two of her followers at her sides, books tucked under her arm. It only takes a moment for Penelope’s gaze to find Josie’s. Even now, Josie feels a sliver of guilt when Penelope’s eyes go to Hope, that same irritated expression she’s been wearing all week returning.

“Speak of the devil.” Hope murmurs out next to her.

Josie forces her eyes from Penelope, back to the homework in her lap, “Just ignore her.”

“Mmhmm.” Hope’s hand reaches over, resting on Josie’s thigh as she continues to read from her book.

“What’re you doing?” Josie mutters, staring at Hope’s hand.

“Just go with it.”

Josie can feel Penelope’s eyes on them as she and her friends enter the space. She doesn’t move to take Hope’s hand off of her, because yeah, maybe Hope was right about the jealousy thing. Josie pretends not to notice Penelope taking residence at the desk nearest to her and Hope, only glancing up to her ex once she makes herself known.

“Well isn’t this adorable.” Despite Penelope’s smile, Josie feels like Hope’s hand might be seconds away from going up in flames under Penelope’s stare. “Congratulations on adding to your collection of Saltzman admirers, Hope.”

Hope looks up, smiling politely at Penelope. Josie’s always found their relationship fascinating. Not quite friends, not quite enemies, so much potential for either option. Penelope prods her with insults here and there, and Hope gives it back – but it’s almost like they enjoy the banter. If Hope weren’t so dedicated to keeping everyone at an arm’s length, Josie thinks they might be friends.

“You sound a little upset, Penelope.” Hope says, sugary sweet, “Is everything okay?”

“Couldn’t be better. I just wanted to let you know, if this thing is really happening, there’s no hard feelings from me. I mean, I’ve been there, so, I get it.” Penelope looks to Josie, “Although I am surprised by you, Josie. I wouldn’t have thought Hope would be on Lizzie’s list of approved people for you to date.”

“Because it was _Lizzie_ who made sure no one else in the school would kiss me.” Josie retorts, unable to stop herself from biting.

“Call it a favor.” Penelope shrugs, “Your choice in kissing partners was questionable at best.”

“Well I did date you, so I guess that’s to be expected.”

Hope stifles a laugh next to her and Penelope’s eyes widen slightly, jaw clenching with irritation. Josie thinks she just found the sweet spot.

There’s a tense moment of silence between them, Josie glaring right back at Penelope, the friends at Penelope’s side awkwardly looking between the pair, likely waiting for the inevitable burst of flames to appear on someone’s body.

But Penelope just laughs – hollow, cold, “And yet I broke your heart all the same, didn’t I?”

It hurts. A lot. Josie almost thinks she sees a glimpse of guilt on Penelope’s face, but she reminds herself who she’s dealing with. She’s not responsible for what she does next.

“I think I got over it just fine.” Josie bites out, turns for Hope, hand finding the back of her friend’s neck. She sees Hope’s eyes widen just before she pulls her in for the kiss, but it’s only a beat before Hope is going along with it, lips pressing back against hers. Admittedly, Josie makes a bigger display than necessary. But if she can hurt Penelope even a measure to match what she does to her, Josie is going to do it.

It must work, because when they separate and Josie looks over to Penelope’s desk, her ex is no longer there.

Hope’s face is flushed, and she takes a moment, eventually turning to Josie with an exasperated look, “So, tell me again how none of this is about making her jealous?”

Josie doesn’t really have an answer.

* * *

At the old mill party on Friday, the effect that the mistletoe has had on many of the cohort is on full display. Wherever Josie looks, there is one odd couple or another that no doubt had their first interactions in the form of a kiss demanded by the spelled mistletoe. It would be cute, if it hadn’t come at the cost of Josie’s sanity.

After having no luck convincing Hope to come tonight, Josie had planned to miss it as well, happy to stay in her room and recuperate from what has been a particularly more dramatic time than usual given all of the kissing of people she never intended to kiss. But Lizzie had begged, promising not to leave her side, and Josie eventually relented purely on the thought that if she really did spend the night alone, she’d likely spend it plagued with thoughts about her ex and her ever-confusing mix of feelings concerning Penelope Park. At least at the party she can distract herself.

Penelope is, of course, in attendance at the party. Josie spots her amongst the crowd within moments of arriving – an old habit she’s never quite been able to shake. Like usual, Penelope is surrounded by an adoring clique that apparently aren’t aware she’s the devil incarnate. What’s different tonight is MG’s addition to Penelope’s group of followers.

Josie is with Lizzie, attempting to focus on watching Raf win some drinking game. Her eyes constantly drift over to Penelope and MG, watching the pair talk. They both look over to Josie and Lizzie at one point, Penelope’s eyes snapping to Josie’s like magnets and catching her out. Josie holds her stare, attempting nonchalance and taking a sip of her drink before forcing her eyes back to Raf and his pack. She never feels Penelope’s eyes leave her.

“MG looks kinda cute tonight.” Lizzie comments, her own attention completely off of Rafael.

Josie thinks she must have misheard at first, but finds confirmation in her sister’s stare, which is trained directly on where MG still stands with Penelope. “… come again?”

Lizzie shrugs, like what she just said isn’t completely out of left-field. Like Josie hasn’t watched her sister be completely oblivious to MG’s general existence for the entire time they’ve known him. “You know. In an MG kind of way.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Well, I mean…” Lizzie makes an aimless gesture, clearly confused herself, “He’s not the worst kisser, you know.”

Josie laughs. Clearly they experienced very different kisses with MG.

“I don’t know why he has to keep hanging out with You Know Who, though.” Lizzie continues, “You’d think he’d know better by now.”

“I think they’re actually friends.”

“Penelope Park doesn’t have friends, she has victims.” Lizzie’s face scrunches up in annoyance, “God, why is she always staring at you?”

Josie looks back over to Penelope, who is indeed still looking their way. She arches a brow when she meets Josie’s gaze, a small smile on her lips. Josie sighs, looking back to her sister, “Because she knows it annoys you.”

“It doesn’t annoy _you_?”

Josie doesn’t really know how to answer that. A part of her thinks if Penelope ever stops looking for her in a crowded room, she’ll miss it. “I’m just used to it.”

“You know, the whole Hope thing has pissed her off majorly.” Lizzie sounds positively thrilled, “She’s been stomping around school all week looking like someone destroyed one of her Horcruxes. I didn’t even know she was capable of that much emotion.”

Josie hates that she feels guilty talking about this. Penelope has done enough to reason Josie hating her. Yet there’s still that pull in her gut telling her to defend Penelope against Lizzie. That part of her that can’t stand hearing her sister talk about Penelope with such disdain.

“What happened to your crush on Raf?” Josie says, deciding to change the topic.

Lizzie looks alarmed for a moment before she realizes Rafael is much too focused on his game with his pack to hear her and Josie, “Nothing, really. He’s still cute.” She shrugs, looks back over to MG, “Maybe I’m just… curious to try something different.”

“So you’re really into MG?”

“No.” Lizzie frowns, “I mean, maybe? I don’t know. He just seems… different.” She sighs, looking to the empty cup in her hand, “Maybe I should bring him a drink.”

“He really likes you, Lizzie.” Josie warns.

“And?”

Josie rolls her eyes, “I’m just saying… maybe try not to lead him on.”

“I’m gonna take him a drink.” Lizzie grins, ignoring Josie’s comment, “Be right back?”

Josie stares at her sister in disbelief, but gives up on her point, allowing Lizzie to walk off in the direction of the drinks table. She doesn’t bother reminding her that their night was supposed to be spent together. When she looks over to where Penelope had been, she’s no longer there with MG. Josie reminds herself that her stomach shouldn’t dip the way it does.

As she suspected, Lizzie doesn’t return anytime soon. Josie’s surprised when a drink does finally appear in front of her face. “Took your time.” She accepts the drink held out to her, turning to face her sister; her smile disappears when she finds Penelope at her side instead.

“You looked thirsty.” Penelope says, rolling her eyes when Josie looks down at the liquid suspiciously, “Relax, Princess. It’s just a drink.”

Josie eyes her, taking a sip. Of course, Penelope’s remembered her favorite drink. “Don’t you have someone else to make miserable tonight?”

“Actually, I’m working more in the realm of charity these days.” Penelope smiles sweetly, steps uncomfortably close to Josie, and nods over to where MG and Lizzie are sitting under a tree together, “You can thank my talents as MG’s wing woman, for that.”

“And what exactly did you do?”

“Please. Do you really think MG could have played it this cool without some coaching?”

“Either way, I don’t think it qualifies as charity if you have an ulterior motive.”

“I guess you _would_ know about charity.” Penelope shrugs, and her smile sobers into something more menacing, “I can only assume that’s why you’ve been making out with Hope Mikaelson all week.”

Josie can’t help but feel a little bit satisfied seeing Penelope visibly unsettled by something she’s done, “No charity work. She’s actually a great kisser.” She says, revelling in the moment, “I should thank you for setting it up, in a way, huh?”

As much as she appears to be keeping her composure, the fury in Penelope’s eyes gives her away, “So, what? It’s an actual thing?”

“Are you asking if I’m dating her?”

Penelope stares at her pointedly, too stubborn to actually ask the question, of course.

Josie laughs, unsure how she dated someone as hard-headed as the girl in front of her, “Actually, you know what? I’m not doing this with you.”

“Doing what?”

“Whatever this stupid back-and-forth, incessant obsession with my life is. I’m over it.”

“I’m just curious to see how far you’ll fall.”

 _God_ , Penelope makes it impossible to just be the mature person – poking and prodding her at every corner. How are you supposed to just ignore it when the first girl you loved is determined to make it seem like everything between you was a game?  

“Because dating _Hope Mikaelson_ would be a downgrade.” Josie snaps, “It’s not like she’s the most powerful witch of our time or anything.” 

Josie knows she’s hit her mark – Penelope’s smug expression falling into a scowl.

“Oh, sure. I bet the loner tribrid is a _real_ winner in the dating department, Jojo.”

“Well I can’t really do any worse.” Josie hates her nature – because when she sees the trace of hurt that flickers across Penelope’s features, she immediately wants to take it back.

“Right.” Penelope lets out a soft, empty laugh, “Because I’ve never given a shit about you, have I? It’s not like I spent our whole relationship trying to get you to realize you’re more than your sister’s keeper.”

“And since then it’s like your only goal has been to make me miserable.” Josie counters.

There’s an anger behind Penelope right now that Josie hasn’t seen in a long time. Uninhibited, none of the usual calculated snark that she’s come to expect from her. “God, how are you so clueless?” she seethes, “All I _do_ is try to look out for you, Josie. You’re the one that refuses to do anything that might make you happy. Trust me, I haven’t been playing cupid with MG and Lizzie because I think your sister deserves him. It’s because I figured _maybe_ if Lizzie had someone else to go to, she wouldn’t put all of her baggage on you for a change.”

“Except I don’t need you to protect me from Lizzie.”

“She stifles you.”

“She’s my _twin_. She loves me.”

“Yet she’s more than happy to let you spend every second of your life catering to her.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“She’s selfish.”

“So are you.” Josie counters, “ _You’re_ cruel. You’re egotistical. You just do and say whatever you want-”

“None of that ever came at the cost of you being who you are, though.” Penelope says, “And as cruel, or selfish or bad I was, you _loved_ it about me, Josie. Because when you were with me you got to be everything that you’d never let yourself be when you were busy taking care of everyone else.”

Josie doesn’t know what to say to her – can’t really deny it. When she’d been with Penelope, there had been a certain freedom that had been foreign to her before. Penelope had always been a risk, always been something that could completely ruin her – something that almost did. But with that risk had come knowing herself in a way she’d never given herself a chance to before.

“And you miss it, don’t you?” Penelope surprises Josie when she steps even closer, hand reaching to tuck Josie’s hair behind her ear, fingers lingering to brush delicately across her jaw. Josie’s skin hums at the contact, her stomach stirs at Penelope’s soft voice. “I might be the one to cast the bait, Josie; but you’re the one who always bites. Even when you hate me, you need me.”

Josie hates how Penelope’s touch can still render her so hopeless. How even now, she wants to pull her into her, despite all the pain she’s suffered at Penelope’s hand. How she couldn’t step away from Penelope even if she tried.

“So tell me, Jojo. How much longer are you going to make yourself small just to keep Lizzie’s perfect little world in tact?” Penelope coos, “Because I’ve seen that other side of you, and you can only hide from it for so long.”

How Penelope manages to get under her skin so easily, Josie will never understand. The only thing that gets her to step away now, is the smile that Penelope’s mouth pulls into when she catches Josie’s eyes lingering on her lips – so smug, like she knows everything that’s running through Josie’s mind. Knows her better than she knows herself.

What’s most infuriating is Josie’s not so sure it’s far from the truth.

She pulls back from Penelope as though she’s been struck, managing to compose herself and train a glare on her ex, “You gave up the right to care about how I live my life, remember?” She says, “So just focus on yourself, Penelope. It shouldn’t be that hard for you.”

* * *

Lizzie never reappears after disappearing with MG, despite her promise to stay at Josie’s side for the night. Usually, Josie would shrug such an event off. But this time Penelope’s words echo through her mind, reminding her that once again, she’s bowed to Lizzie’s will without a second thought.

It’s not just Lizzie’s fault, that things are this way. For all of the attention her sister demands, Josie provides it willingly. But what happens if Lizzie does find something in MG? Or another person? What happens when she stops needing Josie? Perhaps Penelope’s not so off-base, in saying Josie has left no room for herself. She’s not sure what she’d have if she didn’t have the responsibility of Lizzie to shoulder.

The more she drinks, the more her encounter with Penelope grates on her. The more Penelope in general refuses to leave her mind. She leaves the party early mostly in fear of what might happen if she hangs around; but when she gets back to the dorms, she doesn’t go to her and Lizzie’s room.

When the door Josie arrives at instead opens, Hope looks visibly confused at Josie’s appearance, “Uh… hi?” she frowns as she steps aside for Josie anyway, “I thought there was a party tonight?”

“There is.” Josie says, walking into Hope’s room. She pauses for a moment, realizing this is the first time in years that she’s been in the space. There isn’t much to it. No posters or decorations, or little tells that might give way to an understanding of who it is that sleeps in the room. Photos of her family are really the only suggestion that the space belongs to anyone in particular. Hope’s never shown much interest in anything other than her training, so it shouldn’t stun Josie – the girl is so weighed under her family tree that it’s like she’s left nothing for her own story. It unsettles Josie when she finds a part of herself able to relate.

“If you’re trying to get me to come along, you really don’t know me at all.” Hope says, drawing Josie’s attention back to her. She sits on her bed, watching Josie curiously.

Josie smiles half-heartedly, resting back against Hope’s desk as she turns to her, “No. I was there, I just… had a fight with Penelope and needed to get away.”

“Where’s Lizzie?”

Josie’s startled by how much the question irritates her; is it really that rare for her to operate without Lizzie?

“I can’t talk to her about Penelope.” Josie says, “They hate each other, and you know what Lizzie’s like. She’d just…”

“Make it about herself?”

“No.” Josie says stiffly, “She just doesn’t really want to hear me talk about my relationship with Penelope Park. Which I think is understandable, considering how they are with one another.”

Hope’s amused expression is reminiscent of Penelope, and Josie is beginning to wonder why she thought coming _here_ was a good idea.

“Relationship, huh?” Hope says, “I thought that was over.”

Oh. Josie’s cheeks redden, “It is.”

“Sounds like it.” Hope’s words drip with sarcasm, “So what’s the Penelope problem of the day?”

Josie sighs, “She’s obsessed with this idea that it’s somehow unhealthy that I care about my sister. Like it’s any of her business anymore.”

Hope makes a face that Josie can’t really decipher as anything but bad. The awkward silence that follows doesn’t help much either.

“What?” Josie’s unsure she even wants to know.

“Well… okay, don’t be mad at me for saying this, but…” Hope shrugs, “You _do_ kind of have a co-dependency issue with Lizzie.”

Yeah. Josie didn’t want to hear that.

Josie scoffs, attempting to brush it off, “What, you fight zombies with Penelope once and now you guys share opinions on me?”

Hope laughs, “We fought zombies to save _your_ ass, so watch your mouth.” She says, “And no, I haven’t spoken to her about you. I’m just _saying_ , she’s not completely off-base.” Hope catches Josie’s disbelieving expression, “I mean – okay think about this. We’re friends now, right?”

“Yeah.”

“But we didn’t used to be. Even though we’ve lived under the same roof for most of our lives. I know I played my part in that, but… you’ve always had Lizzie as your first priority.” Hope shrugs, “You never left much room for anyone else.”

“Okay, fine. _Maybe_ I spend a lot of time with Lizzie. But that’s because she’s my sister and I like being around her. Penelope makes it sound like it’s some toxic thing that’s holding me back.” 

“She cares about you.” Hope shrugs, “And from what I know of Penelope Park, she’s not the type to take a backseat when it comes to things she cares about.”

“You know, when I came here, it wasn’t to hear you side with my ex.”

Hope laughs, “Sorry. I’m not used to the ‘friend’ role yet.” she says, “Isn’t this all just the usual thing with Penelope, though? Everyone knows how she feels about Lizzie. Why’s it getting to you so much _now_?” 

“I don’t know. You’re right-” Josie pauses, frowning, “It’s just… she makes it sound like who I am is a lie. Like I can’t just care for people – like there _has_ to be some corrupt side of me that wants to act out.”

Hope lets out a worryingly amused laugh, “You mean like the part of you that set her on fire? Or practiced black magic with me with – let’s be honest – barely any actual persuasion needed on my part?” Hope grins, “You’re not exactly the model of morality that you let on, Josie.”

“That’s… different.”

Hope watches her, eyes narrowed slightly. Josie makes a note not to go to Hope the next time she just wants to vent about Penelope without an accompanying therapy session.

“Are you still in love with her?” Hope asks eventually.

Josie’s heart jumps, “That’s a loaded question.”

“It’s not really, though, is it?”

“You’re really bad at the friend thing.”

“Runs in the family, sorry. You also didn’t answer my question.”

Josie wonders if she can just call ‘take-backs’ and they can pretend this conversation never happened. Actually, Hope might be one of the few people who would go along with that.

“Okay, let’s try a different question.” Hope says when Josie remains silent, “What do you even want out of all of this? Or do you plan on just going in circles with Penelope bickering for the rest of your lives?”

Josie frowns, “I don’t think I have much choice in the matter when she’s the one always showing up to mess with me.”

“But she wouldn’t do that if she knew she couldn’t get a reaction from you.” Hope shrugs, “So, where does it end?”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

Hope looks at her like she’s looking at a lost puppy, “Well, think about it now.” She says, “You guys broke up over a year ago, Josie. There has to be a point where you either move on or you accept that maybe things aren’t finished with you guys. You want my opinion? Something tells me if you _really_ wanted her out of your life, you’d be taking solving the mistletoe situation a lot more serious.”

“Well, what do you think I should do?”

Hope laughs, “Your whole problem is that you let other people dictate your life. Maybe for once you just need to do what you want and see what happens.”

* * *

What does Josie want? Well, she’s still not entirely sure. But she does end up down in the kitchen of the main building, where a certain infuriating ex-girlfriend can often be found after a party.

As expected, Penelope is resting back against a counter, snacking from a bowl of popcorn when Josie walks into the kitchen. Her brow arches in question, “Ready for round two already?”

“I wasn’t looking for you.” Josie lies, if not just to try convincing herself.

“Of course not.”

“Where’s Lizzie?”

“Where do you think? You’re not the only one enjoying the opportunities the mistletoe has provided.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “I guess your latest act of charity is allowing someone else to kiss MG for the night?”

“You really never let anything go, do you?” Penelope drawls, “If we’re being reasonable, you _had_ spent that party flirting with the latest wolf pup. I had to get your attention somehow.”

“You were trying to hurt me.”

“Now why would it hurt you, if you’re over me?” Penelope wears a smirk, “So, why are you really here?”

“I was looking for Lizzie.”

“If you were looking for Lizzie, you wouldn’t have come to the one place you know to find _me_ after a party.”

Josie shrugs, lingering at the entrance to the kitchen and watching Penelope as she tosses a piece of popcorn in her mouth. Still unsure why she’s even here. “I’m all she has.”

The amusement on Penelope’s face fades, and Josie knows she has her attention this time. She doesn’t know why she feels the need to say it to Penelope, why she should have to justify her relationship with Lizzie to her.

“Our coven is dead, our mom has barely been around for the last two years. Our dad, he tries but… he runs a whole school that is overflowing with kids who need his help. I know you don’t get it, but I’m the only one who Lizzie can actually trust to be there for her. The least I can do is not let her down like everyone else.”

“Those are your experiences, too, Josie. Why does Lizzie get dibs on the emotional baggage?”

“Because she needs more than I do.”    

“And you think it’s your job to fulfil that for her?”

“Is it so bad that I don’t want to see my sister get hurt?”

“It is when it means you don’t look after yourself.” There’s so much worry in Penelope’s eyes that Josie wonders where it’s been all this time – if it’s always been there and she just didn’t want to see it.

“I don’t need things the way Lizzie does.” Josie can hear how weak her argument sounds.

“But you want things.”

Josie can barely breathe under Penelope’s stare. Part of her begs to flee, but she remains frozen in place.

“I mean, why else would you be down here right now? Hanging out under that doorway when you know exactly what could happen if you stay there.” Penelope shrugs, “Because obviously, you can’t just kiss me because you _want to_ , now, can you? The world would just come crumbling down if you acted on your own desires for once.”

“What makes you think I want to kiss you?”

Penelope’s smile tells tales of nights similar to this, from before everything broke down between them. Nights spent arguing about Lizzie, Penelope looking at her with so much worry, so much anger and sadness and disappointment that Josie could barely even meet her eyes – too scared to face how her love felt so different to Lizzie’s or even her father’s. How being loved by Penelope Park never came with exceptions.

“ _Do_ you want to kiss me?” Penelope asks.

Josie doesn’t answer.

Penelope laughs, “It doesn’t matter, I guess.” She shrugs, sitting up on the counter, “Even if that mistletoe does show up, I won’t be kissing you under it.” she looks at Josie as if in challenge, “If you want something right now, Josie. You’re just going to have to have the guts to take it yourself.”

Josie stands there in the doorway, that pull to Penelope that has never quite left her feeling stronger than ever. She expects Penelope to make some kind of move, but she doesn’t. She simply sits there on the counter, watching Josie, waiting.

Josie could list off a million reasons why she shouldn’t be here, why it’s such a bad idea to even entertain the idea of walking over to Penelope right now. Her body doesn’t seem to want to listen, as she feels that infuriating pull towards Penelope despite every bit of history between them that makes it such a stupid thing to do.  

But maybe Hope’s right. She can’t just keep feeling like this all the time. Maybe, for now, she needs to be selfish. Maybe it’s the only thing that will get her out of this cycle she and Penelope seem to be stuck in.

Walking over to Penelope feels maddeningly like walking home.

She stops at the counter, in front of Penelope, and steps between her opened legs. Penelope looks like she doesn’t really believe what’s happening.

“Josie?” Penelope breathes out her name between them like a prayer.

This might be where, if Josie were smart, she’d step away.

Instead, it’s where she leans in to kiss her.

Penelope’s breath hitches when their lips meet but she kisses Josie back like it’s the only thing in the world she was born to do.

(Josie thinks it might be)

Her hands grip at Penelope’s thighs and Penelope’s hands delve into Josie’s hair, pulling her as close as possible, tongue dipping into Josie’s mouth. And okay, Josie missed this.

She tastes like vodka and popcorn, smells like the perfume she carries to mask the scent of weed that lingers on her. It’s like so many other nights spent in this same kitchen, only instead of the light and lazy kisses of their past, now it’s like they’re both trying to burn the memory of the other’s lips into their brains.

Josie feels Penelope’s hands moving beneath her shirt, shivers as soft fingers brush against her bare skin.

Penelope pulls back for only a moment, dark eyes catching Josie’s, “Come back to my room?”

Josie pauses, breaths heavy as the request sits between them. She knows it’s a reckless idea – it’s one thing kissing Penelope, it’s another to fall into bed with her. To wake up to those soft hazel eyes and that lazy smile.  

But she wants it.

And in this moment, consequences be damned, she decides she’s going to get what she wants.

Of course, that’s before she hears the gasp behind her. Before she forces herself back from Penelope.

Before she turns and finds Lizzie standing at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, guys! It was either that or cut this chapter into two bc it was getting so big, so I figured it was the lesser of two evils. Thanks for the comments last chapter! Let me know what you thought of this one and in the mean time, you can scream at me on @saltzpen on twitter if you want.


	4. Chapter 4

“You can’t be serious.” Lizzie stands there, looking between Josie and Penelope; at their flushed faces and bruised lips, at the irritated expression on Penelope’s face and the panicked one on Josie’s. For a moment, it’s just Lizzie and her betrayed stare, brimming with the wrath that Josie has spent much of her life helping to contain.

She feels Penelope push her forward lightly, out from between her legs so she can drop down from the counter. Her hand finds the small of Josie’s back and Josie immediately steps away from the touch when she sees Lizzie’s angry gaze follow the action.

“Lizzie–”

“ _Her_?” Lizzie hisses, “After everything she’s done to us?”

“I can explain–”

“Oh, really? Then please, explain why you just tried to mount the girl who has done nothing but torture us.”

“She doesn’t owe you an explanation for anything.” Penelope sneers back at her. She’s about to move towards Lizzie, but Josie steps in front of her. Because the last thing this situation needs is _Penelope_ defending Josie to her sister.

Lizzie stares at Penelope, like she’s seconds away from launching herself at the girl. She laughs, bitter and betrayed, “This is a fucking joke.” She doesn’t even look at Josie as she leaves, and Josie goes to follow her only to have Penelope pull her back.

“Josie, _don’t_.” It’s less of an order – more like Penelope’s begging her, “She’s not your problem.”

“I can’t just leave her–”

“She’s the one who left, not you.” Penelope says, “Stay.”

Josie wants to listen to her. She wants to kiss Penelope again and go back to her room and be selfish for _once_. But it’s Lizzie.  

“She needs me.”

Frustration crosses Penelope’s features, “Do you want this?” she steps closer, cradling Josie’s face in her hands, forcing Josie’s eyes to her own, “Right now, Josie, do you want to be here with me? Or do you want to be with Lizzie?”  

Josie swallows, “I want to be here.”

“Then stay.” Penelope leans in, kisses her softly, forehead coming to rest against Josie’s when they separate, “It’s that easy.”

Josie stands there, hands coming to rest over Penelope’s, heart beating heavy in her chest. And then, “I’ll be back.” She promises. She pulls Penelope’s hands down from her face softly, “I’m going to make sure she’s okay and then I’ll be back.”

A beat falls between them. Penelope’s expression shifts, something akin to anger, and then embarrassment as she steps away back. “I guess that’s that, then.” She murmurs.

Josie can see her withdrawing from what just happened between them; she almost pulls her back in a desperate bid to stop it. She’s surprised her feet manage to carry her to the door anyway.

“Josie?”

She stops, turning to look back to Penelope. The soft expression from earlier is completely absent now, replaced instead with a cold, harsh glare.  

“Don’t bother coming back.”

* * *

For much of her life, Josie has been the one to shoulder the responsibility for her sister. She knows how to read Lizzie, she knows how to settle her. She knows that for Lizzie, loyalty is everything. Betrayal and lies are rarely forgivable. Usually, Josie is the one to reel her in and ground her again. But this time, it’s different. This time, it’s Josie who has let her down. And just how much more that hurts can be read plainly on Lizzie’s face.

“So this is what happens when I trust you to make the ‘right choices’?” Lizzie scoffs as she storms down the hallway, Josie barely keeping up with her sister.

“Lizzie, please.” Josie calls after her, “Can you just stop?”

“Why? So you can tell me some more lies about how you’re completely over Satan?”

“It’s not like that–”

“Really? Because usually you don’t try to have sex with someone you ‘hate’.”

“I wasn’t trying to…” Josie huffs, managing to catch up and pulling Lizzie to a stop, “Can you _please_ just listen to me?”

Lizzie stops, turning on Josie, “She’s using you. You know that, right?”

“I kissed her, Lizzie. I started it.”

Lizzie laughs, shaking her head in disbelief, “Of course you think that. She’s a manipulative bitch, Jo. After everything she’s put us through how can you _still_ not see that?”

“It’s complicated, okay?”

“What’s complicated about it?! You can’t be with her, Josie!” Lizzie exclaims, “Do I need to remind you how much she hurt you? She broke your heart – she completely ruined you! And what? Now you’re just going to let her do it again? She’s still that same person, Josie. She treats me like shit, she’s basically made both of our lives hell all year. How can you even think about getting back together with her?”

“I never said I wanted to get back with her.” Josie argues. And it’s true – she doesn’t know _what_ she wants. Doesn’t know if being with Penelope is even an option.

“Then what was that all about?”

“I don’t know! Maybe I’m figuring that part out!” Josie says, “I know you don’t like her, Lizzie, but it’s not that black and white. We have history, I can’t just ignore that.”

“You can move the fuck on like a sane person would.” Lizzie counters, “She doesn’t care about you. It’s just a sick twisted game to get between us. And clearly it’s working.”

“I’m not some stupid girl. I can make my own decisions.”

“Except you’re clearly making the wrong ones right now.”

“Well if I am it’ll be my own fault!”

“Okay, then, so be honest. Why her? Why risk going back there and having your heart broken all over again?”

“I’m not going back to her, though! It just happened, okay? This thing with the mistletoe – it’s just stirred up a lot of things and I guess I let myself get carried away.”

There’s a slight change in Lizzie’s composure, the stiffness in her shoulders relaxing, “So it was a mistake?”

Josie freezes. She knows her answer to the question – if she could, she’d go back to the kitchen and pick up where she left off with Penelope. She might not know what it means for them, but she knows it wasn’t a mistake. Not for her, anyway. She also knows that answer won’t be good enough for Lizzie.

“I’ve been drinking.” Josie says, defeated, “And all these mind games with Penelope have gotten to me more than I thought they had.”

“So you’re… what? Confused?”

“I guess.”

Lizzie takes it in, watching Josie like she can see right through her, “You told me you hated her.” She says, “Was that true?”

Josie steels herself, nods, “Yes.”

And it was, at the time. It still is now. Josie just has a few other emotions on top of that which might negate that hatred.

Lizzie looks unforgiving, lips curled into a scowl, eyes filled with anger. Josie thinks she’d do anything to get her to stop looking at her like this, but there is a small part of her – a part she can feel getting louder every day – that resents Lizzie for reacting like this to begin with. For taking something that should be Josie’s and making it her own.

“I don’t believe you.” Lizzie says.

And for the first time in her life, Josie’s not sure it really matters.

* * *

Josie spends the next day trailing after Lizzie like a kicked puppy, biding her time until eventually her sister has to cave and let things go back to normal. She doesn’t see Penelope at all – which considering the fact that Penelope is almost always just around the corner from Josie, she figures means she is being avoided. It’s probably a blessing in disguise, though. Josie’s not so certain Lizzie could handle even seeing her and Penelope in the same room right now.

Despite her keeping a suspicious eye on Josie at all times, Lizzie does finally give up her babysitting that night in favor of going out with MG. Josie knows she shouldn’t try to see Penelope – if Lizzie found out she’d kill her. But she can’t just leave things like they were left last night. She has to at least know where the hell she and Penelope stand with each other now. So, left to her own devices, Josie only lasts an hour stuck in her room before she caves and goes in search of Penelope.

It takes a few nervous minutes standing outside Penelope’s room before Josie grows the courage to knock. She figures she’ll have no luck, anyway. It’s a Saturday night and Penelope’s usually not lacking in invitations on the social calendar. Which is why she’s surprised when the door actually opens.

Penelope is dressed in sweats and a loose tank top, and Josie hates that she’s so weak that the sight makes her stomach do somersaults, reminded of days spent curled up with a casually dressed Penelope Park.

“Uh… hi.” Josie greets awkwardly.

For a moment, Penelope looks vulnerable. She grips the edge of the door tight, a soft frown furrowing her brow. But it’s only a moment before she regains her composure, takes a deep breath and secures that impenetrable façade that she loves so much.

“Can I help you?”

Ah. So she’s mad. Josie hovers at the door awkwardly, but Penelope remains firm in her place, showing no intention to invite her inside.

“I… thought we should talk.”

“What about?”

Josie tries not to roll her eyes at Penelope’s stubbornness, “About last night, obviously.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Penelope shrugs, “I had fun. It’s a shame Lizzie had to spoil it.”

The energy between them feels strange. Cold. Just standing this close to her, Josie can tell that something has shifted, she just doesn’t know what yet.

“I mean… I said I would come back.” Josie tries.

“I don’t play second-choice to Lizzie Saltzman.” Penelope says, “Anymore, that is.”

“I had to talk to her, Penelope. It was kind of a big deal.”

“For you, maybe.” Penelope sighs, refuses to really even look at Josie for more than a few seconds at a time. “Look, are we done here? I mean, this is all kind of serious for what was just a drunk hook-up.”

Josie literally feels Penelope’s words twist her heart, “A drunk hook-up.” She repeats, “Is… that what it was?”

Penelope doesn’t even falter, “Well, I’d been smoking too.” A mean, teasing smile pulls at her lips, “You jumped me, Jojo. A girl can only resist so much.”

The anger comes now. _God_ , Josie can’t stand her. She knows it was more than that; she saw the look on Penelope’s face. Felt the way she kissed her. Heard the desperation in her voice when she asked her to stay.

“You’re so full of shit.”

“I don’t really see how it’s _my_ fault that you read something more into it.”

“So, what, it was a mistake?” Josie bites out.

“No.” Penelope says simply, “It just isn’t something that warrants you ambushing me on a Saturday night to discuss wedding vows.”

Penelope meets Josie’s gaze with full confidence, as though daring her to let her break her heart again. Josie stands there, unsure what to do. She could argue with her – it’s what they do best. She could yell, call her out. She’s just not sure any of it would do any good.

“I’m sorry, Penelope.” She tries one last time. She steps forward, reaches for her hand, “Can we just talk–”

Penelope’s cool composure breaks the moment their skin touches, and she jumps away from Josie, frustration in her eyes now, “ _Don’t_.”

The reaction surprises Josie, and she doesn’t dare try again.

“Okay.” Josie says weakly, stepping back, “I guess it was a mistake, then.”

Penelope’s closed the door on her before she can get another word out.

* * *

After that, it’s like the moment in the kitchen didn’t happen at all. Or it did, and now Penelope’s simply retaliating in the way Penelope does best. Which means stomping all over Josie’s heart by kissing someone else under the mistletoe just in time for Josie to witness it on her way out of the dining hall.

Josie knew not expect anything good, given their poor excuse for a conversation as well as their general existence as exes. But still, a part of Josie had hoped for something else. She doesn’t regret the kiss – but she hates that she gave Penelope all the confirmation she needs to know she still has a hold on Josie. Now they’re just back to the same game as before.  

Or, not quite. This time, something is different. Penelope doesn’t acknowledge her at all, not even to exchange insults or bicker like what has been practically their daily routine all year. It’s like Josie doesn’t even exist, actually. Even when Penelope spends their classes flirting with one of her followers, not once does she glance Josie’s way. Josie used to think she wanted Penelope to leave her alone, but it feels like being broken up with all over again.  

Lizzie hasn’t completely iced Josie out, at least. But it’s not like normal, either. Josie feels like she’s on probation the majority of the time; if Penelope is around, just one accidental glance in her direction has Lizzie looking at Josie like she’s an absolute idiot. Maybe she is. After all, she’s somehow managed to get herself hurt by Penelope Park all over again.

This morning, she’s eating breakfast with Lizzie and MG. A book sits in front of her, like most mornings recently, considering it’s an easy excuse to not face forced conversation between her and Lizzie.

“I don’t get how she always has people fawning over her.” Lizzie remarks.

Josie doesn’t need to look up to know who she’s talking about. Lizzie’s voice only ever contains that much contempt when she’s talking about either Hope or Penelope. Considering Hope has most of the school terrified to speak to her, it’s not hard to determine the subject of this morning’s disgust.

Still, she looks up anyway, because she can’t really resist an excuse to look at Penelope without Lizzie condemning her for it. Josie regrets looking immediately, given how close Penelope sits to a blonde vampire girl.

“Like, really. How are we the only ones who seem to know she’s straight from hell?”

“Come on, Lizzie.” MG says, his eyes straying worryingly to Josie for a moment, “You guys just don’t like each other.”

“ _Yeah_ , because she’s evil.” Lizzie lets out a disgusted sound, “Look at her – she’s practically about to jump that girl in the middle of breakfast.”

Josie decides not to look Penelope’s way again, figuring she should start sparing herself the pain of watching her ex flirt her way through the school.

“She did help get us together. Doesn’t that earn her some points?”

“We’re not together, MG.” Lizzie says, although the small smile she wears suggests she doesn’t hate the idea, “And either way, I bet you’ll be paying for that for the rest of your life.”

“It’s not like that. She’s my friend.” MG wears that usual boyish smile, which Lizzie has apparently grown fond of lately, because she seems to soften. Why Lizzie feels the need to still complain about Penelope when she could instead be focusing on enjoying her new relationship, Josie doesn’t understand.

“You and Josie are too nice.” Lizzie says, “It’s why people like Penelope Park end up preying on you.”

Josie bristles at the comment, hand clenching into a fist on the table. Still, she says nothing.

“Nah.” MG shrugs off the comment, but Josie can hear the nerves in his voice over the sensitive subject, “I think we can handle ourselves.”

There’s silence for a moment, and Josie can feel Lizzie’s eyes on her.

“Are you… okay?” she asks eventually.

Josie looks up from her book, fixing a frown on her sister, “What?”

Lizzie shifts in her seat, her whole composure suddenly awkward, “I mean… with You Know Who flirting with everything that moves. Is it… are you okay?”

Josie can literally _hear_ how little Lizzie actually wants to know the answer, so she just looks back to her book, shrugging, “I have to be, don’t I?”

She can see MG and Lizzie having some silent conversation opposite her, but she ignores them. Soon enough, she hears Lizzie’s chair squeak against the floor, her sister storming out of the dining room.

“Can you _please_ just make up with her already?” MG says once Lizzie’s gone.

Josie sighs, looking up to big, desperate brown eyes, “We’re fine. Lizzie just needs time to get over it.”

“You’re not exactly happy with her, either.”

“It’s a good thing it doesn’t really matter how I feel, then.” Josie says, sending MG a bitter smile, “When Lizzie decides I’ve been forgiven, it’ll be fine.”

“She misses you.”

“It’s only been a couple of days. Besides, we live in the same room.”

“Yeah, but you’re always with Hope lately.”

That’s true. Josie has spent as much of her time with Hope as she can, given the fact that she’s the only one who doesn’t bring up Penelope or Lizzie every other second, if at all. Josie is safe to just wallow in peace with her.

“Well, Hope’s the only one who doesn’t make me feel like an idiot for just having human emotions.”

“Hey, I don’t do that.”

Josie smiles weakly, “I know. But you’re kind of attached at the hip to Lizzie right now.”

MG’s face falls, “Yeah. P’s acting weird with me, too. I get that she doesn’t like Lizzie but I thought she’d be cool with it; she _did_ help make this whole thing happen.”

“Don’t take it personally.” Josie says, feeling slightly guilty for MG’s inability to completely enjoy finally winning over the girl of his dreams. “She’s probably just not happy about having to share you with Lizzie.”

MG nods, and Josie thinks they’re done here, however a few minutes later he’s demanding her attention again. “… Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Are things actually over with you and P?”

The question unsettles Josie. Her eyes find Penelope across the room, her heart sinking as she’s denied those striking eyes meeting her own – a comfort she didn’t know she had at her disposal until it was taken away.

“Will you tell Lizzie what my answer is?” she asks.

“You’re my best friend, Jo. You know that’s sacred.”

Josie nods, pulling her eyes from Penelope, “She was my first love, MG.” she says, “How do you get over that?”

* * *

Despite it being a school-night, there’s another party at the old mill on Wednesday. With classes beginning to come to a close for Christmas, and everyone’s general patience for school growing limited, Josie imagines most nights there will be some celebration or other until the Christmas break arrives. The only reason she’s in attendance this time, is because she knows Penelope will be, too.

She doesn’t really know what her plan is, Josie just knows that she can’t stand this recent change between them. The more she drinks, the angrier she gets about it all. It’s just cruel, really. That Penelope can spend all year playing these mind-games, circling Josie at every opportunity just to taunt her, and then she just… stops acknowledging Josie at all. Like she couldn’t care less about her.

Josie didn’t think it possible, but she actually _misses_ bickering with her – at least then she had Penelope’s attention. At least she knew a part of Penelope cared in _some way_. This silence? This complete indifference Penelope is showing her now? Josie can’t stand it. Especially when she’s spent the majority of the night watching Penelope flirt with the same vampire from breakfast the other day, not sparing even a single glance in Josie’s direction in the process. At least before, it had been obvious Penelope was parading people around just to get under Josie’s skin. Now she doesn’t know _what_ to think.

“Quit staring at her.” Hope scolds Josie, pushing a cup of beer into Josie’s hand as she takes a considerably large swig from her own drink.

Josie hadn’t even had to ask Hope to come with her tonight – actually, she’s not entirely sure which of them had the idea in the first place. Hope had simply come back to the school after her latest escapade with Alaric with an apparent determination to get blind drunk, and Josie had been more than happy to do the same.  

“I’m not staring.” Josie mutters back.

“She says, as she continues to stare at her.” Hope narrates with a bored drawl, “Lizzie’s watching us, by the way.”

Josie doesn’t need to look for her sister to know that Hope’s probably right.

“Who do you think she hates more: me or Penelope?” Hope says.

“I think it depends on the day.”

“She _really_ hates us hanging out.”

“Wasn’t much of a fan of me kissing Penelope last week, either.”

“Hm. Maybe we should make out again.”

That catches Josie’s attention, her eyes moving to find an amused Hope looking back at her, “We’re not kissing just so you can compete for the position of Lizzie’s worst enemy.”

“You’re right. Kissing is reserved purely for the completely ethical means of making Penelope Park jealous.”

Josie glares at Hope, who smiles smugly back at her, “I’m beginning to regret this friendship.”

Hope shrugs, “Well I did tell you, friendship’s not in the Mikaelson genes.”

Josie’s about to respond when a body shoves between her and Hope, pushing them both to the side rudely. It’s Penelope and her vampire of the day, and neither even acknowledge Hope and Josie as they fill up their cups at the drinks table.

“Don’t mind us.” Hope remarks, loud enough for the pair to hear her.

Penelope looks over her shoulder, eyes falling on Josie for barely a second before they move to Hope, “I never do.”

Josie doesn’t hear Hope’s response. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her; she just stands there, frozen, watching as Hope and Penelope exchange insults, begging for Penelope to just look at her, to insult her, to do _something_. But not a single barb is spared for Josie, let alone a glance.

“As much as I enjoy the bitchy banter from time-to-time, the sex must have been amazing for you to _still_ be hung up on her.” Hope says when Penelope eventually stalks off, hand linked with the blonde vampire’s. Josie watches them leave until they disappear into the crowd. “Honestly, didn’t the Head Bitch act get boring?”

Josie sighs, taking a sip of her beer, “She was never really like that with me.”

The memory of a softer Penelope lingers at the back of her mind; Josie’s heart protests at even a glimpse of it.

Josie spends the rest of the night fixating on Penelope, letting herself get more and more irritated by her complete indifference towards her. Hope is sympathetic enough to not call Josie out on how ridiculous a problem it is to have, to be mad that Penelope isn’t actively taunting her like usual. She just watches with thinly veiled disapproval as Josie works herself up, anger growing with every moment she crosses paths with Penelope and Penelope continues to ignore her.

When she spots Penelope leaving later in the night, Hope doesn’t even get a sentence of warning out before Josie is following her ex into the woods, determined to get answers. She doesn’t have the vampire girl with her, which helps Josie’s mood just a little bit. It’s dark and still a short walk back to the school when Josie loses track of Penelope. She thinks she’s lost her completely when she hears a cleared throat behind her, turning to find Penelope resting up against a tree, watching Josie with an arched brow.

“Careful where you stray, Jojo. That leash Lizzie has you on could cause some serious whiplash.”

It’s probably bad that Josie is relieved to finally receive an insult from Penelope. She walks over to her, leaving a safe distance between them, “All this obsessing over Lizzie is starting to get suspicious, you know. If you’re into her, you can just say.”

Penelope looks mildly amused, “Thanks, but I’ll leave that nightmare for MG. One Saltzman twin is enough of a headache for me.” She sighs, looking around like she’s bored, “So is there a reason you’re stalking me through the woods?”

Josie’s not so sure what to say, now that she actually has Penelope’s attention.

Penelope rolls her eyes when Josie doesn’t answer, “Right, well, I have somewhere to be, so…”

“What is wrong with you?” Josie says.

Penelope’s whole composure screams of someone who wants to be anywhere but here, “As far as I’m aware, nothing.”  

“You’ve barely even looked at me all week.”  

“I didn’t realize that was a job of mine.”

This version of Penelope scares Josie – cagey and closed-off, completely cold. She’d take taunting and bickering over it any day.

“Is it because of what happened with Lizzie?” she asks.

Penelope rolls her eyes, “Hard to believe, but not everything is about your sister.”

“So what’s it about then?”

“It’s not–” Penelope looks irritated, like she hadn’t intended the conversation to lead here. She crosses her arms in front of her chest stubbornly, backtracking, “I would’ve thought you’d be happy. You’re the one always telling me to lay-off and leave you alone.”  

Josie imagines this is what people mean by ‘be careful what you wish for’.

“But why now?” she says, “You’ve spent the last year practically shadowing me, trying to get under my skin whenever you can. Why the sudden change?”

Penelope pauses for a moment. She looks like she’s deliberating over her answer, eyes cast away from Josie. But when they find her again, only cruelty swims in them, “Maybe I’m just bored.”

Josie thinks it’d have been easier if Penelope had just driven an actual blade through her heart this time, “So that’s it, then? Just like that.”

“That’s it.”

The thing is, as much as it might hurt, Josie doesn’t believe her. Her jaw tightens, and she steps forward, “You know, there were two people in our relationship, Penelope. I know you as well as you know me.” She says, “I can tell when you’re lying just to save face.”

Penelope scowls, “Or you’re just delusional.”  

“You really expect me to believe that last week meant nothing? That my _birthday_ meant nothing?” she doesn’t falter under Penelope’s sharp stare, “I’m not buying it.”

“It doesn’t really matter if you do.” Penelope shrugs, “I told you before: I’m selfish. I wanted something and I went for it. Now that I’ve gotten it, I’m done.”

Josie doesn’t know how this one girl can manage to infuriate her so much. Penelope holds Josie’s gaze defiantly, hiding behind that impenetrable mask of indifference. Josie knows arguing her now will get her nowhere. For any response Josie could give, Penelope will return an unforgiving answer to match. So instead, Josie does the only thing she knows will get a reaction.

“What’re you doing?” Penelope says when Josie moves closer to her. There’s a hint of panic in Penelope’s eyes that tells Josie she’s not wrong – everything about the girl right now is an act.

“You’re wrong. Lizzie interrupted us, so… you didn’t get what you wanted. I mean, you _wanted_ it to go further, or you wouldn’t have asked me back to your room.” Josie notices Penelope’s sharp intake of breath, takes a final step so there’s no space between them, “So I’m just curious, if this really was all just about a drunk hook-up, why back out before you get what you want? Since when does Penelope Park quit?”

She knows calling Penelope on her bluff could backfire – Penelope could take what she wants and leave and prove that this really was all just another game. But Josie can see the cracks in her façade. Is convinced that this time, she can’t be wrong.

So, she calls Penelope on her bluff. Josie moves forward and brings her lips to Penelope’s. The force of the kiss backs Penelope up against the tree behind her, a soft gasp escaping her as her back collides with the trunk. She doesn’t falter, though, sinking into the kiss and matching Josie’s pace with equal fervor.

There’s nothing soft about it. Not in the harsh way their bodies press together, not in the way Penelope’s teeth sink into Josie’s bottom lip before she coaxes her tongue into Josie’s mouth. It’s all anger and frustration, driving every push and pull.

“You know what I think?” Josie says when Penelope breaks their kiss, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment as Penelope’s mouth finds her neck, teeth scraping across her skin ever so lightly before soft lips follow, “I think you’re a liar. I think it hurt you when I went after Lizzie; and now you’re scared because you don’t have all the control.”

Penelope’s teeth sink hard into her neck in reprimand and then she leans back up to connect their lips once more. Her hands grip Josie’s hips tight, and she turns them, Josie letting out a gasp of pain as she’s shoved back against the tree. Penelope pulls back from the kiss then, furious eyes focusing on Josie. “And _I_ think you’re projecting.” She snarls back.

Penelope doesn’t move to kiss Josie again, and while disappointed by the loss of contact, satisfaction settles in Josie knowing she’s struck the right chord in her.

“Then prove it.” She goads her, “If all you want is some stupid conquest to stroke your ego… take it.”

Penelope glares back at her, cheeks flushed. She leans back in, lips brushing against Josie’s only lightly, teasingly. Josie’s own motivation here is growing clouded in her mind, given how happy she’d be to go back to Penelope’s room right now, despite the point she wants to make.

Penelope gets what she wants when Josie goes to chase her lips, pulling back before Josie can kiss her. She wears a cruel smirk when Josie’s eyes flutter open, like she’s won this battle between them. But the waver to her voice, the raw anger Josie can hear behind it, suggests otherwise.

“I wouldn’t want to get between you and Lizzie.” Penelope’s sneers. Her eyes glance to Josie’s lips one final time, and then she’s stepping back, walking away.

Josie watches her until the woods engulf her, and while she thinks that maybe her point was made, that maybe Penelope _does_ care.

She’s not entirely sure what that changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i'm sorry i'll see myself out. All hate can be sent to the comment section below or if you wanna come for my personal i'll be over on @saltzpen on twitter.
> 
> (Thanks for all the feedback on last chap!! I had a few good laughs reading some comments. Hope y'all had a good NYE! One step closer to legacies' return.)


	5. Chapter 5

**If y'all want some posie songs,[here is the playlist I use for this fic](https://open.spotify.com/user/tegantucker/playlist/0Gh6BCyjGRfFA75k8waG83?si=PqoheAGwQRKVV4b3XALwqA).**

* * *

Something changes after the woods. Things don’t go back to normal, but Penelope’s act of indifference towards Josie is replaced with something more akin to apprehension. Josie catches Penelope’s eyes on her a lot now, but not in the taunting way they used to follow her about a room. Now it’s with a furrowed brow, a tense and uneasy stare. Like Josie’s a problem she’s struggling to solve. It unsettles Josie, too. Feels like they’re just balancing on the edge of something, waiting for everything to blow up around them.

Not knowing where she stands with Penelope is quickly making her insane; which isn’t really helped with the fact that this ridiculous mistletoe prank is still going on. She doesn’t even make it to her first class today without the enchanted plant appearing above her head in an archway.

“Oh my god, _really?!_ ” Josie huffs as the bell chimes above her.

She looks around – doesn’t know why she even bothers, as everyone behind her stands frozen in their places, some even beginning to turn and head in another direction instead of attempting to make it under the arch.

“You’re all really _that_ scared of Penelope Park?” Josie looks at her peers, wondering how in a school filled with supernatural beings, one witch can hold so much power over them. “What do you even think she’s going to do?”

“I’d prefer not to find out.” One of the students says.

“You know I can be mean too, right?” Josie says.

Clearly, Josie’s been too nice throughout her time at the school, because no one even bats an eyelid at the statement. She does, however, catch familiar eyes behind the growing crowd in the hallway. Penelope watches her from where she stands amongst friends, that same quiet unease on her face.

“ _So_?” Josie prompts, looking pointedly at Penelope, “Are you going to help me?”

She thinks, surely, Penelope wouldn’t be able to resist a chance to rub this in her face all over again. She’s still Penelope, after all. Since when hasn’t she been able to bite when given the opportunity?

But Josie’s apparently wrong, and this new version of Penelope remains where she is. She holds Josie’s gaze for a few more moments, and then she turns back to her friends, pretending she doesn’t have an ex-girlfriend glaring at her from under the mistletoe.

“Seriously?” Josie calls to her, exasperated, “You know if you’re really over all of this, you could at least let someone else help me.”

A couple of the students look questioningly over to Penelope, and Josie’s anger grows as she watches her ex manage to find enough of remnants of her usual self to train threatening glares on each of them before going back to her conversation.

“I leave you alone for a minute and you start yelling at the cohort, huh?”

Josie thanks the vampire, werewolf, witch gods for Hope Mikaelson – as well as for the way Penelope immediately stiffens at the sound of her voice. She turns, finding Hope behind her, standing at the threshold of the arch with a bored expression.

“Care to help?” Josie pleads.

Hope’s eyes move over Josie’s shoulders, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth when her gaze must settle on a disgruntled Penelope, “I’m beginning to think you just like kissing me.” she remarks, stepping beneath the arch with Josie.

Penelope doesn’t stick around to watch the kiss.

* * *

Penelope Park has always prided herself in maintaining a certain level of control in every situation she finds herself in. In a school filled with witches, vampires and werewolves, doing so is a necessity just to make it to graduation. She plots, she schemes, she makes contingency plans all to ensure that at no time is she surprised by what might happen around her. Emma, the school counsellor, has labelled it a defensive mechanism in the past – Penelope’s not sure what’s so bad about that, anyway, but she does prefer to call it simple initiative.

In her time at the Salvatore Boarding School, there has only been one instance where Penelope has entered into a situation blind; she has Josie Saltzman to thank for that. For all the things Penelope had prepared for, she had not seen Josie coming. Falling for the girl had been the easiest thing she’d ever done; but of course, consequences accompanied that kind of recklessness. Where Penelope’s plans in the past had always been self-serving, she quickly found her happiness tied to that of a Saltzman twin whose own fate is so intertwined with her sister’s, that she refuses to take anything for her own. It truly is a cruel hand to be dealt – to love a girl who lives for others. To watch as she surrenders herself to the will of those prepared to take without thinking to leave anything behind.

It didn’t take long for Penelope to realize the road she had to bring them down. For Josie to start caring for herself, it had to be her decision. No amount of arguments about Lizzie or begging on Penelope’s part would change things. Josie didn’t need a girlfriend. What she needed was a reason to fight for herself – a broken heart and a villain for her story. It just so happens Penelope makes a damn good villain.

Before their moment in the kitchen, Penelope had thought Josie was making some kind of progress. She’d been acting on her own more often, defying Lizzie’s wishes and chasing her desires. Penelope had thought, maybe, Josie was ready to come back to her. But when it came to the crossroads between what Lizzie wanted and what Josie wanted, Josie had chosen Lizzie all over again.

Penelope hadn’t realized, in missing Josie, that she made the mistake of having her own selfish stake in the game. Watching Josie still pick Lizzie had hurt more than she’d expected. And now she’s angry, embarrassed, disappointed… still pathetically hoping for Josie to take her freedom. Hoping that when that happens, it’ll mean having her again.

As a selfish person, it’s hard to navigate the world of putting another person before herself. She likes control – but caring for Josie means giving most of that up. It would be easy to just go back to her, to pretend Josie isn’t burying herself under Lizzie’s demands and just take what she can get from Josie while she can. But somehow Penelope has found herself in the unfortunate situation of giving too much of a fuck, and as long as Josie continues to put herself last, Penelope will keep pushing her towards the breaking point where she finally makes a change.

Although, all of this is kind of hard when she’s being distracted by her own jealousy over Josie’s budding… _whatever_ with Hope Mikaelson.

They’re in Chemistry of Magic, and from her desk Penelope can hear Josie’s voice across the room, talking to Hope yet again – because apparently the two can’t leave each other’s fucking sides lately. She doesn’t dare glance Josie’s way, knowing doing so will only fuel Josie’s case that Penelope gives a shit. It takes everything in her not to, though. Just her luck, the pair have been made partners for the latest assignment. The playful tone between Josie and Hope makes Penelope want to launch herself at the damn tribrid and force her into a premature life as a vampire.

“Lizzie, you’ll work with Penelope.”

Penelope’s head snaps up to look at Mr. Williams, “ _Wh–”_

“ _What_?” Lizzie beats Penelope to it, “Why?”

“Because I said so.” Mr. Williams looks between them sternly. Of course, a charming trait of Penelope’s least favorite Salvatore twin is that she thinks she’s untouchable due to her father being the headmaster.

“If there isn’t any actual reason, why can’t I be paired with someone else?” Lizzie argues.

Penelope sighs, dealing with the ever-difficult choice of fighting the decision because she doesn’t want to work with Lizzie, or accepting it purely because of how much it would annoy the other girl. Because she can’t resist torturing her, Penelope chooses the latter.

“I don’t have a problem with it.” She says innocently, smiling at Mr. Williams as she feels Lizzie’s burning glare on her.

“Good, because this isn’t negotiable.” Mr. Williams looks to Lizzie pointedly and she shrinks in her seat in defeat.

Penelope’s eyes stray to Josie for only a second; she’s not looking back, deep brown eyes staring down at the floor as she worriedly chews on her bottom lip. She imagines Josie’s panicking over the thought that Penelope might reveal their latest kiss to Lizzie. Which would receive a very entertaining reaction, Penelope thinks.

Mr. Williams dismisses them to the courtyard for the first half of the class, with the instruction to work on their assigned spells together before he orders them back to the classroom. Lizzie complains until he’s out of hearing range, and then she simply resorts to glaring at Penelope as they situate themselves out on the grass. Penelope’s not sure which of them made sure they weren’t too far away from Hope and Josie, but she’s not mad about it.

She’s been trying to ignore Josie for the most part since the woods. It was jarring, having Josie call her out like she did. Penelope’s never lied to herself about her remaining feelings for her, but having Josie be aware of it? Having her _use_ it? That unsettles her. Makes her feel painfully out of control of the situation. Penelope has a plan – and being vulnerable does not help her achieve it.

Predictably, because she apparently has no control whatsoever at this point, Penelope’s attempt to ignore Josie is not going well. But it’s hard to do that when Hope fucking Mikaelson insists on flirting with Josie all through class. There are many things Penelope’s good at – dealing with jealousy? Not so much.

“Quit looking at her.” Lizzie bites out, “Why don’t you get it? She hates you.”

Penelope’s jaw tightens, and she forces her eyes from Josie and Hope, schooling her features to that of indifference as she meets Lizzie’s gaze. She bites her tongue, resists the urge to tell Lizzie all about the night in the woods. God, she’d love to shove it in her face. She doesn’t know why she refrains – she’s caused enough chaos for Lizzie and Josie for this to just be another thing on that long list. But something about the woods is different. So she chooses a different route.

“Hey Lizzie, what’s it like losing your dad _and_ Josie to Hope?” Penelope says.

Lizzie’s expression darkens, “Shut up.”

Penelope smirks, thriving on the girl’s anger, “But wait…” she frowns, feigning confusion, “Isn’t Josie supposed to ‘hate’ her, too?”

For a moment, Penelope thinks she might have hit the jackpot – Lizzie looks about ready to launch herself at her. But she must be practicing restraint, because her fists unclench at her side and she settles back down.

“Let’s just get this stupid spell done.” Lizzie pauses, then rolls her eyes, annoyed, “We need to go back inside.”

“Why?”

“I need to syphon some magic.”

“Just syphon from me.”

“Ew. No.” Lizzie scrunches her nose up in disgust, “You’re probably carrying some disease.”  

“Ha ha.” Penelope drawls, “ _Josie_ used to like my magic just fine.”

Lizzie looks at Penelope with so much resentment, Penelope can’t help but grin, “Well she came to her senses, didn’t she?” Lizzie says.

Again, there’s that temptation to tell Lizzie just how wrong she is.

Josie’s laugh carries across the courtyard, then, and Lizzie’s frown deepens.

“That wouldn’t even be happening if it weren’t for that little stunt you pulled telling everyone not to kiss her.” Lizzie grumbles, gesturing to Hope and Josie.

“Right, because I could have predicted Hope Mikaelson’s loner tribrid self would suddenly have sapphic desires to fulfil with my ex-girlfriend.”

Penelope hates that she’s _that_ insecure that she looks over to Hope and Josie again. Her heart jumps when she sees they’re now holding hands, but she realizes they’re working on the spell. Then she notices the soft red glow where their hands connect, and another spark of jealousy runs through her. She knows it’s not that deep – she just offered to let Lizzie do the same, after all. But when Josie had done it to Penelope in the past, there had been something that felt more intimate about it, given their relationship. As stupid as it is, it still stings seeing Josie siphon Hope’s magic.

“Is she into her?” the question spills from Penelope’s lips before she can catch herself. Thankfully, Lizzie’s too caught up in her own irritation to really fixate on Penelope’s.

“Right now, Josie wouldn’t tell me even if she were.” Lizzie mutters.

At least that gives Penelope a little bit of pleasure. If she’s going to be stuck pining over Josie, it’s nice to know that in the process, Josie’s defying Lizzie’s wishes in some way.

They both go silent, watching Hope and Josie for a moment before turning their attention to the spell sheet provided to them.

 Penelope never thought she’d find herself on similar ground to Lizzie Saltzman.

* * *

Penelope feels Josie’s eyes on her as she kisses another nameless girl under the mistletoe. It’s the first time it’s happened since the woods – something Penelope feels was necessary. A reminder to Josie that for all the power she claims to have over Penelope, Penelope’s still the one to hold the cards. Even if she’s been feeling increasingly out of control of this whole situation lately.

Her eyes are opening before the kiss is even finished, gaze finding Josie’s across the room as she pulls her lips from the girl in front of her. She holds Josie’s betrayed stare, offering a smug smile in return, and drops her hands from the girl’s face.

Josie only holds her ground for so long before she murmurs something to Hope and leaves the room. Penelope’s smile falls the moment Josie’s gone. The girl beneath the mistletoe with her says something – flustered and flirty – but Penelope doesn’t spare her a second glance, dismissing the kiss from her mind and making her own exit from the room. That weight that has been sitting on her chest for weeks now grows just that little bit heavier, and Penelope’s beginning to wonder how much more of all this she has in her.  

She doesn’t like doing it. Penelope doesn’t think there’s much worse than seeing that look of absolute heartbreak on Josie’s face every time she manages to hit a nerve with her words or actions. But she can’t seem to stop herself, sometimes. As much as she tells herself she’s just doing what needs to be done to push Josie towards a change – to get her to accept anger and act out without thinking so much about what other people need her to be – Penelope knows there’s something inside her, something dark and twisted and cruel, that takes comfort in causing the pain. Because at least then she knows she still has a hold on Josie; even if it means being hated by her. At least then, there’s some glimmer of hope that she hasn’t given up Josie forever.

Although, the person who seems likely to ruin any chance of _that_ , is currently storming down the hall towards her.

“Penelope.” Hope calls after her, voice commanding in a way that was a birthright as a Mikaelson.

Penelope comes to a slow stop, mood immediately shifting as she turns to wait for Hope to reach her, “Hope.” She greets, looking at her expectantly.

They’d been on their way to becoming friends after their team-up on Josie’s birthday. For a moment, Penelope hadn’t been completely opposed to the idea. Then Hope had to go and start making out with Josie at every opportunity.

“How much longer are you going to do this?” Hope sneers when she comes to a stop in front of Penelope.

Penelope only plays dumb because it’s so enjoyable to see the frustration on Hope’s usually composed face, “Do what?”

Hope glares at her, “Don’t you think it’s getting tired? Throwing random girls in Josie’s face, playing with her just to spite her?”

“I’d say Josie gives it back pretty fairly.” Penelope says, maybe a little bit too defensively, “Remind me, how many times have you shoved your tongue down her throat this week?”

“Why, Penelope, are you jealous?”

“No, Josie did always want to a puppy.” Penelope shrugs, “I just didn’t think mutts were her type.”

“If this is all just some game you’re playing… you need let it go. Because if you don’t, and Josie gets hurt?” Hope’s voice is threatening, her teeth slightly bared as she looks at Penelope, “I _will_ step in.”

Penelope bristles at the threat – absolutely loathes having someone else lecture her about Josie.

“For the record, Josie doesn’t need you to protect her. And what happens between us is none of your business.” Penelope scowls, stepping forward, “So the next time you try to threaten me… I don’t care _what_ you are, Hope. I’ll make sure you regret it.”

Hope is doesn’t budge under Penelope’s attempted intimidation, “You’ll lose her if you keep this up.”

It unnerves Penelope, seeing how much Hope cares for Josie. Seeing that same protectiveness she feels for Josie reflected in Hope’s eyes.

Penelope lets out an empty laugh, “It’s a good thing this isn’t about me, then.”

* * *

That night, Penelope stands at a very familiar door, questioning her sanity for a considerable time before her she lifts her hand to knock. Really, she should go and see Emma – because she has to be possessed or something to even be _considering_ the alliance she’s about to make.

When the door opens, her entire body protests at the sight of a scowling Lizzie Saltzman – begging her to escape down the hallway and forget this whole stupid idea.

Lizzie looks furious the moment her eyes fall on Penelope, “Josie’s not here,” She says through clenched teeth, “and even if she _were_ , she wouldn’t want to see you, so… bye.”

Penelope rolls her eyes, hand falling on the door before Lizzie can slam it shut, “I know; she’s with Hope. I’m here to see you.”

For once in her life, Lizzie actually seems at a loss for words, “In that case, no I don’t want to sell my soul to the dark lord–”

“You’re trying to get rid of the mistletoe, right?”

Lizzie pauses, opening the door just a little bit further, “… yes.”

“Have you gotten very far?”

Lizzie watches her suspiciously, “… not really.”

“Of course you haven’t.” Penelope sighs, not sure why she even expected anything, considering Lizzie’s spent most of her recent days playing tonsil hockey with MG. She barges passed Lizzie, walking into the room. She pauses once she’s near Josie’s side, realizing this is the first time she’s properly passed the door since they broke up. The only thing that’s different is the pictures stuck around Josie’s mirror – where there used to be images of Penelope, there are now blank spaces. She swallows the lump in her throat, turns back to Lizzie with hopefully an unbothered expression, “Maybe there’s a way to make someone immune to it. Like how it won’t show up for the younger students.”

Lizzie is still visibly uncomfortable with Penelope’s presence, and she takes a moment to reluctantly close the door and move back into the room, “Wait, I thought _you_ were the one to spell the mistletoe.”

Penelope pauses, purses her lips, “Well… yeah.” She shrugs, deciding there’s no point lying, “I did.”

“You’re actually Satan.”

“Because _Satan_ spends time making magical mistletoe. It was a little bit of fun.” Penelope drifts further to Josie’s side of the room. There is one remaining photo of her – an image of Penelope’s silhouette, shadowed as she sits on the edge of the roof, the sun setting before her. She wonders if Josie kept it because it’s the only thing Lizzie wouldn’t recognize as Penelope. Or she just forgot to throw it out with the rest of the memories of them.

“Right, I’m sure it had nothing to do with torturing my sister.” Lizzie says, “Why don’t you just lift the spell if you want it gone?”

“I did, obviously.” Penelope rolls her eyes, turning back to Lizzie, “But then they kept showing up, so I guess some other kids decided to keep it going.”

“Right. So… _why_ do you care all of a sudden? If you’re the one who cast it in the first place.”

“It’s a tacky and tired prank. It needs to go.”

Lizzie’s eyes narrow, “You didn’t think that when you were chasing my sister around the school kissing her.”

“Yeah, well…” Penelope struggles to find any real excuse, so she figures she might as well go with the truth, “Alright I can’t take another fucking day of seeing her and Hope making out.”

Reasonably so, Lizzie looks shocked to have received a genuine answer, “Huh.” She snorts, “Maybe I want it up after all, if it’s upsetting you so much.”

“Please. You hate it just as much as I do.”

Lizzie shrugs, doesn’t deny it, “So when did you lift the spell?”

Penelope looks away, arms crossed in front of her and shifting uncomfortably, “When Hope kissed her the first time.

Lizzie pauses, and then a laugh escapes her, “I’m sorry,” she says, as unapologetic as possible, “It’s just _great_ seeing you finally get a taste of your own medicine. How was it having your scheme blow up in your face?”

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the feeling.” Penelope counters, still slightly distracted by Josie’s lingering presence in the room, “So do you want my help, or are you happy to watch Josie and Hope become the school’s next power couple?”

That snaps Lizzie out of it, and within seconds she looks like a girl ready to go to war.

Penelope thinks maybe this might not be the _worst_ idea she’s had.

* * *

Josie doesn’t make it back to her room until late that night. While she and Lizzie have been better lately, on nights like tonight, where her mind strays to Penelope every other second, she figures it best to keep away rather than risk another fight. Even with Lizzie attempting to be more understanding (courtesy of MG), conversations about Penelope are best not had at all.

So it’s surprising when she reaches her room and the door swings open, Penelope walking out of it.

They both freeze at the sight of one another. Penelope’s eyes widen, and after a moment she closes the door behind her, strategically stepping around Josie so they don’t touch.

Josie just stares at her with a soft frown. They haven’t spoken a word to each other since the woods; she wonders if it’s stupid of her to think Penelope is here to change that.

“Chemistry of Magic.” Penelope says eventually, gesturing to the door, “We were working on the spell for class.”

Ah. So Josie _is_ stupid.

Josie nods, “Okay.” She mumbles out pathetically.

Penelope hovers there, like she wants to say something, but then she just lets out a breath and turns to walk down the hallway.  

It takes a beat for Josie to wrap her head around the bizarre encounter, but when she finally goes to open her door, Penelope’s voice brings her to a halt.

“You never fought for us.” Penelope says it so quietly, and when Josie turns back to her, she’s surprised to find only vulnerability in Penelope’s gaze. No mask, no smirk, hands folded nervously in front of her.

“What?”

Penelope seems to consider dropping it, but then she walks over to Josie, leaving a healthy distance between them when she gets closer. “When I told you I wanted to break up. You just… accepted it.” Penelope laughs, void of any real humor, “Like we were agreeing on a fucking movie to watch.”

Josie doesn’t know where this has come from – why Penelope wants to talk about this _now_.  “What was I supposed to do?” she says, slightly irritated, “Convince you to change your mind?”

“Why _wouldn’t_ you? If you loved me, you wouldn’t have just let it end like that.”

Anger prickles at Josie, “If _I_ loved you?” she seethes, stepping forward, “It didn’t _matter_ how I felt, Penelope. If you loved _me_ you wouldn’t have ended it at all.”  

Penelope shakes her head, like Josie is a child incapable of understanding, “You’re wrong.”

“No, I’m not.” Josie thought she’d been as angry as she could be at Penelope. But this anger is so much more raw – Penelope’s picking at a wound that never fully healed. They’ve never actually spoken about the break-up. Josie stills understands so little about it, how Penelope could have gone so cold so fast, without giving Josie a _second_ to realize what was happening before it was over.

“If you want something you have to fight for it, Josie. You didn’t even try.”

“Don’t you _dare_ pin this on me.” Josie hates the tears that prickle at her eyes, wishes she could just be furious without the pain that accompanies it. “You made the decision to break up. I shouldn’t have had to _convince_ you to stay with me. To love me. If you wanted to be with me, you would have stayed.”

“It’s not that simple.” Penelope says, stubbornly holding her ground.

“Yes, it is!”

“Okay, what about the kitchen, then? Explain that to me, Josie. You said you wanted to stay with me, but you left. For Lizzie. How is that any different to what I did?”

“I was coming back to you. You’re the one who told me not to.”

“You wouldn’t have, though. The moment you chased after Lizzie, what happened in that kitchen was over. You never would have left her again.”

“It’s still not the same.” Josie shakes her head, “ _You_ broke _my_ heart. You don’t get to just change the story and blame me.”

“Maybe you just never actually understood the story in the first place.”

“You left! You left, Penelope! What else is there to understand? That you couldn’t handle that I cared about Lizzie? Because you couldn’t have all of my attention?”

Anger flickers across Penelope’s face, “That’s not what it was about, and you know it.”

“Then what was it about?”

“Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love _refuse_ to take care of themselves?” Penelope hisses, “I didn’t give a shit about you picking me over Lizzie or any of that. I just couldn’t sit around and watch you give _everything_ to Lizzie. I wasn’t going to do that.”

“So instead of facing it together and giving me a chance, you left.” Josie’s voice wavers. She just wants Penelope to feel as broken as she did. To know what it felt like having her walk away like Josie meant nothing at all. “You’re a coward.”   

“Don’t call me that.”

Josie steps closer, “You’re a coward.” She repeats, but she doesn’t feel any satisfaction in the way Penelope flinches at her words.

“And you didn’t love me.” Penelope says it so simply, Josie feels like she’s been punched in the gut. “You _couldn’t_ love me. That would have required you allowing yourself something of your own.” Penelope looks defeated, hurt, _angry_ , “All I ever wanted was you, Josie. So you can call me a coward, you can say I broke your heart…” she shrugs, voice cracking, “But you broke mine first.”

“I hate you.” It comes out so weak, so unsteady. The lie worn on Josie's sleeve.

Penelope sighs, steps away from Josie, “I know." she says, "But at least those feelings are your own." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer waiting time, guys! And for all the angst. Thanks to everyone who left comments on the last chap! I really appreciate hearing your thoughts, let me know what you thought of this one :) 
> 
> Until next update, enjoy the spotify playlist. If you have any good posie song recs let me know, I'm over at @saltzpen


	6. Chapter 6

_Loving Josie Saltzman is the easiest thing Penelope Park has ever done._

_If you ask her when it happened, she won’t be able to give you an answer. Penelope thinks she’s fallen in love with Josie a number of times. When she first met her gaze from across the circle in Chemistry of Magic. The first time she heard her laugh. Their first kiss, their second, their third. Their first fight. The truth is, Penelope falls in love anew with Josie every day._

_It comes to her like it’s second nature. Like perhaps a part of her has always loved Josie, it was just waiting for her to arrive. Loving Josie is easy._

_Telling her that she loves her, however? Definitely more difficult._

_Penelope doesn’t know why it’s so hard; she’s never had to think twice about telling Josie anything. She’d thought tonight would be the moment she’d been waiting for. If there’s any event that would make for the right moment, it has to be the Christmas dance, right?_

_Apparently not._

_She’d almost said it at the beginning of the night, when Josie had answered the door, not yet dressed despite the dance being well underway. Her eyes had traced over Penelope and she’d smiled at her with so much unbridled happiness that Penelope had thought, for sure, then would be the time. With Josie standing in her room in sweats, make-up half done and managing to still be the most breathtaking sight Penelope’s ever seen. But then Josie was pulling her into the room and kissing her and well – the girl can be distracting, okay?_

_“Hey.” Josie had breathed out when they separated._

_Penelope smiled, heart beating heavily in her chest, desperate for her to just let those words tumble out, “Hi.”_

_“You look amazing.” Josie stepped back from Penelope, as if remembering herself, “I’m_ so _sorry. I tried to get ready on time, but– you know, Lizzie needed help and then suddenly it was past six and–”_

_“Jojo, it’s okay.” Penelope followed Josie to her mirror, coming to stand behind her, arms wrapping around her girlfriend’s waist and pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder, “Just tell me what you need.”_

_That was the beginning of Penelope’s night of missed opportunities. She almost told her during their first dance, but settled for pulling her closer. She almost told her when they stepped outside for some air, but let her lips tell the tale instead. She almost told her while they waited for photos – but okay, that time it was honestly Lizzie’s fault, because she pulled Josie away for ‘twin pics’ before Penelope could get a word out._

_Anyway, in no time the dance was coming to an end, and Penelope was still yet to actually do the one thing she’d swore to herself she’d do tonight._

_They find themselves up on the roof, despite most everyone else having gone to the after party at the old mill. It had been Josie’s suggestion, that they ditch, and Penelope wasn’t exactly upset over the thought of getting Josie all to herself instead._

_It’s cold and Josie sits between Penelope’s legs, back pressed against her front, a blanket draped over the both of them and Penelope’s arms wrapped around Josie’s waist. The lights of the old mill are visible amongst the woods, but everything else is still. Penelope thinks she could happily stay like this forever, wrapped up in Josie._

_“Pen?” Josie’s voice is soft, her fingers brushing lightly over where Penelope’s hands are clasped around her middle._

_“Hmm?” Penelope mumbles into Josie’s neck._

_“Are you okay?”_

_Penelope frowns at the question, presses a kiss to Josie’s neck, “Why wouldn’t I be?”_

_Josie shrugs, “You’ve been acting strange all night.”_

_Penelope curses herself mentally. Of course, she’s managed to make telling Josie she loves her into something that has ruined what was supposed to be an amazing night._

_“I didn’t mean to.” She says. Her hold on Josie tightens instinctively when the girl goes to move, and she only relinquishes her hold when realizes Josie’s simply turning around to face her. She catches the befuddled expression on Josie’s face, “What?”_

_Josie continues to frown at her even as she gets up slightly, coaxing Penelope to stretch out so she can shuffle into her lap, legs wrapping around Penelope’s middle. Penelope’s hands rest at Josie’s lower back, keeping her in place._

_“I can never read you.” Josie says, no real irritation in her words._

_Penelope laughs softly, “You don’t need to.”_

_“But it’s not fair. You can take one look at my face and know what I’m thinking.”_

_“I’m fairly talented.”_

_Josie pokes Penelope’s side in reprimand, pouting at her, “I’m serious. You need to tell me what’s going on or I can’t fix it.”_

_Penelope knows her amused smile frustrates Josie, but she can’t help it when the girl is so utterly, adorably oblivious. How she can’t_ see _how much she effects Penelope, she’ll never understand. Penelope feels like she wears it on her damn sleave every day._

_“There’s nothing to fix, Josie. I promise.”_

_Josie sighs, resting her forehead against Penelope’s, “Then what is it?”_

_Penelope rolls her eyes, leans in to kiss her, “Nothing bad.”_

_The answer doesn’t impress Josie. When Penelope goes to kiss her again, she moves her head back, avoiding her lips, “You don’t think I’m just going to accept these cryptic answers, do you?”_

_Penelope stares back at her girlfriend dumbly, “I mean… you kind of have to.”_

_“Or what?”_

_“Or…” Penelope frowns, lets out an awkward laugh, “I don’t know. Why is this such a big deal?”_

_“It’s not a big deal, I’d just like to know why my girlfriend keeps drifting off like she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.” Josie says, “Is it something to do with your coven?”_

_“No. I told you, there’s nothing wrong.”_

_“People don’t just check out like you keep doing without there being something wrong.”_

_“Well, they do when they’re trying to figure out how to tell a girl they love her.” It falls out of Penelope’s mouth without her blessing. Filled with attitude. Definitely **not** how Penelope wanted the news to be delivered._

_Her eyes widen the moment she says it, mouth hanging open in shock._

_Josie looks at her, frozen, frown creasing her brow._

_“Oh, God–”_

_“Did you just?” Josie stares at Penelope, “You…”_

_“Said nothing.” Penelope tries desperately, “I said nothing.”_

_“No, you didn’t. I mean – you did… say… something.” Josie refuses to move from Penelope’s lap even when Penelope tries to coax her off of her, “Did you just **accidentally** tell me you love me?”_

_“Technically, no.” Penelope reasons, “I could have been talking about other people. I didn’t say I was talking about **me**.” _

_“Uh huh.” A smile tugs at Josie’s lips, “You’re gonna go with that excuse?”_

_“I’m pretty confident in it.”_

_“You know, if you want to say it the way you planned, you can. We can just pretend you didn’t mess it up.” Josie grins, “Want to try again?”_

_Penelope looks back at Josie defiantly, “I’m okay.”_

_Josie lets out an exasperated laugh, “Pen you can’t just pretend you didn’t say something that huge.”_

_“Yes I can.”_

_“I **heard** **it**.”_

_“Heard what?”_

_Josie’s eyes narrow at Penelope. She seems prepared to wait Penelope out, not matter how stubborn she’s capable of being._

_“Fine. Have it your way.” Josie surprises Penelope with the early surrender. She lets out a dramatic sigh, “I mean, it does kind of suck, though.” She says glumly, fingers drumming lightly at Penelope’s collarbone, almost in the pattern of Penelope’s currently pounding heartbeat. “I mean, I had wanted to tell you that I love you tonight. But, obviously, you’re not feeling the same, so…”_

_“You love me?” Penelope thinks if her friends heard her right now – so hopeless and floundering – she’d never live it down._

_Josie shrugs, goes to move off of Penelope’s lap, “I guess it doesn’t mat–”_

_“I love you.” Penelope says, surprising herself with how firm it is, pulling Josie back to her._

_Josie falls back into Penelope’s lap with a laugh, “Sorry, I didn’t hear that.”_

_Penelope groans, bringing Josie’s lips to her own, “Josie Saltzman, I am in love with you.” She declares, “And I’m sorry for messing it up because I’ve literally spent weeks trying to figure out how to tell you but I just couldn’t find the right moment and–”_

_Josie silences her with a kiss, hands cupping Penelope’s face and refusing to release her until they’re both well out of breath._

_Josie’s grinning with they part, thumb pulling at Penelope’s bottom lip lightly, “Hey.”_

_“Hi.”_

_Josie doesn’t need to say it back. Penelope can see it in every look she gives her, every touch. Even in the way she says her name._

_Still, when Josie responds, her heart soars all the same._

_“I love you too, Penelope Park.”_

* * *

When Penelope leaves her in the hallway, it takes a while before Josie gets herself together enough to go back to her room. Although when she walks through the door and finds Lizzie upright on her bed and staring at her with her complete attention, Josie thinks maybe she should have just slept in the hallway for the night.

She ignores Lizzie at first, walking over to her dresser and beginning to pull her hair free from the buns she’s had them in, pretending it’s just another night.

Lizzie breaks the silence soon enough, “So, I guess you’re not over her.”

Josie feels like she’s been hit by a truck – doesn’t even have the energy to be bothered by the fact that Lizzie apparently heard everything out in the hallway, “Clearly you weren’t eavesdropping well enough. I told her I hated her, didn’t I?” she bites out, tone almost taunting, dripping with bitterness, “That should’ve made you happy.”

Lizzie doesn’t take the bait, watching as Josie unravels her hair from its confines, lingering near the dresser afterwards, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Come on, Jo. You just had a screaming match with your ex in the hallway. That’s kind of worth talking about.”

Josie huffs, turning to face Lizzie, “Why? You’re just going to tell me she’s not worth it. Or, if I’m lucky, tell me I’m an idiot for still being hung up on her.”

“So you _are_ hung up on her.”

Josie’s eyes narrow at Lizzie, “I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Because it’s my fault?”

“Don’t put words into my mouth.”

“From what I heard out there, it sounded like that was kind of the deal.” Lizzie says, “Jo, come on. Just talk to me.”

“ _Why_? You hate her. Why would you want to talk about it?”

“Because I love _you_.” Lizzie argues, “And if you’re upset, I want to be there for you.”

“Maybe I don’t need your version of ‘being there’ for me. I don’t need you to tell me Penelope’s a bitch or that I’m better than this or any of that. That’s not what I need, Lizzie.”

“Then tell me what you need! Don’t shut me out because of _Penelope_. Don’t you think she’s done enough to us-”

“ _Lizzie_ , drop it!” Josie explodes, and for the first time in their lives, her sister actually comes to a pause, “I can’t do this right now! _Yes_ , I’m upset, okay? I’m upset because I’m in love with a girl who I can’t be in a room with without us trying to hurt each other! And I just want to be upset without having to cater to _your_ feelings and make you feel okay about it!”

“Cater to my feelings? What are you even talking about?”

Josie can see Lizzie’s getting close to her own breaking point. It’s almost instinct for her to take a breath, gather herself and shelve her own feelings in favor of keeping Lizzie calm. This time, though, it’s harder to do.

“Forget it.” Josie shakes her head, “I’m going to sleep somewhere else tonight.”

“What do you mean, ‘cater to my feelings’, Josie?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Lizzie steps in front of the door, eyeing Josie defiantly, “Just say it.”

Josie knows she shouldn’t say anything – she’s supposed to be the bigger person here. Supposed to show restraint where Lizzie doesn’t. But she’s angry. At Penelope, at herself… at Lizzie. And maybe she’s tired of being the calm to Lizzie’s storm. Maybe just this once she wants to be the one to say what’s on her mind without thinking of the consequences.

“I mean, that I can’t talk to you about Penelope, because then I’d have to tell you about how she left me because she thinks I put you before myself. To the point where it’s hurting me.” Josie says, “And then I’d have to tell that it’s not true, and that she’s wrong.”

She steps closer, voice wavering from simply how foreign it feels to face her sister like this, “But the truth is, Lizzie… right now all I can think about is that all I’ve wanted for so long is this one girl. And the only reason I don’t have her is because of you.”

Lizzie doesn’t say anything. Josie doesn’t wait for anything, either. She simply pushes past Lizzie to the open door, and for what might be the first time, she leaves Lizzie to pick up her own pieces.

* * *

Josie wakes the next morning in an unfamiliar bed. The space next to her is empty, and Josie has a mild moment of panic before she remembers the night before, opening her eyes to be greeted with a Mikaelson family photo on the bedside table.

“Morning, drama queen.”

Josie groans, sitting up in the bed and looking to where Hope stands, in workout gear and sweat-covered, her shower caddy tucked under her arm, “What time is it?”

“Early. I train before breakfast.”

Josie rolls her eyes, falling heavily back to the bed, “Of course you do.”

“How’d you sleep?”

Josie’s not even sure if she _did_ sleep – her body certainly doesn’t think it has.

Hope takes her silence as answer enough, chuckling, “That good, huh?” she moves over to Josie, sitting down at the end of the bed, “So, do you want to talk about why you showed up crying last night? Or should I just get used to that?”

“I told you.” Josie mumbles, staring up at the ceiling stubbornly.

“Partially. It was kind of hard to decipher through the crying.” Hope’s hand falls to pat Josie’s leg, “What I _got_ from it was that you had another fight with Penelope. You still love Penelope – called it, by the way. And you kind of told Lizzie to shove it?”

“I didn’t say I still love her.”

“It was implied.”

Josie huffs, rolling over onto her stomach so she can hide her shame in the pillow, “Can I just disappear?”

“I know a few cloaking spells, if it comes to that.”

“I can’t stand her.” Josie’s says, voice muffled by the pillow, “She’s the one who ended it. She doesn’t get to act like I’m the one who hurt _her_.”

“Penelope?” Hope guesses.

Josie grunts in confirmation.

“Well, maybe you _did_ hurt her. Obviously she still cares about you, Josie. Otherwise she wouldn’t be wasting all this energy arguing with you every day.” Hope shrugs when Josie turns her head to peer up at her, “I doubt she just broke up with you because she wanted to hurt you.”

“But she didn’t even give us a chance. She could have come to me about everything. Instead she just ended it and shut me out.”

Hope scoffs, eyes widening at the sharp glare Josie sends her in response, “ _Sorry_ , it’s just– in what world have you ever listened to anyone when it comes to Lizzie? Even I’ve tried to tell you that you guys have a bit of a co-dependency issue and you’ve shot me down.”

“We’re twins! It’s normal!”

Hope looks at her pointedly, “See? It’s literally like talking to a brick wall when it comes to Lizzie.”

Josie glares at Hope, but she can’t find any more arguments to offer, given that it’s getting harder to ignore the fact that maybe she does have a bit of a problem when it comes to Lizzie.

“I told Lizzie it was her fault that I’m not with Penelope.” She admits weakly.

“Yeah. I don’t know about _that_ take.”

“But you just said–”

“I know what I said. It’s just not really _Lizzie’s_ fault that you put her before yourself. I know she encourages it, but… it wouldn’t happen if you didn’t let it.”

Josie’s pout deepens, her stomach twisted in knots, “Just leave me here to die, please.”

Hope laughs, getting off the bed, “You have until I get back to the shower to wrap your head around things. Then you’re going to breakfast and facing the world like a big girl.”

* * *

If someone had told Penelope mere months ago that she would one day be spending more time with Lizzie than with her Saltzman of choice, she probably would have laughed, and then proceeded to hex them for saying such a thing. But here she is, in her third hour spent with Lizzie _today._

Penelope hadn’t planned on seeing Lizzie – not after her encounter with Josie last night. But Lizzie had cornered her after class demanding they keep plotting a way to get rid of the mistletoe, and after a rough day of avoiding Josie at every opportunity, focusing her energy instead on making sure she never has to see Josie kiss Hope again sounded like a worthy distraction.

Although, Penelope’s not sure much is capable of distracting her. She’s barely even insulted Lizzie _once_ in the time that they’ve spent together this afternoon.

They’re stationed in one of the empty classrooms, using the doorway to test the latest spell of choice as they tweak it. Well, as _Lizzie_ tweaks it. Penelope’s spent most of the past hour offering half-hearted ideas as she sits up on a desk and wishes for this stupid holiday to just pass her by already.

“I’d think you’d be more interested in actually figuring this out, you know.”

Penelope looks up from her phone, training an unimpressed gaze on Lizzie, “Perhaps I’ve just resigned myself to the fact that you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Well if you know so much, why haven’t you solved the problem for us already?”

Penelope’s jaw tightens, but she obliges Lizzie, turning her attention to the spell scribbled down in Lizzie’s notebook. Their latest attempt is to work backwards from Penelope’s original spell and figure out the differences in the new mistletoe. “You got the second incantation wrong.”

“No, I didn’t.”                                

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you cast the first mistletoe spell, or did I?”

“It doesn’t take a genius to know how to enchant some mistletoe.”

“And yet it takes one to undo it.” People smiles tightly, swiping up the pen next to the book and correcting the error of concern. Lizzie walks over, looking down at the updated incantation before returning to the doorway.

Penelope doesn’t hear Lizzie attempt the incantation, though, and she feels her stare from across the room.

“If the mistletoe shows up while you’re under there, I’m not kissing you.” Penelope drawls.

“What’s going on with you and Josie?”

Penelope pauses, almost definite this is a trap, “… nothing, as far as I’m aware.”

“I heard you two last night.”

“Eavesdropping. Why am I not surprised?”

“If you don’t want people to know your business, maybe don’t scream it for the world in the hallway.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

“She’s devastated.” Amongst the disapproval Penelope hears in Lizzie’s voice, the worry for Josie prevails. “She wouldn’t talk to me about it, but I could see how upset she was.”

“And… what? You want to scold me for it?”

“No. I just want to know what the hell is going on with you two.”

“Like I said, nothing.”

“You broke up. Why can’t you just leave each other alone?”   

Penelope scoffs, not sure _where_ Lizzie got the idea that this is the kind of conversation that Penelope would _ever_ be willing to have with her.

“She said you ended it because of me.” Lizzie continues, “But you hate me, so surely dating Josie would have been the best revenge you could get.”

Penelope laughs, deep and bitter, “You have a serious fucking ego problem. I didn’t date Josie to annoy you.”

“That’s not… I just meant, I don’t get why you would break up with her because of _me_.”

“Can’t you talk to Josie about this?” Penelope’s patience is wearing thin, and Lizzie’s incessant talking only serves to double the headache she’s already harboring thanks to being up all night. “Aren’t you guys supposed to share everything?”

“Not this.” Lizzie looks a bit dejected, “She never… she never actually talked about your breakup. She just came back to our room upset one day and shut down. She never told me what happened.”

“Of course, she didn’t.” Penelope rolls her eyes. It’s just _so_ Josie.

“What?”

“Oh, no, it’s just, even our break-up couldn’t be about her.” Penelope looks at Lizzie – how she can be _so_ willingly oblivious to Josie’s own feelings astounds her. “You’re her _sister_ , Lizzie. You should have been the one she went to when it ended. But instead she just dealt with it alone so you wouldn’t feel bad for the part you played in it.”

Lizzie takes a moment, wearing that troubled expression that Penelope’s has seen demand Josie’s attention too many times.

“You really care about her.” There’s no malice to her tone, but the way Lizzie says it feels so weighed down with their shared history that it prickles at Penelope’s composure in a way she despises.

“Forget it.” Penelope says suddenly, hopping down from the desk and collecting her things. She’s not sure why she thought this was a good idea. Why she thought Lizzie could ever be the solution to any of her problems.

“What about the mistletoe?” Lizzie says as Penelope brushes past her.

Penelope shrugs, pretends the thought of another moment of seeing Hope and Josie together doesn’t kill her, “It’s like five days until it’s gone.” She says, “If you ask me, that beats pretending either of us gives a shit about understanding each other.”

* * *

Days pass and classes end, and before Josie knows it, the Christmas dance to mark the close of the term arrives.

Josie has barely seen Penelope – she thinks they’ve shared equal effort in avoiding one another, given the amount of times they’ve both made a quick exit upon finding themselves in the same room. The mistletoe has stuck around, and Hope has continued to entertain their agreement when Josie finds herself stuck under the enchanted plant. Josie tries to ignore the part of her that hopes to see Penelope whenever it appears; she’s convinced she must be mad, to still wish for such a thing after the chaos of the past month.

Josie and Lizzie don’t speak much for a few days. Lizzie doesn’t really seem to be ignoring Josie – more like anxiously waiting for Josie to decide she’s ready for them to speak again. Which is refreshing, considering Lizzie usually just bulldozes her way back into Josie’s life without a care for whatever feelings that might linger.

When they do finally break the awkwardness between them, it’s the day before the Christmas dance. Lizzie is trying on dresses while Josie reads, and Josie can feel the nerves emanating off of her sister as she stomps between the closet and the mirror.

When Lizzie ends up in a soft lilac number, lingering in front of the mirror worriedly, Josie decides it’s time to offer an olive branch.

“That one.”

Lizzie meets Josie’s gaze in the mirror, eyes widening in surprise, “… it’s not too over the top?”

“MG will love it.”

The bashful smile that pulls at Lizzie’s lips at the mention of the MG makes Josie break into a soft smile of her own. It’s nice, to see Lizzie happy with someone.

_“I’m–”_

_“sorry.”_

The twins pause after their rushed apologies come out together.

Relief washes over Lizzie’s features and Josie lets out an anxious laugh, “I’m sorry.” She repeats.

Lizzie turns to walk over to Josie’s bed, leaning down to embrace her sister, holding her tight, “Me too.”

They don’t need to speak about it. Josie can sense how the guilt Lizzie feels from simply being around her – knows for Lizzie, it’s the same. And honestly? She’s not sure what she’d even say if they did talk about it. She’s not really sure of anything at the moment.

“You really think this dress is okay?” Lizzie asks when they separate, teary-eyed and self-conscious.

“Lizzie you could wear a paper bag and MG would love it.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know. I’m nervous.” Lizzie makes a face, “Since when does _MG_ make me nervous?”

“Since you _like_ him.” Josie grins, poking at her sister’s side.

Lizzie’s face reddens, “Shut up.” She say, “Who’re you taking to the dance?”

Josie pauses at the question – unsure whether Lizzie really thought about whether it was a smart thing to ask, given they _just_ reconciled.

“Um…” Josie runs a hand through her hair, attempts to appear composed, “Well, Hope and I thought it would be fun to go together.”

Anger flashes across Lizzie’s features, almost as though just Hope’s name manages to trigger it – Josie’s not sure it doesn’t.

“Josie–”

“No.” Josie raises her hand to stop Lizzie before she can ruin their new peace, “Don’t even… just _no_ , Lizzie.”

Lizzie closes her mouth, looking like it’s taking everything in her not to start yelling at Josie.

“I get you have issues with her.” She says, “We both have history with Hope. If you don’t want to move past that, I understand.” Josie’s firm as she says it, “But I do. And you’re just going to have to deal with that.”

It feels freeing, standing for something against Lizzie. For once being the one to refuse to budge in her terms. Lizzie looks as surprised by it as Josie feels. She takes a moment, clearly fighting her every instinct to argue Josie.

“So… is this a permanent thing?” she says eventually.

Josie shrugs, allows herself a soft smile, “I think so.”

* * *

This time round, on the night of the dance, Lizzie and Josie get ready together.

The halls of the dorms are filled excited with chatter from every room as students prepare, no doubt anticipating the vacation on the horizon. This year people seem more excited for the dance – in the past, it’s been treated more as a simple stepping stone to get to the after-party at the old mill. Lizzie says it’s because of the mistletoe and the all of the new relationships that have sprouted from it, which seems about right. Josie tries not to think about the fact that at the last Christmas dance, she’d looked much like Lizzie does now. Love-struck and filled with nerves for a night spent arm-in-arm with someone she loved.

At least Josie’s not stuck going alone, tonight. For all the heartbreak of late, she figures it can’t be worse than the last dance she tried to attend. There should be a lot less cases of being buried alive, anyway.

MG arrives to collect Lizzie, and the pair leave together after Josie basically forces them out of the door with the promise that she’ll be right behind them. She’s only waiting for Hope for a few minutes before a soft knock taps at her door.

Although it’s not Hope who stands in the doorway.

“Hey, Jojo.”

Josie quite literally feels her heart jump in her chest at Penelope’s voice, and it doesn’t get any better when she turns to look at her. Penelope wears a deep emerald dress that flows down her body, a peak of her thigh showing through the split at her legs. Josie could fill endless books with musings about those thighs alone.

It’s reminiscent of the night of her birthday, only this time, Penelope looks less sure of herself as she stands there, a glimmer of what Josie might call nervousness on her features. Penelope looks at her, eyes so yielding, smile so soft – Josie doesn’t know how this same girl can be capable of going so cold.

She manages to tear her eyes from Penelope, makes her way to her vanity, “I’m really not in the mood for a psychoanalysis of my relationship with Lizzie, tonight, so…”

“I’m not here to give one.”

Josie watches with apprehension as Penelope steps into the room, “Then why are you here?”

Penelope shrugs, continuing into the space, “You know, I remember last year’s Christmas dance like it happened yesterday.” She says, coming to a stop in front of Josie. She fiddles with her hands anxiously in front of her – which only serves to make Josie feel even more unsettled. “You smiled all night, even with Lizzie looking ready to murder us every time you kissed me. It was… ” Penelope’s smile is sad, “Well, you know.”

Josie doesn’t know what to say. Of course she remembers. It’s only been the one thing running through her brain since she was reminded of this stupid dance. She doesn’t see why Penelope has to twist the blade embedded in her heart by revisiting the memory.

Josie swallows the lump in her throat, only barely manages a response, “That doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

Penelope lets out a shaky breath, stepping closer. She barely resembles her usually collected self as she looks down to Josie’s hands, reaching to take them in her own. The warmth of her touch spreads through Josie’s entire being.

“Maybe I miss it.” Penelope shrugs, “I just… I was about to go to this thing solo but then I got to thinking about all of that and… I thought, maybe if you didn’t have an escort… we could go together. For nostalgia’s sake. Table everything that’s been going on and just… be us for a night.”

Josie can’t count the amount of times she’s wished for something like this. For a chance to put everything on pause and just feel what it’s like to be with Penelope again. She’s not sure how she’s supposed to come back from it, though.

“Just one night, Josie.”

How Penelope can go from avoiding Josie at every opportunity to feeling like she has a place to make such an offer, Josie will never understand. Usually, this unpredictability of Penelope infuriates her. Right now, she just wants to take the offer and run with it.

“Hey! Are you–”

Josie’s eyes widen at Hope’s voice, she sees Penelope’s mouth drop open slightly – witnesses as her brow furrows, understanding washes over her, and Penelope’s expression transforms into cold, hard resentment.

“… ready?” Hope stands awkwardly in the doorway, looking between Josie and Penelope with a face that says she knows she just walked in at a bad time. “I’m sorry. I’ll- uh… I’ll wait–”

“No.” Penelope’s says, her eyes remaining on Josie’s for what feels like an eternity, “It’s fine.”

She pulls her hands free from Josie’s, as though coming out of a daze she had no business being in.

“Penelope–”

“I’ll see you at the dance.” Penelope offers Josie a half-hearted smile, and then she’s turning on her heel and leaving the room.

And while Penelope was only offering one night, Josie can’t shake the feeling that she just lost a lot more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 1k kudos which is insane so thank you to any of you guys who contributed to that! And just in general anyone who has left comments/interacted with me over on twitter/my CC. It's so much fun hearing from you - and for those that voted in the poll for what flashback they wanted, hopefully it wasn't a let down!
> 
> Anyway this chapter got huge so this is actually really just part 1. So you can expect an update in literally a day or so. The next update is also my favorite part I've written so far so hold on tight, folks!
> 
> In the meantime, let me know what you thought of this one :)
> 
> Twitter: saltzpen


	7. Chapter 7

Penelope doesn’t know how she let herself get so blindsided by Hope Mikaelson. How after watching Josie spend the past _month_ kissing the damn tribrid, it never clicked that this might actually be a thing that sticks. She truly was an idiot to think that once the mistletoe ceased to be an issue, so would Hope Mikaelson. Seriously. If anyone should know better, it’s Penelope. She’s experienced first-hand how easy it is to fall for Josie.

Every minute of this dance has felt like a year on Penelope’s life, watching as Josie spends it at Hope’s side. She doesn’t feel the usual jealousy or anger at the sight of them together – she wishes that were still the case. Now all she feels is defeated.

Penelope has attempted to keep herself preoccupied for the most part. She’s helped Jed spike the punch and she’s gossiped with her friends like it’s just any other dance. But when the act grows tired, she finds herself outside on the balcony, placing herself so she can still see Josie – because apparently, she’s a masochist now. MG eventually comes out to find her, and Penelope at least feels a little bit of comfort when he sidles up next to her.

“Penelope Park sitting out on a party?” MG says, shoulder bumping Penelope’s teasingly, “Now I _know_ something must be up.”

“I wouldn’t call a supervised dance with music approved by Mr. Saltzman much of a ‘party’.” Penelope says dryly.

“Oh, come on, Peez. You loved it last–” MG pauses, and Penelope can literally see it click in his brain, “Oh. Right.”

“Hm.” Penelope nods, letting her eyes find Josie back in the hall.

MG hovers there, like he’s unsure how to continue the conversation. Most of their friendship has comprised of Penelope helping him with his love life – rarely the other way around.

“So… are you just going to hang here and be mad all night?”

“I’m not mad.” Penelope says, and she laughs softly at the disbelieving expression MG returns, “Seriously. It’s fine.”

“Okay, well… I’m not really picking up the greatest vibes, so what _are_ you?”

Penelope shrugs unhelpfully, “Nothing.”

“Right.” MG follows Penelope’s gaze, and Penelope thinks she sees him rolls his eyes when he spots Josie, “You know it doesn’t _have_ to be a bad night. You can turn it around.”

“What, you’re giving _me_ love advice now?”

MG grins, “I’d like to think I’m doing okay in that department. Don’t go underestimating this well of knowledge.”

Penelope expels a sigh, “I guess I don’t have anything to lose, do I?” she says, “So, what does Milton Greasley suggest?”

MG’s sheer pleasure to be getting asked such a question almost lightens Penelope’s mood, “You could ask her to dance.”

His naivety garners a soft smile from Penelope. She entertains the idea only for a moment, looking back to where Josie sits with Hope, the pair leant into one another, Josie laughing at something Hope as said. Her smile alone makes Penelope’s heart feel like it’s trying to burst out of her chest. She can’t even remember the last time she was the reason for that smile.

“I think that moment’s passed, MG.”

“What? Come on, Peez.” MG says, “Since when have you given up the game that easy?”

Penelope shrugs, eyes remaining on Josie, “I didn’t walk away for me, you know? I did it for her.”

MG frowns, “You’re… talking about the break-up?”

Penelope nods, “I just thought, if I left it might force some kind of action from her. Force her to look at her relationship with Lizzie and actually see what it does to her.” She says, “And I mean – I wasn’t doing it with the assumption that I’d get to be with her again. It wasn’t about what I wanted.”

“Why does it feel like there’s a ‘but’ to that?”

Penelope rolls her eyes, sighs, “I don’t know. I guess a part of me still kind of thought that when Josie started to go after what she wanted, instead of bending to Lizzie’s every will…” she pauses. It hurts, saying it out loud. Admitting that she left herself this stupidly vulnerable. “Well, I guess I just thought I’d be one of the things she’d go after.”

She hates the way MG is looking at her. All that pity. She doesn’t deserve it. She was the maker of her own heartbreak. She should have been smarter, should have been more prepared for this.

“ _But_ ,” she tries an easy smile, is sure she fails, “I guess if it’s Hope instead, then… that’s good, too. She’s out there with Hope on her arm – something she _never_ would have done before. So, I guess I got what I wanted. She’s taking care of herself.” Penelope shrugs, “If I try to ruin that for her now… I’m no better than Lizzie. She deserves more than that.”  

MG doesn’t say anything to try to make her feel better – something Penelope’s thankful for; she’s not sure she could handle a pep talk right now. Instead, MG just nods, like he understands. And maybe he does. He’s spent long enough in the shadows pining for Lizzie, after all.

“Still hurts though, huh?” is all he offers.

Penelope laughs, empty, tucks her head into the crook of MG’s shoulder, “More than anything.”

* * *

Against her better judgment, when the dance ends and Penelope goes back to her room, she doesn’t stay there. Instead, she changes and accompanies the rest of her peers in sneaking out for the after party at the old mill. Because sitting in her room alone right now seems a lot like torture, and if Penelope is going to be stuck thinking about Josie, she might as well do it with some alcohol in hand.

Unsurprisingly, the after party is spent very similarly to how the dance was. Somehow, Josie has managed to convince Hope to actually socialize with the rest of the students for once, and it’s like watching a damn victory tour as the pair enjoy the party together.

Penelope tries not to stare too much. Honestly. It’s just hard to not want to rip Hope’s arms off every time she sees her so much as touch Josie. Penelope’s going to need to work on that, if she’s supposed to start moving the fuck on now.

It’s awfully convenient that a certain blonde vampire chooses this moment to appear, a hand falling to the small of Penelope’s back, trailing along to squeeze her hip lightly as she places herself right in front of Penelope.

Penelope arches a brow at her frequent partner under the mistletoe, “Cassie.” She greets.

Cassie holds a drink out for Penelope, watching her expectantly, “I’m not the type to chase people, you know.”

Penelope looks down to the offered cup, thinks ‘fuck it’, and accepts it, “Really?” she says, “Aren’t vampires supposed to be predators?”

Cassie’s smile widens, “Fair point.” She says, “Still, I can’t help but feel a little bit offended, Penelope Park. You spend all month kissing me under the mistletoe and yet you refuse to make an actual move? A normal girl might take it to heart.”

“And what makes you think you were anything more than convenient?” Penelope offers Cassie a cruel smile – feels that little bit better feeding that thing inside of her that just begs to release her own hurt on anyone else available. Cassie only looks amused by the retort – wears the expression of someone who knows she’s speaking to one of her own.  

Maybe this is why it won’t work out with Josie. Perhaps Penelope belongs with people like Cassie; she always was better as the villain, after all. Perhaps Josie was always going to be just too good for her, in the end.

“Oh, I’m fine being a convenience.” Cassie’s eyes unashamedly rake over Penelope’s body and she steps closer, her front pressed against Penelope’s, “I’d just hate to see you tap out before we even got to the fun part.”

Penelope lets out a taunting laugh, but it drifts off when she finds Josie’s gaze across the party. It’s like time stands still for the moment that their eyes meet, Josie watching Penelope over Hope’s shoulder.

“Perhaps I found you underwhelming.” Penelope says, just a little lost to those big brown eyes across the party.

Cassie’s laugh pulls Penelope’s attention back to her, “Now I _know_ you’re lying.” She looks over her shoulder, and when she turns back to Penelope, her smile is wicked, “Oh, I see. You’re still stuck chasing little miss perfect.”

Penelope’s composure falters for a moment, “Don’t embarrass yourself, Cassie. No one likes a girl who can’t take rejection.”

“See, I knew you were trying to upset her all those times you flaunted me about.” Cassie tilts her head, looking like a child gleefully discovering a new toy, “But you _actually_ still have feelings for her, don’t you?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“What _is_ it about you and the headmaster’s daughter?” Cassie grins at the glare Penelope has trained on her, “Well. I guess it doesn’t matter, anyway. She seems to be happily moving on with the tribrid.”

Penelope feels Cassie’s hand settle at her waist, fingers toying with the bottom of Penelope’s shirt, brushing along the skin beneath.

“Now if you feel like playing nice, I’d be happy to help get you over the little witch.” Cassie practically purrs in her ear. She steps back then, looking Penelope up and down one final time, a smirk on her lips, “If you haven’t lost your edge, that is.”

* * *

Penelope shoves Cassie up against a tree somewhere between school and the old mill. She brings their lips together in a bruising kiss, forcing every thought of Josie out of her mind, relishing in the opportunity to find some form of freedom from her in Cassie.

She just wants to feel something _other_ than hurt. Just wants to forget about Josie and how it feels seeing her happy with Hope, how utterly pathetic she is, to have achieved her goal and still somehow ended up miserable. To have cared so much about someone else in the first place.

“Do you still love her?” Cassie breathes out, clearly enjoying every minute of Penelope’s loss of composure.

Penelope presses Cassie just a little bit harder against the tree, emitting a soft gasp from the girl, “I ended it.” She hisses out, kissing her again just to shut her up.

Cassie grins into the kiss, “And yet you’re still so _angry._ ”

Penelope bites down hard on Cassie’s lip, and when Cassie pulls back in surprise, lifting a hand to wipe the small speck of blood that leaked from the already-healed wound, her expression darkens. Blood rushes to the veins surrounding her eyes, and Penelope catches a glimpse of the fangs protruding from the vampire’s mouth before Cassie pulls her in and kisses her again. She’s more forceful now, pulling and pushing at Penelope. Just what Penelope wants. Needs.

Penelope is barely subtle as she tugs at Cassie’s hair, breaking their kiss and tilting her head to offer her neck to the girl. Cassie pulls back, dark eyes staring at her neck hungrily.

“What?” Penelope pants out as Cassie wavers at the silent offer, irritated by the show of uncertainty, “Don’t get boring on me now, Cassie.”

That seems to do it, and Cassie pulls Penelope back to her, hands threading through her hair, holding her in place as she brings her teeth to Penelope’s neck. Penelope winces as she feels Cassie’s fangs pierce her skin, a sharp cry escaping her as her grip tightens on the vampire.

The pain comes first, then the adrenaline and the faintness as she loses blood. Along with all of it, comes relief – to not be able to feel anything else. To not have Josie on her mind, on her heart. Tears prickle at Penelope’s eyes, but she doesn’t pull Cassie off of her, let’s her take as much as she wants. When Cassie pulls away, Penelope feels her warm blood dripping down her neck, a searing pain from the wound left behind.

Cassie kisses her once, then pulls back, lifting her own hand to her mouth and biting into the flesh of her wrist. Before she can offer her blood to Penelope to heal her, a familiar voice rings through the woods.

“I’m _fine_ , Hope!”

Penelope jolts away at the sound of Josie.

“No, you’re not.” Another voice says, and Penelope recognizes it as Hope’s, “You’re drunk off your ass.”

“It’s a party. I’m allowed to drink.”

“You’re right. And now we’re going back to the dorms before you pass out and end up having to sleep at the old mill.” Hope sounds mildly annoyed, and her bickering with Josie continues to grow louder until they appear through the trees a few feet from Penelope and Cassie.

Hope has Josie’s arm slung over her shoulder, her own arm around Josie’s waist. Josie wears an adorably dopey smile as she lazily walks with Hope. Although the smile vanishes the moment she notices Penelope and Cassie.

The air immediately grows thick between them, Josie’s glazed over eyes looking between Penelope and Cassie in what would be a comical amount of times, if the circumstances were slightly different.

Then, Josie laughs. Loud and almost maniacal, “How awkward.”

Her words are slurred, and Penelope turns a glare to Hope, “How much has she had to drink?”

“Who cares?” Cassie sighs, coming to stand next to Penelope. Her thumb wipes the remnants of Penelope’s blood that sits on her lips. Penelope sees Hope immediately put two-and-two together, her eyes narrowing as she looks between them, but Josie remains oblivious.

“How much has _she_ had to drink?” Hope responds, nodding to Cassie.

“Why, want to join in?”

“Shut up, Cassie.” Penelope bites out.

Cassie scoffs, looks at Penelope in disbelief. When Penelope ignores her, she mutters what is probably a string of insults before taking her leave, shoving past Hope and Josie as she goes.

“Oh, _no_ , the fuck buddy’s leaving.” Josie watches Cassie leave with what might be the most poisonous stare Penelope has ever seen her wear. A moment later she’s burying her head in the crook of Hope’s neck, a pained groan leaving her mouth. “Everything’s spinning.”

“ _Hope_.” Penelope bites out, “How much?”

“Well obviously too much. What do _you_ think?” Hope snaps back at her, “And clearly, I’m taking her back to the dorms so you can quit with the judgment.”

Penelope’s jaw tightens. She knows it’s not her place anymore – Hope should be the one to take care of Josie. But despite that, she can’t ignore the part of her that needs to confirm that Josie’s okay herself.

“I’ll help.” She says, walking over to the pair.

Josie makes an unintelligible sound.

“I have her.” Hope says.

“Just let me help, Mikaelson.” Penelope sneers, “I’ll let you take the credit as the white knight tomorrow, don’t worry.”

Hope gives her a puzzled look, but she doesn’t fight when Penelope moves to Josie’s other side, slinging her arm over her shoulders.

“Nice hickey. Real classy.” Hope comments as they start to walk, “Don’t let Alaric see that.”

Josie’s head snaps up, almost knocking Hope and Penelope out in the process. Unfocused eyes drift over Penelope’s features, eventually zeroing in on the bloody bite mark at Penelope’s neck. Her lips curl with disgust, “You let her _feed on you_?!”

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” Penelope hisses over to Hope.

“Have fun trying.”

“ _Really_?” Josie continues, “Why?!”

Penelope winces as Josie’s voice carries through the woods, “Okay, you need to be quiet unless you want your dad to find you like this.”

“She could have killed you!”

“Bit dramatic.” Penelope drawls, having to push Josie forward a little bit to prompt her to keep walking.

“Dramatic? She’s a _vampire_.”

“It was a bit of fun; it’s not a big deal.”

“No, Josie’s right. You’re an idiot.” Hope says.

“ _Josie’s_ too drunk to sleep with you tonight, Mikaelson, so the ass kissing isn’t really necessary.”

Hope gawks at her, “ _What?_ ”

“Honestly how’d she even get this drunk? Are you that boring a date?”  

Hope and Penelope are too preoccupied with their bickering to notice the lights that shine across the courtyard – an intentional move on Alaric’s part when he wishes to catch his students sneaking their way back into the building. It’s Josie who brings them to an abrupt stop when they get to the edge of the woods, hands slapping over Hope and Penelope’s mouths to shut them up.

“Dad.” She says, only slightly theatrical.

Penelope and Hope have to physically move Josie’s hands from their mouths, the pair sparing final glares for one another before facing their latest obstacle.

“I’ll distract him.” Hope says, “You get Josie upstairs.”

Penelope doesn’t like being ordered around, much less by _Hope_. “Not that I care, but you’re not supposed to be out, either.”

“It’s fine.”

“ _Hope_ ’s allowed to wolf-out in the woods whenever she wants.” Josie slurs, “She’s special.”

“That’s one word for it.” Penelope mutters unhappily.

“Just give me a few minutes and then go through the kitchens.” Hope turns to Josie, hands moving to cup her face, demanding her attention, “Focus, Josie. You need to be quiet, okay?”

Penelope watches the exchange with utter repulsion, heart aching at how Josie seems so unphased by the contact, wondering just when things shifted beyond the mistletoe with them.

“It’s _my_ house.” Josie huffs, “I’ll do what I want.”

“No, you’ll be quiet so your dad doesn’t hear you and kill us all.” Hope says firmly.

Josie glares back at her, but Hope must be satisfied enough with the response, dropping her hands from her face and looking to Penelope, “I hope you’re a good babysitter.”

“Hey!” Josie pouts, but Hope is already walking into the clearing. She turns to Penelope, brow furrowing, “So… first MG, and now Vampire Barbie. Do you _want_ to die?””

Penelope thinks she should have just stayed behind after all, “Right now?” she grumbles, turning to watch as Hope crosses the courtyard, “Definitely.”

“It’s not _funny_ , Penelope.” Josie says, “Why would you even–” she lets out a gasp, stands up straight and stares at Penelope with a look of absolute horror on her face.

“Oh my god, what now?”

Josie leans in conspiratorially, like she’s just discovered the damn secrets to the universe, “…is it a _kink_?”

Penelope gapes at her – wishes the ground would just swallow her whole and put her out of her misery, “A– _what?_ No, it’s not–”

“Is that why you broke up with me? Because I’m not a vampire and you have a feeding kink?”

“Wow. You’re really–” Penelope refrains from screaming in frustration, “Sure, Josie, that’s exactly why I broke up with you.”

The dry response just receives a glare from Josie, “You could have died.”

“You’ve already said that.”

“I hate you.”

Penelope rolls her eyes, looks back to the school, “Don’t I fucking know it.”

* * *

It’s a torturously long journey to Josie’s room, thanks to Josie’s deciding that Penelope is the enemy and refusing to keep walking with her every other minute. Penelope’s amazed that by the end of it, her feelings for Josie haven’t completely ceased to exist from the pure frustration of the ordeal. Then again, that didn’t happen when the girl literally set her on fire, either.

When they do reach Josie’s room, at least, Josie has calmed down considerably, the alcohol starting to get the better of her. She hangs off of Penelope’s shoulder as Penelope wrestles the door open, and once they’re inside she stumbles her way over to her bed.

Penelope sneaks back down to the kitchen to retrieve some water for Josie, and when she returns, Josie’s still fully clothed, legs hanging off the side of the bed as she stares up at the ceiling. Penelope stands there for a moment, considers just leaving. But then Josie lifts her head to peer over at Penelope – and well, in what world has Penelope ever been able to refrain from helping the girl?

“Alright.” Penelope sighs in defeat, walking over to Josie and placing the water on her bedside table. She crouches down at Josie’s feet, beginning to work on getting her shoes off.

“Am I a bad drunk?” Josie ponders, stretching her legs out obediently for Penelope as she tugs the first shoe off.

Penelope laughs, “You have your moments.”

“Is this a moment?”

“It’s definitely something.” Penelope manages to get the second shoe untied, pulling it off and standing up again. She moves over to Josie’s dresser, remembering the right draw on her first attempt and retrieving a set of pyjamas. When she returns, Josie is resting back on her elbows, watching Penelope quietly.

“Do you hate me?”

The question catches Penelope off guard, “Have I ever said I do?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

Josie frowns, a soft pout to her lips, “I don’t… mean it, when I say it to you. I don’t hate you.”

Penelope arches a brow, tries not to let it show how much the admission actually comforts her, and holds the pyjamas out for Josie, “I know.”

Josie sighs, accepting the clothes, meeting Penelope’s gaze and making the room feel ten times smaller.

Penelope only lingers for a moment, “Well. You have water, and I’m guessing Hope will check on you when she’s done with your dad, so…” she steps away from Josie, “I’ll… see you later.”

She almost makes it to the door.

“Can you help?” Josie calls after her, making Penelope turn back, “I mean– it’s a playsuit.” She gestures behind her lazily, “It has buttons.”

There’s no veiled flirtation in her request, just drunken vulnerability.

“You don’t want to just wait for Hope?” Penelope sounds like she’s almost begging – which, she kind of is. Really, it’s a cruel request.

“Why?”

Penelope really doesn’t understand how Josie doesn’t get the ‘why’ behind her question, but she gives in at the sight of those big brown eyes hopelessly gazing at her. “Okay, get up.”

Josie hops up from the bed, stumbling as she does so and letting out a giggle that Penelope shouldn’t find adorable. She moves behind Josie, fingers finding the button at the top of the playsuit and undoing it. She hears Josie take a sharp breath when her fingers accidentally brush against bare skin and curses herself for the way her hands tremble slightly as they find the zipper, pulling it down and wondering how the sound makes this even more agonising. She doesn’t dare linger long enough to glance at all the skin bared by the action, stepping away from Josie immediately.

Josie doesn’t seem worried, and Penelope only just manages to turn away before she’s treated to the sight of the whole playsuit falling to the floor. She hears the shuffle of clothing behind her, and then the soft sound of Josie moving back into bed.

“Pen.”

The sound of the nickname on Josie’s lips makes Penelope’s heart clench painfully in her chest. She hears movement again, and then feels Josie’s hand wrapping around her wrist, coaxing her to turn around. Josie sits on the bed still, looking up at her pleadingly.

Penelope swallows the lump in her throat, “Yeah?”

“I don’t wanna be by myself.”

“Hope will come by soon.” Penelope assures her, despite how the bad it tastes leaving her mouth.  

Josie tugs at Penelope’s hand, looking at her pointedly.

“Josie…”

Josie tugs her forward again, shuffling back on her mattress as she does so, “Please?”

Penelope wishes she knew restraint when it comes to Josie, because of course her useless ass allows Josie the pull her onto the bed. She settles down next to her on the mattress, keeping a safe distance between them as she does so, telling herself that the moment Josie starts falling asleep, she’ll leave.

They lie there for a long time, facing one another, neither saying a single word. Penelope can’t manage to look away from Josie, her features softly lit by the moonlight that intrudes on the room. She’s had Josie’s lips on her own plenty of times in the past month; she’s not sure how lying here with her feels so much more intimate.

Josie’s hand closes the space between them after a while, and Penelope winces when her fingers fall near the bitemark on her neck.

There’s a soft furrow to Josie’s brow as she assesses the wound. Her next question is asked so quietly, Penelope’s not sure if she intended it. “Why do we keep doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Hurting each other.”

Penelope’s eyes trace over Josie’s features, and suddenly they feel a million miles away from one another again. “I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

It’s an honest answer. Usually, when it comes to Josie, everything she does is intentional, everything has a point. But tonight had been different. Tonight was about telling herself she could still feel _something_ outside of Josie. It didn’t really matter what in particular she felt.

Josie doesn’t look comforted by the reply, “So you just wanted _her_.”

“No.” Penelope says, “I just… wanted to forget.”

“Forget me?”

“Forget us.” Penelope shrugs, “Me.”

Josie’s pulls her gaze from Penelope’s neck, meeting her eyes. Whatever it is that’s running through her mind, whatever she wants to say, she doesn’t let it out. Instead, she shifts closer. Penelope’s breath hitches as Josie’s hand finds her chest, coaxing her onto her back. Josie moves so she’s almost on top of Penelope, body pressed to her side, one leg resting over her. Penelope can’t speak, just watches Josie silently, enamoured and completely defenceless.

Josie’s hand remains on Penelope’s chest, over her heart, and then Penelope feels that familiar pull of Josie siphoning her, the soft red glow where their skin connects lighting Josie’s features. Penelope frowns, but she doesn’t move away as Josie brings her other hand to hover over the bite on her neck. She mumbles what must be an incantation, and Penelope’s neck begins to sting.

It only lasts a minute, and then the pain of the bite is gone. Penelope reaches up to where the wound had been, feeling nothing but smoothness on the bloodstained skin. She watches Josie curiously as the girl settles back down next to her, notably leaving less distance between them than before.

“When did you learn that?”

Josie shrugs, still visibly bothered by the bite, “Hope.”

The answer sobers Penelope slightly, which is probably a good thing.

Josie’s eyes haven’t left Penelope’s neck, “She should have healed you.”

“She was going to.” An amused smile pulls at Penelope’s lips when Josie’s frown deepens, “And somehow, that’s made you more pissed?”

“Forgive me if the idea of you blood sharing with a vampire doesn’t make me want to throw a party.”

“It’s really not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is.” Josie huffs unhappily, “You’re so stupid. What if she couldn’t stop?”

“She did, though.”

“But what if she _didn’t?_ ” Josie glowers at her, “She’s a vampire, Penelope. And not an old one. How can you be so arrogant to think letting her feed on you wasn’t a ‘big deal’?”

“I think you’re forgetting the part where I’m a witch.”

“Oh, right. Because you’re totally going to be able to cast a spell while your body is being completely drained of blood.”

Okay. She has a bit of a point. On reflection, letting a drunk vampire feed on her might _not_ have been her most shining moment. Penelope struggles to find a response that doesn’t make her sound like an idiot.

“Well. I’m glad my stupidity could help sober you up a bit.” She tries a smirk, but the guilt that has settled uncomfortably in her stomach makes it fall short.

Josie must see the understanding finally registering on Penelope’s features, and her expression softens, “You can’t do that again.” She says, “Ever.”

Penelope gives up on the act, admitting defeat with a nod, “Okay.”

“I’m serious, Pen.”

There’s that nickname again. Penelope hadn’t realized how much she’d missed hearing it.

“I know.” Penelope assures her, holding Josie’s stare, “It won’t happen again.”

Penelope’s suddenly aware how quiet it is in the room as the silence envelops them. She can’t read Josie’s expression – she just knows it makes her uneasy, having her look at her so intently.

Something seems to click in Josie, and then she’s reaching for Penelope, hands burying in her hair and joining their lips in a soft but fierce kiss. Penelope hears her own sharp intake of breath when Josie’s lips leave hers for a moment, offering her the chance pull away. And Penelope should do that.

She really, really should.

But instead, she closes the distance again.

Josie’s bolder now as she kisses her, body pressing eagerly against Penelope’s, tongue dipping into her mouth. Penelope can’t find a moment to breathe as things escalate with every hungry brush of their lips. Josie’s rolling them over in the bed eventually, her leg swinging over Penelope’s hips.

Penelope would usually protest at the dominant move, find a way to get the control back in her own hands, but there’s something about seeing Josie like this. Josie’s hand settles at Penelope’s neck, keeping her pressed firmly into the mattress as she kisses her, lips departing her mouth in favor of trailing across her jaw, down her neck. She pauses for a moment where the bite had been, and then her lips descend on the space.

“ _Shit_ , Josie.” Penelope gasps as she feels Josie’s teeth drag across her skin, the softness of her lips that follow. It’s too overwhelming, Penelope thinks she might just suffocate under Josie’s touch. She sits up slightly, and she wraps her arms around Josie’s waist tight before turning them over, finding some relief in gaining control.

She takes a moment, above Josie, to slow their pace. Leans in and kisses that space beneath Josie’s jaw that releases a breathy whimper from the girl. Trails soft kisses back to Josie’s lips, allowing herself remember when she could take such contact for granted, believing she’d never stop being able to have Josie in this way.

Penelope almost gives herself over to it completely. It would be so, so easy to do it.  

It’s when Josie starts pushing her shirt up, fingers caressing her bare skin beneath, that some semblance of sanity returns to Penelope. The sheer shock her body feels at having that familiar touch finally reunite with her skin is enough to bring her world crashing down.

“We can’t.” she manages reluctantly, going to pull away.

Josie just follows her movement, “We can.” She says, leaning up and bringing their lips together again. Penelope almost lets it happen. It’s certainly the easier option.

“Hope’s coming back.” she warns; and really – where the fuck is Hope? What kind of idiot just leaves the girl they’re dating to be taken care of by her ex?

Josie seems unbothered, “I’ll lock the door.”

Of course, the one time Penelope wouldn’t mind a Lizzie interruption, the girl is nowhere to be seen. She obliges Josie for a moment, kisses her and follows Josie as she falls back to the mattress. She reaches for Josie’s wandering hands, catching her wrists and pinning them down on either side of Josie’s head, managing to find the willpower to break the kiss.

Josie looks up at her with a frown, lips bruised and chest rising and falling heavily.

“You’re drunk.” Penelope says, and like that, the spell between them ceases. Josie looks slightly hurt by the rejection, but she eventually nods, no longer fighting Penelope’s hold. When Penelope’s sure Josie won’t attempt to convince her to change her mind, she releases her hands, sitting back.

“You can still stay.” Josie says, although it doesn’t sound like she quite believes it’s a good idea, either.  

Penelope doesn’t really know what to do now. She knows what she wants – to fall down beside Josie and spend the night with her arms around her, even if that’s all it is. But that’s not her role anymore, and to do that would only be asking for trouble.

“You know I can’t.” she says, and Josie just nods again. Penelope hesitates, and then leans back over to kiss Josie one last time, soft and short. When they separate, she doesn’t linger, climbing off the bed and going to leave.

“Pen?” Josie calls just as Penelope reaches for the handle of the door.

Against her better judgment, Penelope turns. Josie doesn’t say anything to her first, just watches her, hurt and hesitant.

“I don’t want you to forget us.”

Penelope smiles, sad and completely defeated, opening the door behind her, “Good night, Jojo.”

She leaves before she can tell Josie that she doesn’t have anything to worry about – every detail surrounding her is etched into Penelope’s heart. There’s not a world where she doesn’t know what it means to love Josie Saltzman.

She just hopes she doesn’t forget what it’s like to be loved by Josie in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this update so I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! Thanks to everyone who's left feedback - sorry about all the pain. I have a busy couple of days now so idk when the next update will be but hopefully I won't keep you waiting too long :) 
> 
> In the mean time I have a poll going on over @saltzpen on twitter about a future fic, so if you see this in time lmk what you think. See you next time!
> 
> (p.s. penelope has a feeding kink fight me)


	8. Chapter 8

Josie Saltzman is never drinking again.

Not only is it bad enough that she’s harboring quite possibly the headache that will bring about her death, she’s also dealing with the searing memory of pulling Penelope into bed and the rejection that followed.

She’s spent most of the day curled up in bed feeling sorry for herself. It’s been a fairly easy feat, considering the rest of the school is preoccupied with packing for Christmas break, most students leaving for their homes either today or tomorrow. Josie hasn’t seen Lizzie yet – she’s not sure if she even came back to their room last night, given she’ll be having to say goodbye to MG for the next two weeks. Either way, Josie’s happy to not have to deal with Lizzie’s scrutiny right now.

Josie only gets herself out of bed because it’s Hope’s last day before she leaves for New Orleans. When she arrives at her her friend’s door, she receives a look of sympathy.

“You look rough.” Hope says in place of a greeting, watching with thinly veiled amusement as Josie trudges into her room and collapses onto the bed.

“I hate myself.”

Hope laughs, closing the door behind her, “How much do you remember?”

“Everything.” Josie rolls over onto her stomach, watching as Hope returns to her packing, “I think. Considering what I remember, I’m happy to leave any blackspots a mystery.”

“At least Penelope helped? That counts for something, right?” Hope says, “Or are you back to pretending you’re not still painfully in love with her?”

Josie goes quiet, cheeks reddening at the mention of her ex-girlfriend. She avoids Hope’s eyes when she turns to look at Josie.

“Josie?” Hope prods.

Josie sighs, burying her face in Hope’s pillow for a moment. She doesn’t manage to disappear, though, and when she looks back up, Hope is still waiting for an answer. “Um- well… you know how you let her take me to my room alone?”

“Yes.”

“I might have… tried to sleep with her?” Josie’s voice is slightly higher than normal, and the knot in her stomach tightens as the memory of last night hits her all over again.

Maybe she should just transfer to Mystic Falls High; she doesn’t need to learn about her powers, anyway. Yeah, transferring seems a lot more appealing than facing Penelope after last night. Although, Penelope _did_ kiss her back. And she’d asked to escort Josie to the dance. Perhaps it’s not as bad as Josie thinks.

(She still has no intention of facing it anytime soon, though).

Hope stops packing, “You _what_?”

Josie whines dramatically, sitting up, “I was really drunk, okay? And she was being so… _Penelope_.”

“Okay, you and I’s understanding of ‘Penelope’ is very different.”

“She was just being all soft and looking out for me. Like she used to.” Josie elaborates, “It was… I don’t know – it was confusing, okay? And she got into the bed with me and I siphoned her to heal the vampire bite and that was… _intense_. And I guess after that I just… wanted to kiss her.”

“So… she lets a vampire _feed on her_ and you decide to reward her with sex?”

“It wasn’t a reward!” Josie balks, “I told her she was an idiot for that.”

“Yeah well I doubt your actions convinced her to not do it again.” Hope rolls her eyes, “I can’t believe she’d hit on you while you were that drunk.”

“She didn’t.”

“You said she got into your bed.”

Josie’s cheeks somehow manage to grow redder, “Well… yeah. After I kind of made her.” She mumbles, “And she’s the one who stopped it from going further. We just made out and then she rejected me and left.”

“I can’t keep up with you.” Hope rolls her eyes, “For two people who constantly argue about how ‘over’ things are between you, you really don’t seem to be that committed to the idea.” 

“It’s complicated.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Hope returns to her packing, pulling some clothes out of her closet, “So, do you regret it?”

Considering Josie would probably do it again if she got the chance, she doesn’t think ‘yes’ is an appropriate answer.

“I’m not sure yet.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Yes, it is.”

Hope sighs, and Josie wonders just how tired she is of her by now. “Well, at least you have all break to figure it out, I guess.”

“Unlikely.” Josie says, “Penelope never goes home for Christmas.”

“Oh?” Hope arches a brow, “So you’re going to be stuck in an empty school with your ex. That’ll be… interesting.”

“Mmhmm.”

“You could always come with me instead.” Hope shrugs, “My Aunt Freya and her wife would love you.”

Josie almost takes her up on the offer – avoiding her problems _and_ getting to spend Christmas with one of the oldest witches in the world? Not exactly a terrible alternative.

“… no.” she decides after some genuine consideration, “My mom’s coming home. And Lizzie would kill me if I wasn’t here for Christmas.”

“Does she know what happened yet?”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

Hope sends Josie a stern look for the snark, “Well I doubt you can keep it hidden from her for very long.”

“Try me.” Josie huffs, “I just don’t want to deal with what she has to say about it yet. She’s struggling enough accepting that you and I are close, and I mean – at least she’s _trying_. I feel like talking to her about Penelope would just be pushing it.”

“You know… I won’t pretend to get what is going on with you and Penelope.” Hope says, “But you’re going to have to eventually make some kind of decision, Josie. Even if it means someone gets hurt. Otherwise it’s just going to bury you.”

Josie knows Hope’s right – can already feel it happening, “What do you think I should do?”

“I think you should stop asking questions like _that_ , and start making the decisions that you think are right for you.”

* * *

When Josie leaves Hope’s room, she does so with the intention of going back to her room and avoiding all forms of drama for the rest of the day – figuring that she should at least rid herself of this hangover before she deals with the trail of destruction left in her path.

Of course, that plan goes downhill due to the fact that she has to pass Penelope’s room to do so, and like she has some ‘Josie-radar’, Penelope is stepping out of the room mere moments after Josie leaves Hope’s.

Josie comes to a halt the moment she spots Penelope, and then cold fury settles in her stomach when none other than that stupid, blonde vampire walks out behind Penelope. She watches as they linger by the door, Penelope resting back against it and talking to Cassie with an amused little smile that makes Josie want to set the vampire receiving it on fire. Penelope doesn’t look nearly as bothered by last night as Josie is – barely looks like she experienced any kind of emotionally jarring moments at all.

Cassie reaches out for Penelope, squeezing her hand, and it’s only because she leaves afterwards that Josie spares her from a very unpleasant Christmas makeover. Penelope’s eyes follow Cassie as she walks down the hall, and they inevitably settle on Josie. She at least has the sense to drop that smug smile when she sees her.

Josie takes a moment, pulling her eyes from Penelope’s, and then makes her way down the hall. She spares a look of disdain for Cassie as she passes, but she doesn’t let herself look at Penelope, keeping her gaze straight ahead. She thinks she’s gotten away with it when Penelope stays silent as she walks past her, but of course, it’s Penelope Park.

“You’re welcome, by the way.” Penelope calls after her.

And because it’s _Penelope,_ Josie can’t help but let her get under her skin.

She stops, turning to Penelope, “Excuse me?”

Penelope looks slightly annoyed herself – which doesn’t really help Josie’s mood. Her arms cross in front of her chest, and she remains leant back against her door, “Usually when someone helps you like I did last night, it’s kind of polite to say thanks.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Josie bites out, sarcasm dripping from her tone, “Thanks, Penelope. I’m sorry that my being drunk almost ruined your plans with Cassie. I’m glad you guys managed to find some time for each other after you climbed out of my bed, though.”

Penelope’s brows rise, and as if Josie weren’t annoyed enough, she actually _laughs_. “You think I left your room and went to be with _Cassie_?”

“What else am I supposed to think?”

“I’m sorry, didn’t you just leave Hope’s room? I could yell at you for the same thing.” Penelope counters, “But I guess you’re the only one who’s allowed to be mad, right?”

Josie’s eyes narrow, “Whatever. You can do what you want, I don’t care.”

“Except clearly you do.”

“No, I don’t. If you wanted to jump into bed with Cassie, that’s your choice. I just hope you weren’t dumb enough to let her feed on you again.”

“If I were that eager to have sex, Josie, I would have just stayed in your bed.”

Josie’s eyes widen at the blunt statement, cheeks reddening at she sees a few students further down the hall glance their way.

“I didn’t sleep with her.” Penelope says, and Josie recognizes the actual anger in her tone now, “So if you want to find a reason to brush last night off like it was a mistake, Josie, you’re going to have to come up with something else.” She reaches behind her for the handle of her door, “But first, maybe you should think about why you care so much.”

Penelope leaves Josie out in the hallway without another word.

* * *

The next day, Alaric breaks the news to Josie and Lizzie that their mother isn’t coming home for Christmas.

Josie should be used to it by now, but somehow, she still let herself get her hopes up. It’s not like her, to miss Lizzie and Josie’s birthdays, to miss Christmas. Josie doesn’t know what has changed in the past year that has made it so easy for her mom to stay away. She struggles not to join Lizzie when she lashes out at their dad, throwing around the blame and attempting to make sense of yet another rejection by their mother.

She’s retreating to her room, teary-eyed and tired of getting her hopes up, when she almost barrels into Penelope, whose arms dart out to bring Josie to a halt before she can collide with her. Penelope doesn’t release her immediately, frowning back at Josie, eyes scanning over her features. Josie avoids her gaze, attempts to move past her, only to have Penelope keep her firmly in place.

Then Penelope takes her hand, “Come with me.” She orders softly.

“I’m fine–”

“Josie.” Penelope doesn’t look like she’ll take ‘no’ for an answer, so Josie gives in, allowing her to lead her in the opposite direction.

They end up on the roof, Penelope coaxing Josie to sit down on the edge with her. Josie doesn’t really get why Penelope’s doing this. They haven’t spoken since their fight yesterday, and Josie’s realized since then that she was definitely overreacting when she got mad at her. Given that the other students – except for those like Penelope, who stay behind at Christmas – were all gone by this morning, it’s been a tense day of fearing she’ll find herself alone with Penelope, forced to face her embarrassment and manage an apology. Although none of that dread exists now, sitting on the roof with her. She feels anchored again, that darkness inside of her settling, her anger at her mother becoming less consuming.

Penelope doesn’t ask questions or try to get her to speak. She just lets Josie have her moment, lets her collect herself. She’s always had a way of knowing what Josie needs, even when Josie herself isn’t so sure.

Clearly, Penelope had been on her way up here anyway, if the joint she procures from her pocket is anything to go by. She lights it in silence, and Josie doesn’t care to disguise her staring, watching Penelope take her first drag. It’s almost calming, watching the movements, following the smoke as it falls from between Penelope’s lips, escaping into the air.

The guilt creeps up on Josie; here Penelope is, looking out for her for the second time in mere days, and Josie’s been acting like an idiot.

“I’m sorry.” She blurts out.

Penelope pauses mid-drag, brow furrowing in confusion.

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions yesterday.” Josie elaborates, “And I should have thanked you properly, for helping me.” 

Penelope shrugs, and Josie’s eyes follow the smoke that escapes from between her lips, “Well,” A small smile tugs at her lips, her eyes finally meeting Josie’s, “I guess you did kind of thank me when you tried to jump me.”

The teasing takes Josie by surprise, and she lets out an exasperated laugh, wiping at her eyes, the tears finally having let-up, “Whatever.”

Penelope watches her, expression soft, “I was telling the truth, though. Cassie was only in my room because she was checking if I needed her to heal the bite.”   

Jealousy prickles at Josie at the memory of the mark Cassie left on Penelope, but she focuses on the reassurance given, “I hope you told her it’d never happen again.”

“Well it’s always good to keep my options open.”

Josie’s eyes snap to Penelope’s, but her anger dissipates when she only finds an amused gaze looking back at her. Penelope smiles, curiosity playing on her features, no doubt wondering whether they’ll actually talk properly about the night of the dance. But then she turns her attention back to the grounds of the school below, returning the joint to her lips once more.

Silence settles over them, and while it’s not quite comfortable – filled with that tense energy that pokes and prods at Josie any time she’s around Penelope – something about it still feels like home.

“Why don’t you go home for Christmas?” she asks.

Penelope’s brow furrows at the question, “I’ve told you before. My coven barely ever stands still; it’s not worth visiting them for two weeks just to get caught up in whatever witch drama they’re chasing at the moment.”

“You’re not worried you’ll miss things?”

Penelope takes her time answering, expelling smoke into the air, “I’ll be with them for the rest of my life.” She shrugs, “The way I see it, being able to become myself here without my coven breathing down my neck is kind of a blessing.”

“Don’t you miss them, though?”

“Well, yeah, but I’ve told you what they’re like. When I do see them, all I hear on repeat is how my magic is too ‘modern’ or how I’m forsaking the coven by being here instead of with them. They’re… suffocating.” Penelope’s eyes trace over Josie, a knowing look on her face, “Something tells me you’re not really asking because you care about my coven, though.”

Josie still thinks it’s unfair that Penelope’s able to read her like this, when she’s stuck clueless as to what is running through the girl’s mind.

“Your mom?” Penelope guesses, “I noticed she didn’t come home today.”

Josie nods her head, but she doesn’t look at Penelope. Not sure she can handle it. “She didn’t even call me or Lizzie; she just let _Dad_ tell us again. He said she’s still working through ‘recruitment’ cases – which I know is a lie. She’s been saying it all year and the only new students have been ones my dad and Hope have brought in.”

“She’ll have a reason.” Penelope’s voice lacks any of her usual teasing lilt, no bite. It’s soft, kind – a tone Josie used to be accustomed to hearing when Penelope would speak to her.

“I don’t know.” Josie says, sighing, “I believed she did, at first. But I don’t get what could be so important that she can’t just come home for _one day_ and be with us.”

“She loves you, Josie. I know it hurts right now, but… don’t forget that.” Penelope says, “There’ll be a reason.”

Josie’s surprised when she feels Penelope’s hand fall over her own. She assumes it’s a mistake at first, waiting for Penelope to pull back. But instead, she coaxes Josie’s hand up, threading their fingers together.

Josie finds herself lost for a moment looking at Penelope, wondering how she can still find such reassurance in the girl. Her cheeks redden when Penelope catches her in the act, “Can I…” she points to the joint awkwardly.

Penelope frowns, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Why not?”

“I brought you up here to calm you down.” Penelope shrugs, “I would’ve thought you’d want to go be with Lizzie.”

She has a point. No doubt, Lizzie’s downstairs making their dad’s life hell. Josie would usually be at her side, attempting to contain the situation. To calm Lizzie’s fury and quell their dad’s guilt. But right now, she wants to be here, with Penelope.

Josie shrugs, her free hand reaching over Penelope and retrieving the joint for herself, “Maybe it’s time I try something new.”

Penelope’s eyes follow Josie’s every movement, “And what would that be?”

Josie shrugs, “Taking care of myself.”  She brings the joint to her lips, taking a drag.

The proud smile that Penelope wears widens into a grin when the weed takes a victim in Josie, her lungs protesting and sending her into a coughing mess.

“That was _almost_ smooth.” She teases.

Josie sends Penelope a glare as her coughs eventually let up, “Whatever.” she glances down at the joint in her hand, pausing, “This isn’t your sex weed, is it?”

“Sex weed?” Penelope laughs softly, “It’s a bit late to ask that question.”

“Penelope.”

“Why would I lace my weed with anything like that when I’m smoking on the roof alone?”

Josie allows herself to relax, “Right. Okay, good.”

Penelope allows Josie to finish the rest of the joint, watching as she crushes the roach against the roof once she’s done. “After the other night, I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t need any kind of laced weed to get you into bed, anyway.”

Josie imagines her response – which is a bright red face and spluttered indignation – is exactly what Penelope was hoping for. “How are you so arrogant _all_ the time?”

“It’s a talent.”

Josie rolls her eyes, “You’re forgetting I was drunk, by the way.”

Penelope smirks, tilting her head curiously, “Oh really?”

Josie never feels safe when she looks at her this way – knows that is probably Penelope’s intention, “Really.” She says, although her voice wavers as Penelope moves, edging closer to Josie. Their hands remaining joined between them, shoulders touching now.

“So you only acted like that because you were drunk?” Penelope practically purrs the question.

“I didn’t exactly think it through.” Josie says, managing to avoid an outright lie, feeling like prey under Penelope’s heavy gaze currently.

Penelope’s body curves towards Josie’s, and her free hand reaches across to her, tracing a finger softly along the underside of Josie’s jaw, eventually settling beneath her chin. Josie tries to seem unaffected by the touch, although she’s sure Penelope feels her tremble under it.

Penelope leans in, and Josie does the same practically on instinct; but their lips don’t quite touch, Penelope purposefully keeping but an inch between them. She pulls back teasingly every time Josie goes to close the distance, leaving her ready to beg for Penelope to show mercy. There are a few moments where she thinks she finally will, but Penelope just lingers there, breaths mingling with Josie’s and cruelly teasing her.

She gets _so_ close then, that Josie almost thinks she can feel her lips brush her own as she speaks again.

“You’re not drunk right now.”

Josie takes a moment to process the murmured comment from Penelope, watching like a lost puppy as Penelope pulls away from her, as though it’s the easiest thing in the world

“Sorry, Jojo. That excuse only goes so far.” She says.

Josie almost whines in protest, but manages to find some semblance of her pride, swallowing the lump in her throat and willing the flush on her cheeks away. Their hands are still linked next to them, and Penelope looks so stupidly victorious, her point more than made: she can have Josie whenever she wants.

The moment sobers, and Josie’s reminded of just how up in the air everything is between them. The only thing she really does know is that Penelope’s the only person who can do this to her; who can pull Josie out of it when things go dark.

Josie looks down at their hands, frowning, “What are we doing?”

Penelope doesn’t answer, letting out a sigh that doesn’t really make Josie feel confident that she has any more answers than her.

The ache in Josie’s chest makes itself known again, “I’m tired of fighting, Pen.”

Penelope nods, “Yeah.” She murmurs, “Me too.”

“Then why do we keep doing it?”

Penelope laughs, but it’s hollow, “At this point, I think it’s just become second nature.”

Josie hates that they’ve become this. There’d been a time when she couldn’t even fathom hurting Penelope or being hurt by her. Now she’s practically made a career out of this constant barrage of anger and fighting with Penelope; all because it seemed better than not having Penelope around at all.

Josie turns to look at Penelope, her words coming out unsurely, “So where does that leave us?”

Penelope’s eyes find Josie’s for a moment, drifting down to her lips, her own parted slightly. Her expression is so heavy that Josie finds it hard to breathe under it. But then Penelope’s gaze moves away, “Maybe it’s okay if we don’t have the answer to that just yet.”

Josie’s not sure what she wanted to hear – what she’s ready to hear. But it’s not an end, at least. And she thinks that for now, at least, it’ll be enough.

* * *

_At a young age, Josie Saltzman decided Christmas was her favorite holiday. She supposes it’s a cliché, but all the same, there’s something magical that can’t be beaten about the day. The excited buzz that fills Mystic Falls in the weeks approaching, the warm, cheery disposition that engulfs everyone in town, the decorations and the music… Josie loves it all._

_But most of all, Christmas means spending the day surrounded by the people she loves; and this year, that includes an additional person. Although, if her girlfriend had her way, it wouldn’t._

_“My coven will kill me if they find out I’m celebrating Christmas.” Penelope says as she waits by the car, watching Josie collect her things from the trunk._

_Lizzie is already walking ahead with their parents, their own hands filled with presents and food as they approach the doorstep of Elena and Damon Salvatore. She sends an irritated glance back to Penelope and Josie, only to have her mother shove her along lightly._

_Josie laughs, closing the trunk of the car and walking over to Penelope, “Don’t think of it as Christmas.” She says, handing her a bag to carry, “Think of it as spending the day with your amazing girlfriend and the people she loves.”_

_“Hm.” Penelope looks to the Salvatore house, and there’s a rare display of nerves in her demeanour, “How about I go back to the school, and you come and find me later tonight when you start missing me?”_

_Josie looks at her girlfriend knowingly, “You’re nervous.”_

_“Well… **obviously**. I’ve read Stefan Salvatore’s journals. I know what I’m about to walk into.” _

_“It’s not like that. They’re all actually pretty normal, now.”_

_“What, they got all the murder and end-of-the-world drama out of their systems?”_

_“For the most part.” Josie grins, stepping closer and kissing Penelope’s cheek before linking their free hands together, “They’ll love you.”_

_“Not if Lizzie has anything to say about it.” Penelope mutters out, but she doesn’t resist as Josie pulls her along towards the house._

_When they reach the doorstep, Damon is waiting for them, doing his best intimidating once-over of Penelope as they approach. “Wonder-Twin number two.” He greets Josie, pulling her into a hug when they reach him, “How’s Hogwarts going? Has Ric run my house into the ground yet?”_

_“If you visited once in a while, you’d be able to see for yourself.” Josie grins at her uncle when they separate._

_Damon makes a face, “I prefer to critique from afar, less exposure to teenage angst that way.” Before Josie can introduce Penelope, he beats her to it. “Satan, I presume?”_

_Josie makes a mental note to kill Lizzie later, and perhaps Damon, as well. She should have known Lizzie would have confided in him – he’s always been happy to entertain her crueller side._

_Penelope gapes back at Damon, glancing to Josie as if to say, **‘I told you so’**. _

_“Hey, no judgement on my side.” Damon says, grinning at Penelope, “As a former bad-guy, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”_

_Josie really wishes someone had thought better than to let her uncle and his sociopathic smile be the first one to greet them. Thankfully, they’re saved by a harsh slap to the side of his head._

_“Don’t be an ass, Damon.” Bonnie says, her smile widening when it lands on Josie. she doesn’t even spare Damon a second-glance, as he stands there mildly annoyed while she gushes over Josie and introduces herself to Penelope._

_“I like her.” Penelope remarks as Bonnie walks away back into the house with Damon. “Also, please tell me how I’m supposed to put my best foot forward when your sister’s already sabotaged me?”_

_Josie laughs, “You’ve always been good with a challenge.”_

_“You’re so lucky I love you.”_

_Josie spares Penelope a quick kiss, proceeding to pull her girlfriend inside, “I know.”_

_After that, much of the first few hours are spent on reunions and introducing Penelope, followed by the mandatory questions about how school is going. Thankfully, Lizzie spends most of her time fawning over Damon and Elena’s kids, allowing Josie to ease Penelope into the found-family dynamic without her sister interfering. It’s mostly a lot of quiet observation on Penelope’s part, but as the day passes, she grows more confident, throwing in her own snarky comments here and there._

_(Josie should have known it’d be Damon who Penelope would end up gravitating towards the most. She just hopes their similarities end at wit and sarcasm.)_

_Josie hadn’t thought she could fall any more for the girl, but something about seeing her with her family, laughing along as Caroline and Damon argue in the kitchen, talking to Bonnie about her coven, sending Josie small smiles in between it all… Josie’s somehow fallen harder._

_They’re currently sitting at the kitchen island, happily acting as tasters while Caroline and Damon remind themselves why they need to stop agreeing to cook Christmas dinner together. Josie enjoys the ordeal, though, seeing a glimpse of that feistier side of her mother that Elena and Bonnie always talk about. She’s never quite sure if her mom hates Damon, or if she enjoys the whole frenemy thing they have going._

_Elena sits with them, a glass of wine in her hand – she’s long been banned from cooking, after almost setting the kitchen on fire that one time. She watches Caroline and Damon as though to make sure the pair don’t start actually trading blows._

_“So, Penelope.” Elena starts, eyes leaving her husband and falling on the girl, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”_

_Josie thinks Penelope actually **sighs**._

_“From Lizzie?” Penelope guesses._

_Elena laughs, “No, from Josie.” she shrugs, “Although Lizzie has put a word or two in.”_

_“You mean you haven’t read her thesis on how I’m the first sign of the apocalypse, yet?”_

_Josie feels what she thinks must be pride as Elena laughs at Penelope’s dry response._

_“Hang in there.” Elena says, eyes finding Damon for a moment, “Siblings can be… complicated.”_

_Josie can practically **see** the gears turning in Penelope’s mind, and reaches beneath the island to pinch Penelope in mild warning – dreading whatever bold joke might leave her girlfriend’s lips at the mention of her aunt’s history with brothers. Penelope jumps, and when she meets Josie’s eyes, that smirk on her lips confirms Josie’s suspicions. Thankfully, she refrains from making the rest of the day unbearably awkward._

_Damon slips past Caroline, interfering with the dish she’s working on for the fourth time now, and Caroline turns to him with a sharp glare, kitchen knife in hand, “I swear to **God** , Damon, if you do that one more time I’m going to send you through the window.”_

_Josie catches the way Penelope’s eyebrows rise at the threat, no doubt used to the more composed version of Josie’s mother that usually walks the school halls._

_“No, you won’t. Human…” Damon points to himself, then back to Caroline, “Vampire. Remember? You have to be delicate with me now, Care Bear.”_

_Josie grins at the snort that leaves Penelope, her smile widening when her girlfriend immediately looks horrified for letting the laugh out, looking to Caroline like she’s expecting to be told to stay away from her daughter any minute now. Josie’s mom is too busy contemplating murdering Damon, thankfully._

_“Damon, quit it.” Elena warns._

_Their bickering only continues, and Josie decides now is the time to grab Penelope and slip away, tapping her on the thigh to grab her attention. Penelope looks at her and it’s so **soft,** Josie doesn’t know how she’s supposed to function. She grabs Penelope’s hand, leading her out of the kitchen. They pass through the living room where Jeremy and Alaric are murmuring about something that Josie assumes is all too serious for Christmas, and she’s thankful to find Lizzie distracted by Bonnie, managing to pull Penelope to Elena’s study without any attention sent their way. _

_Penelope lets go of Josie’s hand once they’re inside, pausing to look around the study, “So, your mom’s kind of terrifying.” she remarks, turning to Josie with an amused smile, “She always seems so put-together at school.”_

_Josie laughs, “Yeah, well, Damon brings it out in her. They have a weird history.”_

_“Doesn’t your **whole** family have a bit of a weird history?” Penelope teases. _

_“I really hate the fact that you read Stefan’s journals.” Josie says, cringing at what she must have read about some of her closest loved ones, “They’re locked up for a reason.”_

_“Bit hard to lock things away when the school’s filled with witches.” Penelope shrugs. She pauses at the photos on Elena’s desk, eyes scanning over the various images, “This all seems weirdly normal after reading about Damon in the journals.”_

_“I told you they’re different now.” Josie shrugs, “They’ve been through enough, anyway. This is their ‘happily ever after’.”_

_“Yeah…” Penelope is wearing a thoughtful expression, “Is this… what you want?”_

_Josie watches Penelope as she comes to stand in front of the desk, resting back on it as she waits for her answer, “What do you mean?”_

_“The whole white-picket fence, human thing.”_

_The question gives Josie pause. She’s never really thought about it, but it makes her nervous, being asked it by Penelope. Sure, she’s never had the most conventional life, but a lot of it has still been rooted in human experiences, growing up in Mystic Falls. Penelope, on the other hand, has a coven. She’s always lived distanced from the human world._

_“I don’t know.” Josie answers honestly. And she’s surely too young to be worried about this kind of conversation, but apparently somewhere along the line she decided Penelope would be in her future – and the thought that their lives don’t align outside of this period of time terrifies her. “I mean… I’d like to know what else is out there, first.”_

_Penelope nods, and Josie tries to read her expression, but she comes up empty._

_“It’s nice.” Penelope says eventually, quietly, “It’s… simple.”_

_“I guess.”_

_Penelope tilts her head, regarding Josie with a soft smile, “You don’t like talking about the future?”_

_“It’s not that…” Josie shakes her head, “It’s just, we’re kind of in a bubble at school. Don’t you ever wonder how different things will be once it’s all over?”_

_Penelope shrugs, “It’ll be different, sure. I don’t think that’s something to be scared of, though.” She pauses, and then reaches out her hand for Josie. Josie steps closer, accepting it and allowing Penelope to pull her over to her. “What I **do** know… is that I love you, Josie Saltzman.” She lifts Josie’s hand to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to her skin, “I’m happy to figure out the rest as it comes.” _

_Josie’s not sure she’ll ever get over hearing those three words fall from Penelope’s lips. Every time they do, it’s like hearing them for the first time all over again. She leans into her, resting her forehead against Penelope’s, “I’m glad you’re here.” She says._

_“Yeah.” Penelope smiles, “Me too.”_

_Josie bites down on her bottom lip, turning to look back at the doorway, confirming what she saw upon entering. She steps back from Penelope, holding both of her hands and pulling her with her, walking them over to the doorway._

_Penelope spots the mistletoe as she stumbles under it with Josie, rolling her eyes, “You know you can kiss me any time you like, right?”_

_“It’s festive.” Josie grins, tugging Penelope closer, “Humor me.”_

_Penelope laughs, hands finding the back of Josie’s neck, “Happily.”_

_She pulls Josie into her, lips finding Josie’s and kissing her like she’s been waiting all day to do so. Which, if she’s like Josie, she has. Josie forgets herself, forgets where they are, sighing into the kiss and letting Penelope engulf her world._

_Unfortunately, it only lasts so long._

_“RIC!” Damon barks, and Josie and Penelope jump apart from one another in alarm, “Your kid’s trying to tarnish the innocence of mistletoe.”_

_Josie and Penelope’s flushed faces grow redder, the pair looking down at their feet with matching mortified expressions. Damon just sends them an entertained smirk, proud of himself, and he practically skips back towards the kitchen._

_And even with the embarrassment of her uncle – who is most definitely a hypocrite, considering his past – as she takes Penelope’s hand and leads her back to re-join her family, and watches Penelope so easily fit herself amongst those she loves..._

_Josie thinks she could get used to this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer wait on this one, guys! Life got busy and when that happens, fic has to suffer, unfortunately.  
> Anyway, there is probably only one or two chapters left, plus a likely epilogue. Hopefully you didn’t hate this one. I’ll be hiding on @saltzpen if you need me. Let me know what you thought, and I’ll hopefully see you soon!
> 
> (btw I know Elena etc. aren't biologically the twins' aunts/uncles but I feel like they'd have a similar thing to a lot of people without extended family, where the closest adult figures in their lives often take on those roles)


	9. Chapter 9

Josie wakes up the next day knowing one thing: she is not ready to move on from Penelope Park.

Unfortunately, that’s about where anything resembling a plan starts and ends for her.

Breakfast during semester break means fending for yourself in the kitchen, and despite her hopes to cross paths with her ex, Penelope is nowhere to be seen when Josie enters the kitchen that morning. She tells herself to relax – she has two weeks in a near-empty school with Penelope, she has plenty of time to spend with her – and she forces her eagerness down and eats breakfast with Lizzie.

Her sister is uncharacteristically quiet, no doubt still upset about the news from their mom. Josie doesn’t even know how to comfort her, at this point. Her own faith in their mother grows weaker every day they go with complete silence. Lizzie doesn’t break her silence until Josie is getting up to leave, planning on visiting the next place she knows she’s likely to find Penelope.

“Where’re you going?”

“Just to the library.” Josie answers innocently.

Lizzie sees straight through her, eyes narrowing at Josie. It’s not irritation in her gaze, though; it looks like concern, “Penelope’s stayed back again this year.”

The use of Penelope’s actual name is enough to have Josie pause in shock. “I know.” She says, attempting to sound nonchalant – like she isn’t heading to the library with the intention of running into her ex.

Lizzie looks like she wants to say something, and Josie swears she must have fallen into an alternate universe, because since when has her twin ever held back from speaking her mind?

“You know she was the one who put up the mistletoe, right?”

Josie frowns – she’d considered that at first, but the theory had seemed less likely the more annoyed Penelope got with the situation. “What?”

“Yeah.” Lizzie purses her lips, then lets out a soft laugh, “Well – she _did_ , at first. She took the spell down after Hope and you started…” she makes a face, “But obviously someone else cast another one.”

“Wait.” Josie’s not sure how to respond to the information – or how her sister fits into it all. “How do you even know that?”

“Oh.” Lizzie looks to the floor guiltily, “Well… she knew I was trying to get rid of the mistletoe, too, so she offered to help me out.”

“So… you teamed up with _Penelope Park_ just to meddle.”

“To be fair, _you_ wanted the mistletoe gone, too. I was only doing what you wanted.” Lizzie reasons, “Besides, it barely lasted two days. She’s a nightmare.”

Josie knows Lizzie’s reasons for wanting the mistletoe were definitely of the selfish, ‘threatened by Hope’ type, but she decides not to argue her sister on the fact. “Why’re you telling me this now?”

Lizzie shrugs, “I guess I just… don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”

There’s an underlying message in the admission; subtlety is not exactly Lizzie’s forte. 

“We’re supposed to tell each other everything, Josie.” Lizzie continues, just to drive the painfully obvious point home.

They haven’t spoken about Penelope since their fight – any mention of Josie’s love life has been off limits lately. Lizzie doesn’t ask, and Josie sure as hell doesn’t bring it up. The last thing she needs while she figures this all out is Lizzie’s opinion.

Josie nods, “Okay, well… thanks for telling me.”

Lizzie looks disappointed by Josie’s refusal to divulge any information, but she doesn’t push her, offering a half-hearted smile, “Always.”

Josie hovers there for a moment, hating feeling like she’s hiding something from Lizzie. But if she doesn’t even know _what_ it is exactly that she’s hiding, is it still lying? She knows Lizzie is there, if she needs her. Perhaps that’s the way it should be; being there for one another, without the suffocating rule that it come at the cost of any independence of each other.

So, she leaves, and when she walks into the library, as suspected, she finds Penelope amongst the stacks, a book in hand and a soft furrow to her brow as she reads the blurb. Josie hovers at the end of the row of shelves, attempting to look surprised when Penelope notices her.

“Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here.” She lies, “Do you mind if I….”

Penelope looks very much unconvinced by the act, “It’s a library.” She says dryly, amusement swimming in her eyes, “Go for your life.”

Josie smiles at her sheepishly, turning to browse the shelves. She pulls a random book out, pretending to care about what’s written on the back, moreso just taking the opportunity to glance over to Penelope curiously every now and then.

“I can feel you staring.” Penelope says eventually, eyes moving from the shelves to fix on Josie.

Josie fumbles the book in her hands, cheeks burning even hotter as Penelope looks on entertained. She clears her throat, composing herself, “I’m not staring.” She says weakly, placing the book back to its original place.

Penelope sends her a look, lips twitching with a smile, but she turns back to the shelves, walking slightly further down the row, fingers trailing along the spines as she reads over the titles. They exist in silence for a few minutes, but the energy between them feels loud as ever. Josie really does try to pick a book to read; it’s just hard to do that with Penelope so close, the uncertainty between them weighing on every small glance exchanged. Yeah… Josie might have overestimated her ability to exist in the same space as Penelope without it being… like this.

“So, I found out that you’re the one who put the mistletoe up.” She says when the silence gets too unbearable.

Penelope pauses in the middle of turning a page of the book currently in her hands, “I’m surprised it took Lizzie this long to tell you.”

Josie doesn’t deny that her sister told her, “I asked you if you cast the spell ages ago.” She says, “You said you didn’t.”

“Actually, I never confirmed or denied it.” Penelope says haughtily, so clearly pleased with herself.

Josie rolls her eyes, allowing her that, “So why did you do it?”

“I felt like the school could do with a bit of excitement.”

“That’s it?”

Penelope closes the book in her hands, holding it to her chest as she watches Josie approach, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Josie shrugs, “Usually your schemes are a bit farther reaching than that.”

Penelope doesn’t seem bothered by Josie’s accusation, instead she appears to be enjoying herself, “Well there _was_ an added bonus.” She admits, “I had to get your attention somehow, after you kissed me on your birthday and proceeded to pretend I didn’t exist.”

“ _You_ kissed _me_.”  

“Minor details.”

Josie bites back a smile, “That mistletoe has made school a living hell.”

“If I recall correctly, there were times you seemed pretty okay with it.” Is Penelope’s smug response.

“You’re right; Hope’s a really great kisser.” Josie means it to be teasing – expects Penelope to understand as much. But instead of amusement, something darker crosses Penelope’s features, her jaw tightens, and she turns back to the stacks, placing her book back on the shelf.

“Glad I could help.” She mutters out unhappily.

Josie pauses as Penelope walks away, and she follows her into the next row, attempting to fix the misstep, “Lizzie said you lifted the spell, though.”

That doesn’t seem to help the situation, either. Penelope doesn’t look back at her, fingers trailing along the spines of the books in front of her, irritation clear on her features, “Clearly, it didn’t do much. Some idiot just cast a new one.”

Josie doesn’t get the sudden change – hates when Penelope goes cold like this. It’s always so sudden, so impenetrable. “I would have thought it’d take the apocalypse for you to team up with Lizzie.” She teases, trying again to get them back on track.

It doesn’t work.

“Are you planning on following me around all day?” Penelope bites out.

The blunt response takes Josie by surprise, and she lets out a disbelieving laugh, “Seriously? What have I done now?”

“Nothing. I just didn’t come to the _library_ to talk about Hope Mikaelson.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Don’t act so outraged.” Penelope drawls, “I’m not obligated to entertain you in the absence of your girlfriend.”

“My _what_?”

Penelope takes a deep breath, turning to face Josie with a glare, “Is she even okay with you spending time with me like this?”

“Why would she – _oh_.” It clicks, “You think I’m dating Hope.”

The frown on Penelope’s face is answer enough, “You are.”

“I literally tried to sleep with you four days ago.”

Penelope looks defensive now, “That doesn’t mean you couldn’t have been dating Hope at the time.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m not a cheater, Penelope.”

“You’ve been shoving your tongue down her throat all month, so from where I’m standing you’re not exactly platonic.”

“That was because _you_ threatened everyone else! Hope was the only person with the guts to actually kiss me under the mistletoe that _you_ put all over school.” 

“There were other options.”

“What? Like kissing you?”

Penelope shrugs.

“You’re impossible.” Josie huffs, “So, what? You tried to kiss me last night while thinking I had a girlfriend?”

“I didn’t try to kiss you. That was kind of the whole point.” Penelope says, “Proving that if I wanted to, I could.”

“That’s not–” Josie wants to scream, she’s so frustrating, “Who _does_ that?”

“You were trying to blame your actions on alcohol. I didn’t really feel like being insulted in that way.” Penelope tilts her head, “You know we’re fighting again, right?”

Josie huffs, “Well if you weren’t so difficult all the time we wouldn’t be.”

“You started it. I was just respecting your relationship with Hope by suggesting you not spend all your time with me.”

“I don’t have a relationship with her!”

Penelope scoffs, “You went with her to the Christmas dance. That wasn’t exactly a requirement of the mistletoe, now, was it?”

“I knew you were mad about that.”

“I’m not mad about anything. If you’re into Princess Tribrid, just admit it.”

“She’s my _friend_.” Josie stresses, stepping closer to Penelope, “If I was into her, do you really think I’d be here?”

“I don’t know.” Penelope says, not faltering under Josie’s stare, “What I _do_ know is that she’s the reason you finally decided to start standing up to Lizzie.”

Josie catches the vulnerability in Penelope’s voice, frowning at the statement. She realizes now how close they are; Penelope pressed back against the stacks as Josie stands in front of her, their fronts almost touching.

“You really think that?” she says. Penelope’s not entirely wrong, but she’s not right, either. Sure, Josie has fought for her friendship with Hope against her sister’s wishes – but the only reason she even got to the point where she could do that, was because she’d already felt what it’s like to lose someone because of her and Lizzie’s relationship. To lose Penelope.

“So all those times I kissed you this month; in the kitchen, in the woods… in my bed.” Josie frowns, “What did you think all of that was?”

Penelope shrugs, and she refuses to meet Josie’s gaze, eyes cast stubbornly to the side, “Sometimes familiarity can confuse people.”

For someone so capable of reading Josie, Penelope manages to miss a lot of things. Josie wonders if it’s on purpose; just a stubborn refusal to actually entertain the idea that they could fix things between them.

Josie steps closer, demanding Penelope’s attention, hands capturing her face and coaxing her to meet her gaze. Penelope stares back at her unshakeably, but Josie can hear how unsteady her breaths are, can feel her tremble slightly under her touch. “What if I’m not confused?”

It’s so _quiet_ in the library that Josie can hear every minuscule sound – the way the books move slightly as Penelope leans back into them, the clock ticking across the room, their breaths mingling together. Penelope’s hands reach up to wrap around Josie’s wrists, but she doesn’t pull her hands from her face.

When Penelope’s eyes land on her lips, Josie presses herself closer. But before she can make another move, that familiar taunting bell signalling the appearance of mistletoe rings out through the library, shattering the world around them. Josie and Penelope both frown at the sound, and then they hear Lizzie cursing loudly.

_“Josie?”_ her sister’s voice calls through the library.

Josie’s eyes find Penelope’s again, and for a moment she remains where she is, thinking maybe she’s just imagined her sister’s terrible timing. She relents when Lizzie calls for her again, dropping her hands from Penelope and stepping back, reluctantly making her way out of the stacks. She finds Lizzie standing in the doorway, an impatient look on her face as the mistletoe sits above her head. Josie had thought, considering the fact that most students have left the school for break, the mistletoe would be gone by now. Apparently not.

“This is ridiculous.” Lizzie scowls.

Penelope appears at Josie’s side, and a loud laugh leaves her lips when she sees Lizzie, “Oh, perfect.”  She sighs happily, “I needed a pick-me up.”

“Why the fuck is this still happening?” Lizzie hisses back at her.

Penelope shrugs; she still looks slightly scattered to Josie, but to Lizzie, she appears as snarky as ever. “I mean, when I cast the first spell, it was supposed to last until Christmas day. So, I’m gonna guess that’s the case.”

The logic behind that helps to bring Josie head out of the stacks, and she frowns, “What’s the point in keeping it around when there isn’t anyone here to even help if you get caught under it?” 

“For perfect moments like this.” Penelope says, gesturing to Lizzie, “Now I get to watch her walk around looking like Rudolph all day.”

Josie looks to Lizzie, who seems like she’s about to explode, “I’m supposed to go to the Christmas markets tonight.” she actually stomps her foot as she complains.

The solution to Lizzie’s problem is grasped by Josie, first. It’s not a great one – a horrible one, in fact. On an ordinary day, Josie wouldn’t even _consider_ making the suggestion. But it’s Christmas Eve, and Lizzie’s already upset enough about their mom’s absence. Adding to that by having her secluded to the school for the night due to antlers and a red nose? Josie’s not sure Lizzie – or anyone unfortunate enough to cross her path– would survive it.

She sighs, accepts the circumstances, and turns pleading eyes to her ex-girlfriend, “Penelope?”

It takes a second for Penelope to realize what’s being asked of her, and she visibly pales when she does, “ _No_.”

“Please.”

“No.” Penelope makes a face, “Just– no. What is wrong with you?”

Lizzie catches on, and is apparently on board with the idea, “I can’t walk into Mystic Falls with enchanted antlers sprouting from my head.”

“And that is my problem, how?” Penelope says.

“You put the stupid mistletoe up in the first place!”

Penelope crosses her arms in front of her chest, “I’m not kissing you.”

“Penelope, it’s Christmas. Can’t you just do this one thing?” Josie tries to reason.

“I don’t even celebrate Christmas, so that means nothing to me.”

“You didn’t seem to care about _that_ when you put the fucking mistletoe up everywhere.” Lizzie scowls at Penelope, and Josie’s certain her current predicament is the only thing stopping her from outright sending a curse Penelope’s way.

“No one has to know.” Josie says.

“That’s _so_ not the point.”

Lizzie groans, “It’s not exactly _my_ idea of a good time, either.”

“Then just deal with it and look dumb for the day. That’s what I’d do.”

“Uh, _no_ , you wouldn’t.” Lizzie scoffs, “You’d just convince Josie to kiss you like the little succubus you are.”

Penelope turns to Josie, exasperated, “And you expect me to _help_ her?”

At this rate, Josie thinks they’re just going to have to live in the library until Christmas is over; with Penelope and Lizzie’s stubbornness combined, they’re doomed.

“We can’t get out of here unless she moves from under the doorway. Think of it as helping yourself.” Josie says, “Please, Pen.”

“Exactly.” Lizzie isn’t really helping herself, as she glares at Penelope, “Please, _Pen_.”

Penelope scowls at Lizzie’s use of the nickname, “Or I could just set you on fire.” She threatens, “I bet that’d get you out from under there.”

“Penelope.”

Penelope turns to Josie, “You realize you’re asking me to kiss your _sister_ , right?”

“It’s really not a big deal.” Josie reasons.

“Then you kiss her.”

“She’s my _sister_ , you perv.” Lizzie says, receiving the middle finger from Penelope, which she returns with equal enthusiasm.

Josie rolls her eyes at the pair, and she steps in front of Penelope, forcing Lizzie out of the conversation, “It’s just a kiss.”

“That’s funny, because I swear you were making the point that a kiss isn’t ‘just’ anything a few minutes ago.” Penelope mutters back to her.

“This is different.”

“She might fall in love with me.” Penelope says, and Josie’s surprised by how seriously she delivers the line, “Surely your uncle’s warned you about getting into love triangles with your siblings.”

“Ha. Ha.” Josie responds dryly, “Come on. You _know_ Lizzie won’t leave unless you do it. She’s made up her mind so it’s either we all suffer together and stay stuck here, or you just get it over with, kiss her, and then get to go back to enjoying your Lizzie-free day.”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me to make out with your sister.” Penelope shakes her head in disbelief.

“ _Not_ make out.” Josie says, maybe a little too possessively, “Just a kiss. Enough to get the mistletoe to go away.”

Josie can see Penelope break; she’s surprised it didn’t take longer. Penelope looks over to Lizzie, a pout on her lips. She deliberates for a bit, and then a defeated sigh falls from her lips, “Fuck my life.”

Penelope walks over to the doorway, every step closer looking like it takes monumental amounts of effort, and she hesitates at the threshold for a moment before biting the bullet and stepping under the mistletoe with Lizzie. Her skin looks almost green as she stands opposite Lizzie, lips curled with disgust.

Lizzie doesn’t look much different, “If you use tongue I _swear_ –”

“Shut up and keep your hands to yourself.” Penelope growls out. She looks over at Josie one last time, as though pleading for her to call it off. Josie just shrugs, and Penelope sighs again, reluctantly turning to Lizzie.

Josie watches in pure horror as her ex-girlfriend steps closer to Lizzie, and as they lean in Josie has to cast her eyes away from the pair, sure the image would haunt her for the rest of time. When she looks back, Penelope and Lizzie are pulling away from each other with matching looks of revulsion, unable to even look at each other.

Josie goes to speak, but barely gets a ‘thank you’ out before Penelope raises her hand up, stopping Josie.

“ _You_ owe me.” Penelope tells Josie, looking like she might vomit, “And _you,”_ she points blindly to Lizzie, refusing to look at her, “Can pay me back by never talking to me again.”

“Happily.” Lizzie grumbles.

Penelope takes a deep breath, “Now, I’m going to go and wash my mouth out for the next five hours.” She says, “Please let me mourn my dignity in peace.”

Turning on her heel, Penelope escapes out of the library and down the hall.

* * *

Christmas morning is less of an event this year. Without their mother around in all her holiday-loving glory, it almost feels like just another day. Josie and Lizzie wake up and join their dad for breakfast, and they exchange gifts and then go their separate ways. No singing Christmas music with their mother, no morning walk through the woods. It’s all very… average.

Thankfully, they’re sticking with Christmas tradition and going to Damon and Elena’s later, anyway, so there is some hope left for the holiday. So, Josie decides to stick to another Christmas tradition and bake a pie to bring to the Salvatore’s, despite the lack of her mother in the kitchen with her this year. Lizzie doesn’t usually take part in the baking on Christmas morning, often preoccupied with her gifts or hanging out with their dad instead. She doesn’t join Josie this morning in their mother’s absence, either.

So after breakfast, Josie occupies the kitchen, and she’s just getting her ingredients gathered when Penelope walks through the door.

Penelope freezes when she sees Josie, “Don’t say a _word_ about yesterday.” She blurts out immediately.

Josie grins, makes a ‘zipping’ motion across her mouth, and it’s only then that Penelope seems to decide it’s safe to continue into the kitchen. She walks over to join Josie in the pantry, brushing against Josie’s side as she retrieves a box of cereal. Their eyes meet for a moment; Josie’s breath catches.

“Merry Christmas, by the way.” Penelope says, moving out of Josie’s personal space and walking over to collect milk from the fridge

Josie frowns, “I thought you didn’t celebrate.” She says, hefting her various ingredients into her arms and walking over to dump them on one of the kitchen benches.

Penelope shrugs, “You do.” Apparently, the dining room isn’t appealing this morning, as Penelope hops up onto the kitchen island with her bowl of cereal, watching Josie as she begins to eat her breakfast. “So, what the Saltzman-Forbes Christmas pie this year?”

It’s really not significant, but Josie still smiles at the fact that Penelope remembers the things she told her while they were together, “Apple and blueberry.”

Penelope lets out a moan that is just inappropriate enough to make Josie blush as she looks over her mom’s recipe, “Need any help?”

Josie frowns, “Really?”

“Yeah.” Penelope shrugs, “I don’t have anything else to do.”

“Don’t feel like you have to just because my mom’s not here.”

“I’m offering because I _want_ to.” Penelope rolls her eyes, “Accept the help, Jojo.”

Josie does as she’s told, and Penelope finishes her breakfast before she joins Josie, who delegates her to prepping ingredients while she works on the pastry. For so long their interactions have been dramatic in one way or the other; it’s nice to just exist with Penelope, enjoying one another’s company. She’d forgotten what it was like.

Although, it’s still not quite… normal.

Josie swears she can sense every movement Penelope makes as they work together in the space. They orbit one another, brush unnecessarily against each other when they pass, stand too close when they end up side-by-side. She keeps catching Penelope glancing her way (mainly because Josie herself keeps looking over at the girl), and Josie’s fully expecting to ruin this pie, given how completely distracted she is. It’s a miracle that she gets the pastry ready and cooling in the fridge without any trouble.  

Penelope seems to be equally as distracted, which is confirmed when she startles Josie by letting out a little yelp, dropping her knife, “ _Fuck_.”

Josie turns to the girl, eyes widening at the blood dripping from Penelope’s palm. She switches off the stovetop quickly before moving over to Penelope, grabbing her wrist pulling her close so she can inspect the cut.

“How did you even _do_ that?”

“It’s fine.” Penelope tries, but Josie’s already pulling her over to the sink, turning the tap on and guiding her hand under water to rinse the wound. “I might not have been paying as much attention as I should have.” She admits.

“No kidding.” Josie turns the tap off, grabs a bunch of paper towels and presses them into Penelope’s palm, “Put pressure on it.” She orders, going to retrieve the first aid kit stored away in one of the cupboards.  

“What, you’re not going to heal this one?” Penelope asks, a smirk tracing her lips as Josie returns to her. She leans against the bench, offering her hand to Josie, knowing well enough not to fight her.

Josie laughs, pouring some antiseptic onto a cotton ball, “I think you can handle the pain this time.” She says, taking Penelope’s hand and discarding the bloody paper towels in favor of pressing the cotton ball to the wound. Penelope hisses at the sting, and she arches a brow, “Or maybe not.”

Penelope glares back at her playfully, “So, Dr. Saltzman, am I going to survive?”

“Not if you got blood all over the apples.”

“I think there was one casualty.”

Josie grins, shrugging, “I guess I can let that slide.” She reaches for a bandage, securing it over the wound. When she’s done, she doesn’t release Penelope’s hand immediately, losing herself for a moment, fingers brushing over Penelope’s skin. She meets Penelope’s eyes, finding her watching her curiously. There’s something that’s been nagging at Josie since the library yesterday; she doesn’t understand how, amongst all the moments they’ve shared in the past month, Penelope could think she’s had her mind on anyone else.

“I don’t have feelings for Hope.”

Penelope frowns slightly, “Where’d that come from?”

“I just… thought you should know.” Josie continues, “It was never… I never looked at her that way.” She can’t read Penelope’s expression; she’s looking at Josie with such quiet reflection, it unsettles her. “Okay?”

Penelope’s eyes trace over Josie’s features, making her feel so small under her gaze, so exposed. “Okay.”

Silence falls over them; it feels like they’re both just waiting for something from the other. Eventually, Josie catches herself, releasing Penelope’s hand, “Um – so, yeah.” She steps back, “All done.”

Penelope closes her hand experimentally, winces slightly when she does, “… thanks.”

Josie moves back to where she’d been preparing the pastry, trying not to look back to Penelope as she returns to her place next to her. She doesn’t really know where this leaves them; has no clue what’s supposed to happen now. It should be easy, shouldn’t it? You care for someone and they care for you and everything after that should fall into place. So why does this still feel so uncertain?

“So, are you still going to Damon and Elena’s this year?” Penelope asks, clearly an effort to break the silence, given she most definitely knows the answer to that.

“Yeah.” Josie smiles, tossing the ingredients for the pie’s filling into a saucepan, “Hopefully it’ll at least feel like Christmas once I get there. This morning’s been… weird, without Mom.”

Josie’s mouth goes dry as Penelope presses up against her side so she can drop the sliced apples into the mixture. She only remembers to breathe when Penelope steps away.

“It’ll be good for you to be with them.” Penelope says, but Josie’s barely listening.

“Can you – um…” she gestures to the oven, “The pie.”

Penelope takes the direction, returning seconds later with the empty pie, placing it on the counter and watching Josie – too intently, for baking activities, might Josie add – as she turns the stovetop off and moves over to her. She prays she doesn’t drop the filling in her flustered state under Penelope’s close watch, spooning it into the pie casing.

“You could come, if you’d like.” she says, attempting to sounds casual, “I mean… you’ve already met everyone.”

She places the saucepan to the side, finding Penelope looking at her with surprise.

“I don’t think Lizzie would like that.” Penelope says.

Josie shrugs, “I would, though.”

Penelope smiles, genuine and warm, “I’m not saying I don’t want to.” She says, “Just… you should be with your family. I’m sure they miss your mom, too.”

Josie wants to argue her, manages to refrain from saying that being with Penelope makes missing her mother hurt a little less. But again, they’re not quite there, somehow. So instead, she admits defeat, turning her attention to threading the remaining pastry over the top of the pie. She feels Penelope watching her the whole time, and once the pie is in the oven, the silence between them grows louder.

“And now we wait?” Penelope says.

“Right.” Josie walks over to where Penelope rests back against the island, coming to stand beside her – again, their sides unnecessarily pressed together.

“How long for?” Penelope asks, voice slightly impatient.

“Maybe 20 minutes?”

“Cool.” Penelope nods, and they both glance to each other at the same time. Josie catches Penelope’s eyes flicker to her lips, and then she clears her throat, pushing off the island, “I guess I’ll go… read. Or something.”

Josie doesn’t know what she was hoping for (okay, she kind of does – she just won’t admit it), but she feels disappointed, watching Penelope awkwardly go to leave, “Okay.”

“Let me know when it’s done?” Penelope says, hovering at the door.

“Sure.”

Penelope doesn’t leave; she just stands there, looking at Josie like she’s attempting to read her. She doesn’t think it can be that hard to do – Josie feels like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve, here.

“Pen?”

“Hm?”

“… are you going?”

“Oh.” Penelope seems to snap out of her daze, nodding, “Yeah. I’ll… bye.”

She actually leaves this time, and Josie lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Although, she doesn’t get much time to catch it again, as moments later Penelope is walking back into the room.

Josie straightens up, frowning as Penelope approaches her, “Did you–”

Penelope crashes into her before she can finish the question – her hands grip Josie’s face and eager lips find her own in a kiss that knocks the breath right out of Josie all over again. She’s reciprocating before her brain has even registered what is happening – Penelope’s body curves into her, pressing Josie back against the kitchen island, and her hands leave Josie’s face, finding her hips and pulling her closer.

Josie sighs into the kiss as she feels Penelope’s tongue run along her bottom lip, dipping into her mouth. She always forgets what it’s like kissing Penelope until it’s happening again. How she can leave her boneless and at her mercy in a matter of seconds. When they were together, Penelope had always liked to take her time – to drag every movement out and tease Josie relentlessly, savoring just how much power she could hold over her. Right now, it’s like she can’t move fast enough, every push and pull against Josie dripping with impatience. One moment Penelope’s fingers are dipping beneath her shirt and raking over the bare skin of her stomach and the next, her hands are cradling Josie’s face. Fingers run through her hair, across her jaw, down her neck – her lips don’t leave Josie’s for a second of it.

Suddenly, and all too soon, Penelope is jumping away from Josie, face flushed and chest rising and falling heavily. Josie hears the sounds of people approaching then, and she has to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling two boys that enter the kitchen to get lost.

Penelope walks across the room casually, like she wasn’t kissing the life out of Josie seconds ago, and she retrieves a glass of water. The students are oblivious to the tense energy emanating off of Josie and Penelope, Christmas sweaters on and rummaging through the cupboards excitedly for snacks they usually wouldn’t dare indulge in so excessively – for those left behind during the holidays, Alaric allows a considerable level of leniency.

Josie only manages a quiet ‘Merry Christmas’ to the intruders, eyes unable to do anything but follow Penelope around the room. When the boys decide to perch themselves at a counter, Josie almost throws a whole cooking pot at their heads. Penelope rolls her eyes, looking mildly irritated herself, and seems to accept defeat – the moment lost to the intrusion now. She finishes her glass of water, watching Josie as she does so, and then she places the empty glass in the sink.

“Enjoy the pie.” She says, voice still unsteady, but laced with amusement – no doubt at Josie’s remaining state of complete, unsatisfied desire.

When she leaves, it takes everything in Josie not to follow her.

* * *

Josie doesn’t see Penelope again until she’s leaving for the Salvatore’s. She’s on her way out of the main building with her dad and Lizzie when Penelope comes down the front staircase, calling Josie’s name. All three of them come to a halt, but when Alaric sees who it is, he tells Josie they’ll wait in the car, taking the pie from her hands and forcing Lizzie along with him out the front entrance.

Penelope looks like she’s not completely sure why she’s there, but she continues down the stairs, coming to a stop in front of Josie.

“Sorry. I just… wanted to give you something before you left.” Penelope says eventually, and Josie frowns at the nerves in her voice. She watches as Penelope reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small, rolled up piece of paper, a red ribbon tied around it neatly. “I was going to give it to you on your birthday.” Penelope holds it out to her, letting out an uneven laugh, “But, obviously the whole buried alive thing got in the way, so… I guess it’s a Christmas present.”

Josie remembers Penelope standing in her doorway the night of her birthday, guilt settling in her stomach as she realizes she’d probably intended to give the gift to her then, before Josie shot her down. She accepts the piece of paper, fingers brushing Penelope’s as she does so, “You didn’t have to.”

“I know.”

Josie turns the rolled-up paper in her hand a couple of times curiously before her fingers find the ribbon, untying it. When she unfurls the paper, she finds a spell sheet. She knows what it is immediately – the chant is similar to the one Hope had her use when she was attempting to contact Landon.

“It’s my coven’s astral projection spell.” Penelope confirms, “I know it won’t be the same as actually having her here, but… it will let you be with your mom. You’ll be able to see each other and talk. Wherever she is.”  she sounds anxious as she explains herself, nothing like the girl who had kissed Josie in the kitchen. “It’s a pain in the ass to learn, but when done right, you can get a decent amount of time out of it.”

Josie turns to face Penelope, but she doesn’t know what to say to the gift; her heart pounds painfully in her chest, and her eyes prickle as they fill with quiet tears.

“I just thought… it might be a comfort–”

Josie steps into Penelope, her arms wrap tight around her waist and she buries her head into the crook of her neck, hoping that somehow, it communicates to Penelope what it means to her. “Thank you.”

Penelope relaxes into Josie’s hug, returning the embrace. They stay like that for a while, until Josie thinks she’s capable of stringing an actual sentence together. When she does release Penelope, though, she doesn’t step away from her. She tries to, but her body refuses to budge, and instead, her hand finds the back of Penelope’s neck. They’re still pressed up against one another, and their lips almost brush as she pulls her head away from Penelope’s shoulder, moving to rest their foreheads together.

Penelope runs her tongue across her bottom lip, and Josie’s eyes follow the action. Her hands now sit at Josie’s hips, her fingers brushing along the small amount of skin revealed between her top and her jeans. Josie struggles to gather her thoughts.

“Your coven won’t be mad at you for giving it to me?” she asks.

Penelope laughs, “They’re always mad at me. Might as well make it worth it.”

Josie smiles, allows herself to enjoy having Penelope like this for the moment.

“Pen?” Josie’s voice sounds foreign to her when it intrudes on the silence between them, strained and unsure.

“Yeah?”

Josie leans back so she can look at Penelope properly, and her stomach tightens at the weight of her gaze looking back at her. “I’m sorry I never fought for us.”

Hurt flickers across Penelope’s features, reminding Josie of what she’s spent a long time denying; that when they ended, she hadn’t been the only one left wounded. That Penelope isn’t the convenient bad guy she’d wanted her to be.

The horn of her dad’s car blares loudly from outside, undoubtedly courtesy of Lizzie, and Josie reluctantly steps away from Penelope. “I’ll see you later?” she says, if a little hopeful.

Penelope manages a nod, clearly still stuck on Josie’s apology, “Sure.”

Josie wants to say something else – hates that they keep leaving each other without having actually spoken about what the hell is going on. She wants so badly to stay here, to make sure that when she comes back, things won’t come crashing down around them again. But Lizzie persists on the car horn, demanding her attention.

“Go, Josie.” Penelope laughs softly, which provides Josie some comfort, “Have a good Christmas.”

So Josie leaves, all while knowing one thing:

She’s still in love with Penelope Park.

She figures she should probably start planning what to do about that, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am about 90% sure the next chap is the last, and I may do an epilogue. Anyway, leave a comment and let me know I'm not screaming into the void.
> 
> Also, happy Saltzman Twins/Penelope Park returns week! Catch me crying about it on @saltzpen


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas at the Salvatore’s doesn’t feel quite complete without Josie and Lizzie’s mom there; even Damon seems lost in the kitchen without Caroline at his side to torment. Still, it’s nice, being reminded of the support system she and Lizzie do have, even in the absence of their mother.

Throughout the day, Josie’s mind strays to Penelope just about every other minute. She’s not entirely sure what’s supposed to happen now. Penelope _had_ basically said she wasn’t ready to broach the topic of what they currently are to each other; but that had been when she’d thought Josie was dating Hope. Surely things are different, now? Either way, for Josie, she’s spent so long dancing around her feelings for Penelope that all she wants to do now is be with her.

She’s out on the porch, curled up with a blanket thrown over her lap. Everyone else is scattered inside, bellies filled from Christmas dinner and passing the time before dessert. The spell that Penelope gave her sits in Josie’s lap and she’s reading through it for the hundredth time today, distracted by the weight of the gift alone.

“What’ve you got there?”

Josie looks up at Bonnie’s voice; her aunt walks over to her with a soft – if slightly concerned – smile, a glass of whiskey in hand that Josie knows is one of many she has enjoyed with Damon and her dad today. Josie scoots over on the bench for Bonnie to slide in next to her, “A spell.” She says, handing the paper over to Bonnie when she raises her eyebrows in response.

Bonnie glances over the spell, “Astral projection.” she looks impressed, “Isn’t this a bit advanced for school?”

Without a coven, Bonnie’s the only real guiding figure Josie and Lizzie have had when it comes to magic; given her own youth as a witch, that comes with no small measure of protectiveness from their aunt.

“Actually, Penelope gave it to me.” Josie admits, “She – uh… she figured I could use it to see Mom sometimes.”

Guilt crosses Bonnie’s features – that same brand of sympathy in her expression that all of the adults in Josie’s life seem to wear whenever her mother gets brought up. She doesn’t bother calling her aunt out on it, knowing well by now that it’ll be useless. They all seem determined to keep this secret amongst them, no matter how much it hurts Josie and Lizzie to be lied to.

“Penelope, huh?” Bonnie smiles, tilting her head, “I thought you two broke up.”

“We did.” Josie lets out a laugh at the pointed expression Bonnie sends her.

“That’s a pretty thoughtful present for an ex.” She says.

“Yeah, well,” Josie sighs, “I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“You know, your mom could write a book on complicated romances.”

Josie lets out a dramatic groan, “Oh god, please don’t tell me another story about the weird history between all of you guys. I’m still dealing with last year’s reveal that Hope’s dad had a thing with her.”

“Well, if you worked on your poker face, Damon might not get so much joy out of telling you things like that.” Bonnie teases, “And I wasn’t going there, anyway. What I _meant_ , was that maybe we should see what your mom thinks.” Bonnie lifts the piece of paper up between them, grinning at Josie, “How about we give this spell a shot?”

* * *

They grab Lizzie before they move to Elena’s office and Bonnie teaches them the basics of the spell. Josie goes first, and after a light scolding from her mom – who appears to currently be in Paris, for some reason – she obliges and sits with Josie for as long as the spell will last. Josie wishes it were longer, but it’s enough, for now; within minutes of speaking to her, what doubt Josie had over her mom’s devotion to their family is forgotten.

When they inevitably reach the topic of Penelope, Josie rambles until her heart’s content, and Caroline listens to everything. She asks about Lizzie and Penelope, and whether Josie really believes she’s done the work necessary for it to work this time around. At the end of it, Josie’s left only more convinced of what she wants; and she knows what she needs to do, for it to happen.

She and Lizzie fall down onto the couch in the living room once it’s over; Lizzie sighs, her head falling onto Josie’s shoulder, teary-eyed and vulnerable.

“I guess I have to thank Penelope now, huh?”

Josie laughs softly, shrugging, “It would be polite.”

She doesn’t know when the right time is to have this conversation – doesn’t think there is a right time. She thinks now, at least, might be one of those rare windows where Lizzie _isn’t_ so firm in her opinion of Penelope.

Josie takes Lizzie’s hand, lets out a nervous breath, “I love her, Lizzie.”

She feels Lizzie stiffen next to her, and Lizzie pulls her head up to look at Josie, “You… you love…” Lizzie pauses, “Oh.”

Josie can see Lizzie’s brain attempting to work it out – honestly, she’s not sure why this is a surprise to her sister, but Lizzie has always been particularly talented when it comes to blissful ignorance.

“Look, I know you don’t get it. You don’t have to.” Josie continues, “But I need you to be okay with it. You’re my sister and my best friend and I just – I need you to have my back.”

“What happens if I don’t?”

Josie really didn’t want to be asked that question, but she persists. “It’s not going to change the fact that I want to be with her, and I plan on going for it. I want to be happy, Lizzie.”

“You think I don’t want you to be happy?” Lizzie says – and Josie’s not sure if how quiet she is right now is a good or a bad sign.

“No, I know you do. I just don’t think you always know what will make me happy.”

“And you think that’s Penelope.”

Josie smiles, “Yeah.” She rests her hand over Lizzie’s, “I’m not asking you to be her friend. I’m just asking that you accept that I want her in my life. And if you can’t do that…”

Lizzie’s expression darkens for a moment, “You’d choose her over me?”

“It’s not about choosing between you two. I’m not doing that.” Josie stresses, “I’m just… I’m choosing myself.”

Lizzie nods, and she doesn’t speak for a while. Josie begins to get worried when she finally looks up again.

“She loves you, too.” Lizzie says.

Josie had expected an argument, maybe even some yelling; she didn’t expect… _that_. “You think so?”

Lizzie rolls her eyes, “Really, Jo? She doesn’t even _try_ to be subtle.”

Josie laughs, “Is this your way of saying you’re okay with it?”

“I mean, I’m won’t be going for manicures with her. But if she’s what you want… I have your back. Always.” Lizzie smiles, and it actually seems genuine. Her hand squeezes Josie’s, “Be happy, Josie.”

* * *

When they get back home that night, like most Christmas’ they end up in the kitchen for hot chocolate. Alaric adds a bit of whiskey to his, and they share in stories about past holidays – this year, with a heavy theme of tales about Caroline. And it doesn’t hurt as much as usual, talking about their mom in her absence; why she’s gone might still be a mystery, but for tonight, that they got to share some time with her makes all the difference. Penelope’s role in making that happen is not something Josie’s heart will forget, and she only lingers for a short time before she collects two mugs and a flask of the hot chocolate and slinks off to find the girl.

It’s late, but Josie chooses to be selfish and knocks on Penelope’s door anyway; she hears movement inside, and then the door is opening. A cute frown forms on Penelope’s brow when she sees Josie; she’s in a cropped hoodie and sweats, and her laptop sits over on her bed, providing Josie the peace of mind that she hasn’t woken her.

“Josie?” she mutters out, like she’s not entirely sure she’s not hallucinating.

Josie forgets herself for a moment, in the relief of seeing Penelope after a long day of waiting this, “Um. Hey.”

Penelope smiles, tilting her head curiously, “What’re you doing here?”

“I brought hot chocolate.” Josie says, and she cringes at how eager she sounds as she lifts the flask, “I thought… maybe we could hang out?”

Penelope’s laugh is soft, “Hot chocolate, huh?”

“Made it myself.”

“Well in that case I can’t say no, can I?” Penelope teases, “Want to go to the roof?”

Josie hadn’t been particularly against curling up with Penelope in her bed, but she refrains from an overly forward response, nodding and waiting for Penelope to grab a jacket before they move upstairs. Once on the roof, they sit side by side, leaning into one another as they sip from their hot chocolates. A strange energy hums between them, and Josie can’t stop herself from constantly looking over at Penelope, warmth spreading through her every time she does. For once, Penelope doesn’t call her out on it.

“I spoke to my mom.” Josie says eventually.

Penelope’s eyes find Josie, an impressed quirk to her lips, “You already figured out the spell?”

“Bonnie helped me.”

Penelope nods, “Can I… ask how it was?”

“It was really nice.” Josie smiles, “Lizzie had some time with her, too. It made today feel less… I don’t know – I don’t want to say ‘empty’ because that’s unfair to the family we do have with us, it’s just…”

“She’s your mom.” Penelope shrugs, “You don’t need an explanation for missing her.”

The tightness in Josie’s chest at her need to explain herself immediately relinquishes, reminded that with Penelope, she can just be. She sighs, and she turns to face Penelope, nodding in agreement, “I know I already said it, but… thank you.” she says, “You don’t know how much it meant to me to be able to see her like that.”

“I’ll call it even with the hot chocolate.”

“I’m serious, Pen.” Josie grins, and her hand falls on Penelope’s thigh; she doesn’t think much of the contact, but the way Penelope’s eyes follow it makes it immediately feel less mundane. “Thank you.”

Penelope’s amusement has sobered, and she softens, eyes tracing Josie’s features, “You’re welcome.”

Josie’s not sure who was the one to start leaning in, or if it was the both of them, but they’re close now. Her nose brushes Penelope’s as they both hesitate, and this time, it’s Josie who caves. Her lips find Penelope’s and she does what she’s been wanting to do all day.

This kiss is softer – it doesn’t have that same eagerness, or the desperation that has fuelled every other moment of late. It’s firm but unhurried, and somehow, it’s all the more overwhelming. They take their time with one another; Josie melts into it and makes sure to savor every detail. Every small movement shakes Josie to her core, her lips trembling slightly when Penelope’s hand finds the back of her neck, mouth opening willingly when Penelope deepens the kiss.

When they part for air, it escapes Josie all in a simple breath, just before their lips are about to meet again.

“I love you.”

Josie didn’t exactly plan on saying it, but she doesn’t panic when it leaves her. Instead it feels like a weight off her chest; like she’s been holding it back all too long.

Penelope’s reaction, though, is different. She stills, but she doesn’t move away, her eyes finding Josie’s, watching her with what Josie thinks might be fear. When Josie imagined telling Penelope she still loves her, it hadn’t gone like this, with Penelope looking so unsure, like hearing those words were the last thing she expected. Her saving grace here, is that Penelope still clings to her. The moment barely lasts a few seconds, but it feels like longer, her admission lingering between them, their lips so close. And then Penelope’s kissing her again, like it never even happened.

Josie tells herself that it’s fine – maybe Penelope just needs some more time. She already knew that going in; just because Josie’s ready for more doesn’t mean Penelope is.

Still, that doesn’t do much to quell the painful ache in her chest as Penelope ignores it.

* * *

Josie spends most of the days following in the company of Penelope.

There aren’t any more ‘near-kisses’ or false pretences for being around one another; despite not actually talking about things, there seems to be a general understanding that they’re past pretending they don’t want one other. Actually, Penelope seems to have no worries kissing Josie whenever and wherever she wants.

They’ll be in the library with the intention of reading and Josie will end up on top of Penelope, their books completely forgotten in favor of a less-than publicly appropriate make-out session. Their bickering hasn’t completely stopped – it’s just about completely ridiculous topics, now, like whether or not they actually have school colors.

(Josie argues that they’re red, blue and yellow, and doesn’t think Penelope can really argue her, considering her parents _founded_ the school. Penelope stands firm in her belief that slapping the school crest on any random outfit means nothing for uniformity.)

_“I’m just saying… Hope could have been your sister.”_ Penelope teases one day, _“And you just spent a whole month making out with her.”_

(That time, Josie kisses Penelope just to stop her from getting too deep into what could be a disturbing conversation.)

Josie thinks Penelope just likes seeing her get worked up over things; when they used to be together, it had been different. Josie had been much less likely to bother getting into arguments, happy to avoid conflict if she could. Their change in dynamic, thanks to the constant fighting post-breakup, has led to Josie rarely holding back with Penelope. They’ve seen the worst sides of one another; there’s no need to save face anymore. Josie can see how Penelope practically lights up whenever she sees this feistier side of her, and given that it usually ends with them making out, Josie supposes she hasn’t done much to discourage the behavior.

Penelope’s strategy does backfire, sometimes. Like when she suggests that Lizzie has been in love with her all along, and Josie responds by launching a book at her face. It takes a while for Penelope to work back to kissing Josie again after that one.

Anyway, Josie can’t really complain; kissing Penelope Park is one of the greatest past times she’s ever had the pleasure of enjoying. There’s just that slight sting to it, having put all her cards on the table while Penelope continues to hold her own close to her chest.

In the absence of the rest of the students, it’s almost like living in their own little world, and it’s yet to feel quite real. Josie has no idea what’s supposed to happen when break ends and reality settles back in – honestly, Josie has so many questions and no clue when Penelope plans to provide answers.

Today, Josie is supposed to be spending time with Lizzie, intending to make up for all the time she’s spent with Penelope lately, no doubt leaving her sister bored out of her mind. So she’s surprised when she opens her door in the morning to find Penelope leaning against the frame. Her stomach flips at the smile on Penelope’s face, and she wonders if she should be worried for how familiar this is already becoming again.

“Good morning.” Penelope greets, and she peers over Josie’s shoulder, into the room, “Where’s Lizzie?”

“With Dad.” Penelope’s smile widens at that, and Josie laughs, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I’ll leave soon, I promise.” Penelope says, “I just wanted to ask you something first.”

Penelope’s in tight jeans and that small white button-up that provides too much of a peak of her bra for Josie to be held accountable for the fact that her fingers hook through Penelope’s belt loops and tug her inside. She give’s Penelope a soft kiss – longer than necessary, “What do you want to ask me?”

Penelope’s dazed for a moment, “Uh – well, I know you’re spending today with Lizzie.” She starts, blindly closing the door behind herself as she allows Josie to pull her further into the room.

“I am.” Josie’s slightly distracted by her mission to close the distance between them and her bed, and Penelope realizes before she can get them there.

Penelope lets out a soft laugh, bringing them to a halt, demanding Josie’s attention, “ _But_ I was wondering if you wanted to go into Mystic Falls with me tonight?”

Josie pauses. That’s a date, right? God, she doesn’t even know at this point. She’s not about to bring it up, considering how Penelope’s made a point of skirting around all serious conversations about them thus far.

“I’d love that.”

Penelope grins, “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“So… I’ll see you tonight?”

Josie hasn’t released her hold on Penelope’s jeans, and she starts leading them back towards her bed again, “Yeah, tonight.”

Penelope laughs, but allows Josie to pull her along this time, “I said I’d leave you alone today.”

“There’s still time to do that.” Josie assures her, “Later.”

“Later?”

Josie nods, “Later.” She pulls Penelope into her, and Penelope doesn’t miss a beat in meeting Josie’s lips with her own.

This keeps happening, lately. Now that she has the option to kiss Penelope whenever she wants, Josie finds herself unable to resist doing just that whenever she can. Penelope presses up against her, walking Josie backwards, hands cupping her face like she has no intention of ever letting go.

When the backs of Josie’s knees hit her mattress, she wastes no time in falling back onto the bed, bringing Penelope with her, lips never separating as they shift to the head of the mattress. When Penelope moves to straddle her, hips grinding down ever so slightly, any semblance of sensical thoughts are completely wiped from Josie’s mind.

Penelope pushes her down, pressing her into the mattress, swallowing Josie’s gasp as her hands find their way up Josie’s shirt. Penelope’s teeth sink into her bottom lip and her tongue finds its way into Josie’s mouth soon after; Josie doesn’t even register the impatient whimper that she lets out until she feels Penelope’s soft, throaty laugh against her lips. It’s moments like this, with Penelope smiling into their kiss and touching Josie like she’s holding the world in her hands, that Josie stops caring about the uncertainty surrounding them.

Unfortunately, their moment is brought to an abrupt end just as Josie’s fingers are fumbling with the buttons of Penelope’s shirt.

“Oh, my _GOD._ ”

Penelope groans, breaking the kiss and dropping her head to crook of Josie’s neck in defeat. Josie spares a moment to close her eyes and wish her sister away, but leans up, peering over Penelope’s shoulder, Lizzie is standing in the doorway, hands over her eyes and face bright red. Before she can get an apology out, Lizzie is voicing her outrage.

“SERIOUSLY?!” Lizzie exclaims, “Why _here_? You literally have Penelope’s room all to yourselves!”

The sigh Penelope lets out tickles Josie’s neck, and Penelope pulls away, sitting back on her knees; she doesn’t climb off of Josie yet, though, “You could have knocked.”

“It’s _my_ bedroom.” Lizzie drops her hands from her eyes, “And _get off my sister!_ ”

Penelope grins down at Josie, then looks back to Lizzie, “Why? Jealous?” she turns back to Josie, “I told you she’d fall in love with me if I kissed her.”

“Oh my god. Please no.” Josie pushes Penelope off of her at that, ignoring the way her body protests at the separation. From the shit-eating smile on Penelope’s face, apparently the jibe was totally worth it.

“Josie, why are you trying to make the antichrist with Satan when we said we’d spend the day together?”

Josie rolls her eyes at her dramatics, “We weren’t even doing anything.”

“You were on your way to it.”

“If only.” Penelope sighs, grinning at the disgusted expression Lizzie sends her in response.

She turns to give Josie a final kiss, and Josie laughs when Penelope tries to deepen it (purely to annoy Lizzie), pushing her back as Lizzie lets out a repulsed sound.

“I’ll see you tonight?” Penelope says hopefully.

Josie feels like a child for how giddy it makes her, “Yep.”

“God, you know you don’t get the ‘honeymoon phase’ the second time round, right? This doesn’t count as a new relationship.” Lizzie says.

Josie doesn’t fail to see the way Penelope’s smirk falters the moment the word ‘relationship’ falls from Lizzie’s mouth, catching it just before Penelope turns from her and goes to leave. Josie’s too preoccupied by the reminder of her infuriating situation to hear whatever teasing remark Penelope makes as she passes Lizzie.

“Gross.” Lizzie scowls, shutting the door firmly behind Penelope once she’s left, “Look, I told you I was okay with all of this but that doesn’t mean I want to watch you get lucky.”

“Sorry.” Josie’s laugh is half-hearted, “I didn’t mean to.”

“How do you ‘not mean to’ I–” Lizzie pauses, frowning at Josie, “Wait, are you okay?”

Josie’s surprised Lizzie caught the shift in her mood so fast; her first instinct is to shrug it off, to not bother Lizzie with talk about Penelope. But Lizzie’s been persistent so far in wanting to support her, so Josie decides to throw caution to the wind.

“I told her that I love her.” She says.

Lizzie takes a moment – she doesn’t look particularly shocked, “Okay…” she looks confused as she walks over to Josie, sitting next to her on the bed, “And that is a problem… why?”

“She hasn’t even acknowledged it.” Josie says, “And every time we get close to actually talking about what’s going on with us, she finds a way to steer us away from it.”

Lizzie frowns, “What the fuck?”

“ _Yeah_.” Josie huffs, falling onto the bed, “My thoughts exactly.”

“Well… you _know_ how she feels, though.”

“Do I?”

“Josie, she’s all over you.” Lizzie says it like it’s so simple – like Josie’s relationship with Penelope hasn’t always been anything _but_ that.

“Yeah but what if that’s just… it? What if I misread the situation and she’s not actually interested in anything past a hook-up?”

“I mean, I don’t want to give Satan any credit here, but I feel like she’s not stupid enough to think you guys can be ‘casual’ after all the drama you’ve been through.” Lizzie says, “Also, that Christmas present wasn’t exactly subtle.”

She has a point; Josie had been thinking along similar lines before, which is why she felt so confident telling Penelope she loved her. She hadn’t actually thought there _was_ a risk in voicing it; she’d _thought_ they were on the same page.

“Before Christmas, we kind of talked about things. I asked her where we stood with each other and she basically said she wasn’t ready to talk about it.” Josie says, “But that was when she still thought I was dating Hope. I’d thought it’d be different now.”

“Maybe she just needs time.” Lizzie shrugs, “You know she has feelings for you, Jo. She wouldn’t have gone through all of this if she didn’t. Maybe she’s just… being cautious, so she doesn’t get her hopes up.”

“ _Why_ though? I told her I love her. Shouldn’t that be enough to convince her that I want to be with her?”

“I can’t believe _I’m_ telling _you_ this, but it’s not always as simple as that. Especially with the history with you guys.” Lizzie reaches for Josie’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly, “Just give it some time, okay?”

It’s possibly the most rational advice Lizzie has ever given Josie; usually, she’d already be down the hall yelling at Penelope for upsetting her. Josie knows Lizzie has a point, as well.

It’s just hard to ignore the part of her that is panicking at the thought that after all this, Penelope doesn’t really want her anyway.

* * *

With Christmas over, Mystic Falls has transformed once again, this time with decorations in preparation of celebrating the new year. Josie and Penelope take an Uber into town, and Penelope doesn’t take Josie’s hand as they walk into the Mystic Grill, but she does walk impossibly close to her, their hands bumping with every pass.

Inside, Josie recognizes familiar faces from Mystic Falls High School; she wonders how often her own mother occupied the bar when she was younger. Penelope turns to her, a playful smile on her lips. “Do you feel like drinking?” she asks.

Josie laughs, “We don’t have fake ID’s.”

“Ye of little faith.” Penelope tuts, “So? Do you?”

Josie knows the face of a scheming Penelope, so she rolls her eyes and obliges her, “Sure. Impress me.”

Penelope grins, and she leads the way to the bar. As they wait for the bartender to make his way over to them, Penelope hands Josie a blank white card. Before she can question the bizarre gesture, Penelope is smiling as the bartender comes to a stop in front of them.

“Two glasses of bourbon, please.” She says with complete confidence.

The bartender looks between them unsurely, “You got ID?”

Penelope doesn’t falter, “Sure.” She reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a similar blank card to Josie’s, only by the time it reaches the bartender’s hands, it looks as real as ID’s come. He scrutinizes the card, looking for any reason to deny their request, and Josie waits for the rejection.

It doesn’t come.

“Alright. Thank you… Penelope Park.” He smiles, holding Penelope’s gaze as he hands back the card; Josie doesn’t fail to notice how much flirtier his tone is, now that he believes she’s legal, and she’s scowling at him when his attention turns to her.

Josie hands over her own card, as Penelope had, and again, it’s changed before the bartender looks down at it. He takes a bit longer with Josie’s – probably to spite her for the glare she still has trained on him – but eventually he hands it back over.

“Coming right up.”

When they have their drinks, Penelope leads the way to a booth, and as Josie falls slides in next to her, she turns a critical gaze to Penelope, “What was that?”

Penelope laughs, “Impressed?”

“You just used magic in public.”

“You sound impressed.” Penelope decides.

“When did you even learn that?”

“You’re not the only one who learnt a thing or two since we broke up.” Penelope takes a sip of her drink, shrugging, “It’s just an illusion spell. My sisters taught me it.”

“What if you hadn’t been able to hold it?”

Penelope scoffs, “Are you really questioning my stamina?” she pauses, and Josie practically _sees_ her mind register the double entendre.

“Subtle.” Josie rolls her eyes at the sly smile on Penelope’s lips.

Penelope’s laugh brings out Josie’s own smile, “Are you going to rat me out to the headmaster?” she teases.

Josie takes her first sip, practically recoiling at the taste, “If you order me another bourbon? Yes.”

“No taste.”

“Well I _am_ on a date with you.” Josie means it to be a joke, but she realizes her mistake when Penelope actually _pales_ at the word ‘date’. She wants to grab Penelope and demand why she’s being so weird about all of this, but she remembers Lizzie’s advice. Josie’s never considered herself an impatient person, but she thinks this is a wait that might drive her insane.

Penelope takes a moment, and then she’s skirting around the topic, like it never happened, “So, want to learn the spell?”

Josie lets it go for now, “Obviously.”

* * *

While Josie did want to learn the spell, it is also a convenient excuse to hold Penelope’s hand as she siphons her magic.

She forgot what it was like to have Penelope’s attention like this; the intensity in how she exists in Josie’s space makes her feel like the centre of the universe. Her eyes barely leave Josie, and she’s always leaning into her, speaking so close that it’s a miracle Josie’s able to even focus on anything other than Penelope’s lips. Throughout dinner and further drinks, they stay tucked away in the booth, toying around with the spell in-between conversation.

Josie has one hand in Penelope’s and one hovering over the blank card, the illusion dimming in and out for a moment before she’s able to hold it.

Penelope’s laugh is soft, her head resting in her spare hand as she watches Josie; her knee bumps Josie’s under the table. “I don’t know why I’m still surprised when you figure out spells in half the time it takes a normal witch.”

Josie fights a smile, eyes focused on what now looks like an ID card on the table, “I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. It took me days of practice to get this far.” Penelope says, and her voice takes on a more serious tone, “You’re talented, Josie. It’s okay to acknowledge that.”

Josie’s never been good at taking compliments, so she just shrugs, moving the conversation elsewhere, “Dad agreed to put illusion spells into the curriculum.” She says, “I’ve been trying to get him to let us learn more practical magic, so we can actually protect ourselves if something goes wrong.”

The small smile Penelope wears says she knows what Josie is doing, but she obliges her, “Not a bad idea, in a school full of vampires and werewolves.” She says, “You know, if you ever want to, you can meet my coven. They might be painfully obnoxious, but they have some valuable things they could teach you, if you really want to branch out.”

Josie doesn’t understand how Penelope is able to make such a proposal – practically planning a future where Josie meets her _family_ – and also have trouble just calling this a date. Still, her heart nearly jumps out of her chest at the offer. “Yeah. I think I’d like that.” She answers genuinely.

There’s a moment between them then, where the spell is forgotten, and Penelope’s painfully entrancing eyes are fixed so firmly on Josie that she nearly forgets to breathe. The warmth of her hand in Josie’s, the soft touch of Penelope’s knee resting against her own under the table, even the way her voice fills the space between them; Josie’s never felt another person’s presence as vividly as she feels Penelope’s.  

Penelope is the one to catch herself, and she breaks eye-contact, gaze falling to their hands. Josie thinks she’s going to pull away, so she moves to link their fingers together before Penelope can get a chance.

“So,” Penelope starts, and her voice is uneven now, “Lizzie knows that we’re…”

Josie refrains from rolling her eyes at the fact that Penelope can’t even finish that sentence, “I told her.” She confirms, “I didn’t think… did you not want me to?”

“No, it’s fine.” Penelope looks genuinely surprised, “I just didn’t expect it.”

“I’m not going to hide my feelings for you, Pen.” And Josie means it in relation to Penelope as much as she does to Lizzie. She’s not entirely sure if telling Penelope this is what the girl actually wants, considering her apparent fear of acknowledging their situation. But maybe she needs to hear it. “I’m done with trying to make everyone else happy.”

Penelope nods, a soft furrow to her brow, “And what did Lizzie say?”

“She loves me.” Josie shrugs, “She wants me to be happy.”

Penelope seems to think on it for a while, and Josie makes the mistake of holding out hope that she might finally give Josie something to work with here. But she doesn’t; instead, she offers Josie a smile, and she pushes the conversation forward once more.

* * *

When they get back that night, Josie is stuck feeling more conflicted than ever. Lizzie was right: she can see how much Penelope cares for her in every moment they spend together. Somehow, that knowledge just makes standing on this precipice so much more torturous; how long is she supposed to wait before Penelope catches up to her?

They dawdle on their way back into the school, Penelope takes Josie’s hand in her own and finds any excuse to postpone their goodnight. It’s so easy to forget the uncertainty that shrouds them when she has Penelope like this, kissing her goodnight and looking at her with such reverence that it’s a wonder Josie even _has_ doubts. But then Josie has to stop herself from whispering an ‘I love you’ and reality settles in.

They’re lingering in the hallway outside Penelope’s room, and Penelope’s about to move inside when Josie refuses to let go of her hand, forcing Penelope to turn back to her with a confused expression.

She takes a moment to muster the courage to speak – stifling the embarrassment that rises in her over the last time she declared her feelings for Penelope and receiving complete silence.

“I meant what I said before, Pen. I’m not going to hide how I feel about you.” Josie says, hoping her voice sounds confident, despite how vulnerable she feels, “I don’t get what’s going on here or why you’re…” she sighs, “But I’m here. I want to be with you, and that’s not changing. So if I have to wait for you to be ready for that, then… I’ll wait.”

Josie doesn’t stay for Penelope’s response – she doesn’t need one. She just leans in, presses a kiss to Penelope’s cheek and turns to go.

“Josie?” Penelope calls her back before Josie can really get far. She’s watching Josie with that quiet apprehension again as Josie returns to her.

Then, she’s reaching for Josie, fingers tangling in her hair and bringing their lips together. It’s like she’s trying to pour every ounce of her feelings for Josie into this one kiss, and somehow, in this moment it’s enough. The tension falls from Josie’s body and she kisses Penelope back just as fiercely, overwhelmed for not the first time in her life by how this one girl is so firmly rooted in her own heart. She thinks she can’t blame Penelope, for being scared of it. It terrifies Josie, too; how easily loving someone like this could break her. She just doesn’t know how to do anything else.

She can feel Penelope trembling against her and Josie hates that she can’t just snap her fingers and rid Penelope of whatever it is that’s holding her back. Instead, she settles for sliding her arm around Penelope’s hips and pulling her closer, breathing her in and deepening the kiss, begging her to believe the devotion in every brush of Josie’s lips.

They break for air and Penelope’s forehead rests against Josie’s; Penelope closes her eyes as though in a desperate bid to gather herself, and all Josie can do is stare at her. Eventually, Penelope takes a deep breath, licking her lips and opening her eyes to meet Josie’s gaze; she looks as undone as Josie feels.

The request leaves Penelope’s mouth at barely a whisper, “Can you stay?”

Josie can’t believe there was a time when she didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I lied when I said this was the last chap lmao. It got too long so now we're looking at one, maybe two more if it stretches out as long as this one did.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this addition to the posie we finally got back this week! Thanks for the all the comments on last chap idk why y'all liked it that much lmao. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought of this one :)
> 
> Twitter: saltzpen


	11. Chapter 11

It’s a strange thing when you have everything you want, but it comes without the one thing that would allow you to trust it’s here to stay.

Josie is trying so hard to give Penelope the time she needs, but every day that passes without a confirmation of how the other girl feels, her resolve is chipped away just that little bit more. She hates that she’s having so much trouble with it; she wishes she was fine with this, fine with the freedom of kissing Penelope any time she wants and spending their days lazing in bed together, like everything has finally fallen together for them. But Josie’s never been good at just throwing caution to wind, and the thought that she could be falling into Penelope recklessly here, and rejection could be right around the corner, absolutely terrifies her.

Josie at least takes comfort in the fact that for all her avoidance of telling Josie how she feels, Penelope seems to show it in other ways. They’ve barely separated since the night they returned from Mystic Falls; even when they force themselves out of bed to seek food, Penelope is always making sure she’s touching Josie in some way.

Like right now, lying in bed together. It’s mid-morning and Josie has been awake for a while, reading as she waits for Penelope to re-join the land of the living with her. She sits propped up on pillows and Penelope, upon protests of Josie moving away from her earlier, has positioned herself so she lies between Josie’s legs, stomach-down and half on the mattress, half splayed over Josie. Penelope’s arms are wrapped tight around Josie’s middle as she sleeps, head resting on Josie’s stomach, and in her restlessness the sheets have been kicked far down the bed, resting over her hips. Josie has no clue how Penelope isn’t freezing, but she’s not mad about the view; she finds herself glancing over the bare, tanned skin of Penelope’s back not for the first time this morning.

“What time is it?” Penelope mumbles out against the fabric of Josie’s hoodie eventually, voice thick with sleep.

Josie peers over her book, down at Penelope, who is still clinging to sleep, “It’s definitely not early.”

Penelope grunts, her hold on Josie tightening for a moment, and then her head is lifting up, and those magnificent hazel eyes finally open to peer up at Josie. She doesn’t say anything, just rests her chin on Josie’s stomach and watches her quietly.

Josie realizes she’s read the same sentence ten times over now, thanks to how completely useless Penelope’s stare manages to render her, so she discards her book to the side. From the lazy smile on Penelope’s lips when she looks back to her, Josie figures it’s exactly what she wanted. Her hand reaches out to Penelope, fingers sweeping across her cheek softly and brushing wayward strands of dark hair from her face. She loves seeing Penelope like this – all messy hair and sleepy smiles; there’s a certain intimacy to having her in such a vulnerable state that Josie can never quite get enough of. Her heart practically sings at the way Penelope leans into her touch, tilting her head slightly to press her lips to Josie’s wrist.

There’s the muffled sound of yelling in the hallway outside, and Penelope’s face immediately scrunches into one of annoyance, “What’s that?”

Josie smiles, “It’s New Year’s Eve.” She says, which is explanation enough.

Because they spend so much of their lives here – and it’s not exactly typical for supernatural teens to have the greatest home lives – most students end up returning before the New Year so they can celebrate with their friends. Which means that this little bubble she and Penelope have created for themselves is going to burst the moment they step out of Penelope’s room. Josie’s can’t deny the measure of concern she feels for what that means for them. She’d been hoping Penelope would have broached the topic of what they are by now, but Penelope’s strategically avoided all conversations of the sort.

“Oh.” Penelope rolls her eyes, “Joy.”

“Like you haven’t missed having your minions at your beck and call.” Josie teases lightly, and Penelope laughs.

“Well, they would have come in handy when we needed food.” She grins up at Josie, and she seems so light and carefree that Josie would give anything to stay here in this room and keep it this way. The thought of how things might change once they leave is haunting her more by the second.

Penelope pulls at the bottom of Josie’s hoodie, pouting up at her, “Didn’t I already take this off you?” 

“It was cold.” Josie giggles as Penelope pushes the fabric up her body, and she trembles slightly at the cool air on her bare stomach and the warm, feather-light kisses from Penelope that press to her skin moments after.

“I have some other solutions to that.” Penelope says, her fingers tapping a playful rhythm against Josie’s ribcage as they sneak their way up her sides.

Josie grins, hands tangling in Penelope’s hair, “We can’t stay in here all day.” She says reluctantly, “Hope’s back and I told her I’d stop by to see her.”

Penelope’s lips still against Josie’s stomach, transforming into a scowl as she peers up at her, “Well that’s one way to kill the mood.”

“Sorry.” Josie laughs, brushing her finger over Penelope’s frown as though to will it away, “Quit glaring. I already told you, she’s my _friend._ ”

“The fact that she’s had her tongue down your throat multiple times doesn’t exactly thrill me.” Penelope drawls.

“Yeah, well…” Josie’s finger traces across Penelope’s jaw, eventually travelling over her bottom lip, “You’re going to have to get over that, like I have to get over the fact that you literally let a vampire feed on you as a form of foreplay.”

An amused smile tugs at Penelope’s lips, “Touché.”

Josie watches Penelope curiously for a moment, wishing she could read what is going though the other girl’s mind. She’d like to think she can take Penelope’s contentment in here, with her, as a sign that she shouldn’t be worrying. But things are different outside this room; she just wants to know what the hell Penelope’s plans are for when they do walk back into reality.

She feels like it might be necessary. Perhaps being back in the real world will push Penelope to actually start thinking about moving them past their current undefined state. It’s been too easy for the both of them to ignore it, being stuck behind closed doors like they have.

“MG texted me earlier.” She says, “He said there’s going to be an old mill party to celebrate tonight.”

Penelope doesn’t look even slightly interested in the idea, leaning down to kiss Josie’s hip, “And we are… staying here?” she queries hopefully.

“We’ve barely left this room in days.”

“And?” Penelope smiles against Josie’s skin, “That’s worked out pretty great, in my opinion.”

Josie can’t really argue that, but she attempts to stay firm. “Pen.” She catches Penelope’s gaze, unable to not smile back at the girl.

Penelope watches her, like they’re in a battle of wills. Josie apparently wins, because Penelope lets out a defeated sigh, “You want to go?”

 “It’s New Year’s Eve. We can’t just stay here again.”

“That’s debatable.” Penelope shrugs, and she sits up, moving to straddle Josie instead. She takes Josie’s jaw in her hand, coaxing her towards her, eyes falling to Josie’s lips, “Do I get to kiss you at midnight if I say yes?”

Josie grins, closing the distance between them to kiss Penelope, “You’d get to do that even if you said no.”

* * *

“I’m sorry, who are you and what are you doing in my bedroom?”

Josie rolls her eyes at Lizzie’s teasing as she walks into their room, cheeks reddening, “Ha. Ha.”

Lizzie is sat at her vanity, watching Josie with a judgmental gaze, “I’m surprised you even knew how to find your way back here.” She continues, “I’d figured you’d forgotten.”

“Like you’re not about to do the exact same thing now that MG’s home.” Josie says, squeezing Lizzie’s shoulder in greeting as she passes, “Shouldn’t you be with him right now, anyway?”

“He’s getting back in an hour.” Lizzie stops applying mascara for a moment to glance over at Josie curiously, “So, Satan told you she loves you?” 

Even the thought of it has Josie’s stomach jumping. “Um… no?” she’s collected a towel and her shower caddy, but at Lizzie’s tone she moves to sit on the edge of her bed, knowing this isn’t about to be short.

“Huh.” Lizzie doesn’t even attempt to hide her disapproval.

Josie rolls her eyes, “What, Lizzie?” 

“Nothing.” Lizzie says, “Just, personally _I_ wouldn’t be spending every night with her if she was still avoiding actually making things official with you guys.”

“You’re the one who told me to give her time.”

Lizzie scoffs, “Yeah, but that didn’t mean you should have sex with her. That’s like… _rewarding her_.”

“It’s not like that and you know it.” Josie says, although she can’t deny, it does kind of increase her existing concerns.

“I know you’re in love and all that but she’s still human, Josie. If she’s scared of actually committing, and you’re giving her all the good parts of being together anyway, why the hell would she bother changing things?”

Josie hates that she can see Lizzie’s point. She’d been working on the idea that being so intimate with Penelope was a good thing; she hadn’t thought so much about how it might work against her.

“I don’t like it when you make sense.” Josie mutters.

“Yeah, well, I’m in a stable relationship now, Josie.” Lizzie grins over at her sister, “If you got your head out of your ass maybe you could be, too.”

* * *

Thanks to proceeding to spend most of her day in Penelope’s bed, despite Josie’s claim that they couldn’t do exactly that, by the time Josie has showered and dressed it is already dark. The hallway is filled with the sounds of music from various students’ rooms and excited chatter for the nearing party, and Josie is almost at Hope’s room when she sees Penelope up ahead. She’s amongst her group of friends, who are already dressed for the night, and Penelope breaks away from the crowd to approach Josie, meeting her halfway.

“I was going to come get you.” She says when she reaches her, an easy smile on her face.

Josie laughs, “Yeah, well, because of _you_ , I still haven’t even seen Hope yet.” She says, hand grasping Penelope’s wrist and pulling her to the side of the hallway, out of the way of those walking past them. “Don’t think I didn’t know exactly what you were doing, by the way.” Penelope hadn’t exactly been subtle about her mission to keep Josie to herself all day.

Penelope leans back against the wall, arching a brow, “I don’t remember hearing any complaints from you at the time.”

Josie’s smile pulls into a grin, “I’m going to try to get her to come to the party, so I might be late.”

“Want me to wait for you?”

Josie’s eyes glance over to Penelope’s friends, “I don’t think your fan club would like that.”

“And _I_ don’t care.”

The firmness in Penelope’s response fools Josie for a moment into letting her heart skip a beat, “No, it’s fine.” She assures her, “I’ll meet you there, okay?”

Penelope nods, offering her a small smile before leaning in to kiss Josie’s cheek, “You bet.”

When Josie leaves Penelope (not failing to notice the curious stares she receives from Penelope’s friends when she passes them), she completes her journey to Hope’s room. At her knocks, Hope opens the door and quirks an eyebrow at Josie, “You know you said you were coming to see me at _11 in the morning_ , right?”

Josie holds her arms up sheepishly, and Hope begrudgingly accepts her hug, “I made it eventually.”

“I’m not going to the party.” Hope says, when they separate, and she turns on the spot, walking back into her room. Josie takes it as her cue to follow.

“You know, I could be here just to welcome you home.”

“Except you’re not.” Hope says matter-of-factly, looking back at Josie and daring her to deny it.

“Okay, fine. But I _am_ glad you’re home, too.” Josie says, “How was your break?”

“Really good.” Hope says, and it’s genuine. She always seems lighter when she returns from visiting her family, Josie thinks the distance gets to Hope more than she lets on sometimes.

“So, why’d you come home early if you’re not going to celebrate with your best friend?”

“We’re best friends now?” Hope grins over at Josie, “I’m honored.”

“You can show it by coming to the party with me.”

Hope laughs, “I came home early because I wanted to see Landon. Not because I wanted to deal with drunk teenagers.”

“You could be one of those drunk teenagers, if you let yourself have a good time just this _once._ ”

“This wouldn’t happen to be another ploy to get Penelope jealous again, would it?” Hope says, “Because I’m in too deep with Landon now.”

“Actually… that’s kind of why I’m late.” Josie’s cheeks burn at the surprised look Hope sends her, “We’ve been hanging out a lot over break.”

“Define ‘hanging out’.”

Josie purposefully avoids Hope’s eyes, finding the girl’s family pictures particularly interesting, “Like… I’ve been in her bed most of this week.” 

“ _Oh_.” Hope pauses, “So I guess you made your decision about her, then.”

“We’re not together. Not yet, anyway. I mean – I told her I loved her, but she needs… _time_ , or whatever.”

Hope scoffs, “Because you guys haven’t had enough of _that_.”

Josie only manages a half-hearted smile, “She’s just been cagey when it comes to actually talking about things. Tonight’s going to be… interesting. I doubt she’ll act like she has been, now that everyone else is around.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Josie chooses that moment to look over at Hope with her best attempt at puppy-dog eyes, “I would be if I had my best friend by my side.”

* * *

Predictably, Hope caves and agrees to come along – but not without Landon, and by proxy, Rafael, tagging along. Unlike the usual sneak-out when it comes to parties at the old mill, tonight no one even attempts to mask their escape from the dorms. Alaric tends to turn a blind eye at this time of the year – probably more due to his own preferred interest in spending the night drinking with Damon instead of chasing students around campus.

Raf acts strange the whole walk to the old mill, and Josie is relieved by the end of it to find that his affections are firmly fixed on Hope – despite how oblivious both Hope and Landon appear to be of the fact.

When they arrive at the party, it only takes a moment for Josie to spot Penelope amongst the other students. It’s not hard; Josie knows to simply look for a large pack of girls and she can expect Penelope to be at the centre of them. Penelope’s friends are crowded amongst her, looking ever the devoted followers, their eyes never leaving her as they hang on her every word. Josie can’t really blame them; if anyone understands the allure of Penelope Park, it’s her. But it was always intimidating, dating someone at the centre of such a thing.

Penelope is already looking at her when Josie locates her amongst the flock of witches, and Josie is surprised when she actually moves out of the group, walking over to her.

“Three parties in one year?” Penelope says when they reach them, eyes on Hope, “Careful, Hope, if you keep this up, people might start thinking you’re one of us.”

Hope smiles – forced and with a measure of bite to it – back at Penelope, “Aw, you kept count?” she says, “And here I thought it was Josie you liked.”

Penelope seems amused by the response, and then her gaze finds Josie, smirk softening into a smile as she steps forward and presses a kiss to the corner of Josie’s mouth, “I’ll get you a drink?” she offers, in a completely different tone to the sarcastic drawl Hope received. Josie knows she should probably disprove of it, but there’s something about being the one to bring out the softer side of Penelope that she’s never quite gotten over.

“Sure.” Josie can feel Hope’s eyes on her as she smiles back at Penelope like a love-sick puppy, watching the girl disappear back into the party to retrieve a drink for her.

“Does she kind of terrify anyone else?” Landon comments as Penelope walks away.

Rafael laughs, and Hope looks at her boyfriend like he’s the most endearing thing she’s ever laid her eyes on. She then nudges Josie pointedly, “And you needed me here… _why_?”

Josie remembers herself enough to let the confusion settle in over Penelope’s bold display of affection. She’s not mad about it; but it’s… odd, considering Penelope’s current mission to avoid actually committing to anything with Josie. One glance over at Penelope’s friends tells Josie they all noted the exchange, as well.

“I didn’t expect her to be like… that.” Josie responds.

“Right.” Hope rolls her eyes, “Well now that you’ve dragged me here for no reason, I’m not about to spend the night sober, so let’s follow your girlfriend, shall we?”

“She’s not my–” Josie sighs at Hope’s pointed look, gives up, and follows Hope, Landon and Rafael into the old mill.

They lose Rafael the moment he’s spotted by his pack – which Josie thinks is probably a good thing, given how poorly he’s doing at hiding his feelings for Hope _without_ alcohol. When they near the drinks table Josie spots Penelope amongst the crowd; the second thing she notices is a blonde vampire right next to her.

Before Josie can make a move to disrupt the pair, Penelope is already walking away from Cassie. Josie scowls at the way Cassie’s eyes follow Penelope’s retreating form, and when Penelope reaches her, she places a drink in Josie’s hand with a knowing smile.

“ _Josie_.” she prompts.

“Hm?”

“She was just saying hi.”

“I’m sure she was.” Josie’s reply drips with sarcasm; she’s never had the best relationship with jealousy, but with Penelope, it’s different. It hadn’t even been an issue when they’d first been together; Penelope never gave Josie any reason to think she was anything other than completely in love with her. But now, with the lack of any actual commitment on Penelope’s part echoing through her mind, just seeing Cassie looking at Penelope has her wanting to go over and wipe that insufferable smirk off of the vampire’s face.

She doesn’t even register Penelope stepping into her personal space until Penelope’s hand is drumming a pattern against her collarbone, “Weren’t you the one this morning talking about how I ‘need to get over Hope’ and you need to get over Cassie?” she says.

Josie bites her tongue from letting a remark slip about how much easier that would be to _do_ if she wasn’t the only one between them to have declared her love to the other.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry.” Josie mutters out unconvincingly.

Penelope, of course, catches it. She watches Josie, looking conflicted – Josie wonders how aware Penelope is of just how much this situation is getting to her. And then she surprises Josie for the second time tonight; with Cassie’s eyes still on them, her hand finds the back of Josie’s neck, and she pulls her into a kiss. It’s long enough to make sure no one around them has any doubt about what they’re witnessing, like Penelope’s making a point. She doesn’t pull away until Josie has relaxed into the kiss, and when she does Josie has all but forgotten about Cassie.

Penelope pays no mind to the prying eyes on them, and she simply smiles back at Josie before taking her hand and leading her through the party. Turns out, all of Josie’s expectations for tonight were completely wrong.

* * *

Penelope doesn’t leave Josie’s side again after that, and she doesn’t appear to practice any sort of restraint in the affection she shows her. She holds her hand, steals kisses from her, and treats Josie like she’s the only person at the party that matters. And yeah, Josie loves every second of it – but she’d be lying if she said it doesn’t utterly confuse her.

The beginning of their night has been spent with Hope and Landon, and eventually MG and Lizzie – who ended up being later to the party than Josie, for reasons she’d rather not think about. Josie doesn’t know _how_ , but the unlikely group seems to work well in one another’s company. Sure, Penelope, Lizzie and Hope are in a constant cycle of traded barbs, but Josie swears the trio are actually enjoying it.

Right now, Lizzie and MG are versing Hope and Landon in a game of beer pong – which has unsurprisingly grown worryingly competitive, and most definitely has included magical tampering on both sides – and Penelope seems to be thoroughly entertained as she goads both Hope and Lizzie further into their rivalry. Josie isn’t paying much attention; she’s in that state of drunkenness where she has tunnel-vision, and the only thing she’s really thinking about is where Penelope’s hand has snuck up the back of her shirt, fingers tracing soft patterns against Josie’s bare skin.

Penelope leans close to Josie, lips brushing Josie’s ear as she speaks, “I should spend time with the girls.”

It takes Josie a moment to register her words, and when she does she can’t help the childish pout at the thought Penelope leaving her side. “Okay.” She says anyway – because _patience_ , and all that.

But Penelope doesn’t release Josie’s hand when she goes to leave, instead she leads Josie away with her and over to her friends, like it’s nothing at all. Josie’s surprised to find that it feels exactly like that, too. Penelope’s friends immediately make room for the pair when they reach the tight knit group, and where Josie had expected awkwardness, she finds easy conversation. At times she catches someone curiously glancing to where Penelope holds her hand, but no questions about it are directed their way. Josie wonders if they’ve already spoken about the situation with Penelope – she’s not sure if the idea of Penelope telling her friends about them makes her happy or frustrated over the fact that Penelope can’t seem to do the same with her.

But it’s… nice, being like this with Penelope again. Having her at her side, claiming her in small gestures that shouldn’t mean much but somehow mean everything – like in the small smiles she sends Josie between conversations, or the hand she keeps rested at the small of her back, reaching to squeeze Josie’s hip whenever she finds something amusing. Amongst a group of witches demanding Penelope’s attention, there’s something about being the one girl who receives it without thought. It’s almost enough to make her forget about the uncertainty surrounding them right now. Almost.

Josie leaves Penelope to get them another round of drinks, and she swears Cassie wasn’t there when she initially set eyes on the drinks table, but when she reaches it, the girl is standing purposefully in her way.

While they’ve attended the same school for years, Josie’s rarely had anything to do with Cassie at all; after watching her chase Penelope around, Josie has no desire to change that, either.

“Sorry,” Josie says insincerely, attempting to move past her.

Cassie remains in her way, “What’re you drinking?” she smiles sweetly at Josie, and Josie’s stomach turns as her brain immediately sends her the image of Penelope’s blood on her lips.

Josie’s jaw tightens, but she plays along, offering Cassie a tight-lipped smile, “Just two of the punch.”

“Two?”

“I said that, didn’t I?”

Cassie’s smile widens, and she turns to the table, filling two cups with punch. She turns back, offering them to Josie only to pull the cups back slightly before Josie can grab them. “So, you and Penelope must have had a cosy Christmas.”

It’s times like these that Josie wishes she were more like her sister – if she were Lizzie, Cassie would probably have a drink thrown on her already for simply existing in her orbit.

“Do you want something?” Josie prompts, unable to hide her irritation.

Cassie is looking at Josie like she’s a new toy, her head tilting as she regards her with an amused expression, “You know, it’s funny… when I asked Penelope if she wanted to catch up later, she didn’t mention that she was already spoken for.”

It stings, and Josie knows Cassie sees the way her expression falls, “What’s your point?”

“I don’t really have one.” Cassie laughs easily, “Honestly, I just felt I should check with you, first, so I don’t step on anyone’s toes. But clearly, it’s not serious with you two, so… I guess it’s anyone’s game.”

“And what about _any_ of Penelope’s behavior tonight makes you think that?” Josie bites out, and she can’t stand that Cassie is barely even phased by her.

“Well, you know Penelope Park better than anyone, Josie. When she wants something, she goes for it.” Cassie says, “So surely, if she wanted to be with you, she would be.”   

Josie hates that she’s letting the girl get under her skin – that she’s managing to amplify concerns she’s been trying not to entertain. But what Penelope hasn’t said, she’s shown; and Josie grips to that as she manages to keep her composure under Cassie’s mocking gaze. “You’re right. I do know her.” Josie steps forward, taking the cups from Cassie’s hands, and trains what is her best impression of her sister’s own scathing glare, “That’s how I know that at the end of the night, she’ll be with me.”

Finally, Josie sees something other than amusement in Cassie’s eyes – a hint of irritation, the glimpse of a threatened girl. She smiles, tight and artificial, “Let’s not keep her waiting, then.”

* * *

When Josie gets back to Penelope (unfortunately, with Cassie in tow), the witches have begun one of their drinking games. This time it’s a battle of telekinesis – two witches stand on either side of the table trying to push the same shot glass to the witch opposite them; the witch to end up with the shot glass in front of them has to drink it.

Penelope reaches for Josie the moment she sees her nearing and Josie indulges herself in a smug look over to Cassie as Penelope pulls her into her side. Penelope doesn’t even spare Cassie a glance, smiling at Josie as she accepts her drink before turning back to the game.

Cassie mingles amongst the group with an ease that only serves to annoy Josie more, thinking of just how much time she’s actually spent with Penelope to get to this point. Every time Cassie’s eyes stray to Penelope from across the group, Josie resists the urge to send the vampire up in flames.

Eventually, it’s Josie’s turn to play the game, and Penelope wordlessly stretches her hand out for her, offering all the magic she requires. Josie’s about to take it when she catches Cassie’s eye, and maybe it’s the alcohol that urges her to do it, but instead of taking Penelope’s hand she turns, grabs Penelope’s face, and pulls her into a firm kiss.

She lets herself enjoy it for a moment – how content Penelope is to melt into her, kissing her back without a second thought. Then Josie remembers the actual point, and she takes what she needs, feeling Penelope’s breath hitch as Josie siphons her.

When she pulls away, Penelope is wide-eyed and breathless. Josie wins her round, but Penelope doesn’t allow her a celebration, and she’s being pulled away from the group before her opponent has even thrown back her shot.

(Josie declares her own private win when she glances behind them to find an irritated Cassie watching them leave.)

Josie laughs as Penelope leads them into the woods, and her lips are meeting Penelope’s just as the girl’s hands settle at Josie’s waist, pressing her up against the trunk of a tree. She tastes like the punch they’ve been drinking, and she lets out a soft whimper as Penelope’s teeth pull lightly at her bottom lip.

“I know what you were doing.” Penelope says when she releases Josie’s lips. Her hand cups the back of Josie’s neck, thumb stroking over Josie’s pulse as she presses a kiss to the corner of her jaw.

Josie shivers at the feeling of Penelope’s hot breath against her skin, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She attempts.

Penelope laughs, lips brushing down Josie’s neck, “I thought I made it obvious that you don’t need to worry about her.”

“Yeah, well,” Josie’s voice wavers at the feel of teeth against her throat, “She didn’t seem to understand that.”

“You never used to get jealous.” Penelope comments, and it’s clearly supposed to be offhanded, but it irks Josie.

She doesn’t mean to let it slip – the combination of alcohol and Penelope’s lips on her skin is clearly affecting her. “I used to know where I stood.”

Penelope pauses, pulls back to meet Josie’s eyes. There’s a painfully long silence between them, where Josie is able to gather herself, arms remaining around Penelope’s waist as she rests back against the tree. She attempts an expression of indifference, but she knows it’s useless, under Penelope’s probing stare.

“You don’t need to worry about that.” Penelope says, and it’s sincere, and it’s the most she’s given Josie so far, but it still falls _so_ short.

Penelope reaches a hand up, tucking Josie’s hair behind her ear, “What’re you thinking?”

Josie lets out a soft, half-hearted laugh, “That I wish I knew what _you_ were thinking.”

Penelope smiles, kisses her cheek, “ _I’m_ thinking,” She purrs playfully next to Josie’s ear, “About how much better bringing in the New Year will be if you let me have you to myself.”

* * *

Because Josie apparently has no self-control whatsoever, they end up leaving the party before midnight. They stumble their way through the woods, stopping numerous times as they get distracted in stolen kisses and desperate touches.

When they get to Penelope’s room, Penelope pushes Josie up against the door the moment it closes behind them. She kisses Josie like it’s the only thing she was put on this earth to do, and then her lips move across Josie’s jaw, down her throat. Josie can barely breathe under Penelope’s touch – wonders how it is this girl remembers every single inch of her body like the back of her hand.

Penelope sinks to her knees and _oh God_ Josie doesn’t think she’ll ever get that image out of her head. Hands push Josie’s shirt up her stomach, lips kissing their way across her skin, teeth biting lightly at her hip. Josie’s fingers tangle in Penelope’s hair and her head falls back against the door as Penelope takes her time with her.

Somehow, amongst the haze, doubt comes trespassing into her mind to ruin everything. Josie remembers Lizzie’s words, and even Cassie’s – and that nagging voice of her own that rings through her brain, telling her that continuing like this with Penelope is only going to keep them on the same path of uncertainty.

It takes everything in her to not just let this happen and give into the part of her that is so happy to take Penelope in whatever capacity she is willing to give her. But Josie doesn’t just want Penelope temporarily; she wants all of her, for as long as possible. And maybe that means fighting what she wants right now.

She doesn’t know how she manages out the word, “Wait.” Almost takes it back the moment Penelope pulls away, dark eyes looking up at her questioningly.

“Are you okay?” Penelope asks, and it’s so _caring_ that Josie almost just drops the whole thing.  

Josie wonders if she sounds as reluctant as she feels when she speaks, “I think we need to slow down.”

“… oh.”

 Josie feels Penelope’s breath against her skin, and she closes her eyes, forcing herself to continue, “I just… if you’re still not ready to talk about things, I feel like we shouldn’t be sleeping together. It’s not helping.”

Penelope takes it in, and eventually she nods, rising from the floor, “Okay.” She says easily, and she presses a kiss to the corner of Josie’s mouth. She turns to walk towards her bed, and Josie grows more infuriated with every step, “Want to just watch a movie?”

Josie doesn’t hear the question; she’s too preoccupied with the fact that Penelope could spend all of tonight acting like her girlfriend, yet still won’t just have a simple conversation with her about her feelings.

“ _Seriously_?” Josie says, exasperated.

Penelope turns, frowning at Josie’s change in attitude, “What?”

Josie lets out a disbelieving laugh, “I just – I don’t understand you.”

“Okay…” Penelope’s arms cross in front of her chest, like she knows she’s not about to like where they’re heading, “What don’t you understand?”

“How about the entirety of tonight?” Josie says, “One minute, you can’t even call a _date_ a date, and the next you’re happily acting like a couple in front of all of your friends.”

“What did you want me to do? Ignore you?” Penelope’s already using _that_ tone – the one reserved for times when she has no plans on actually hearing the other person – when she’s fully settling into her stubbornness.

“I don’t get how you can act like that and still be scared of just having an actual conversation with me.”

“Isn’t this a conversation?”

Josie stares at Penelope in disbelief, and she stares stubbornly right back at her, “Are you really not going to even try to understand me?”

“I just don’t see what the big deal is.”

“The ‘big deal’ is I have no idea where I stand with you and you refuse to give me _anything_ to even start figuring it out!”

“Well, I was ready to go down on you a minute ago, so I think you’re safe to assume I’m not exactly indifferent to your existence.”

Josie takes a moment to stop herself from throwing something in Penelope’s direction, “You’re an ass.”

Penelope’s obstinate façade falters for a moment, her eyes glancing to the side, jaw tightening, “You said you were okay with giving me time.”

“And I meant that.” Josie’s growing frustrated now, “It’s just – I don’t get how you can ‘need time’ but be okay spending every minute with me and taking me on dates and publicly acting like we’re together. It doesn’t make sense. I mean – I couldn’t even do anything about Cassie tonight because technically we’re not together. _Technically_ I don’t get to be jealous over a girl throwing herself at you because right now all I really am is some glorified fuck buddy.”  

“That’s not what you are.”

“Well what else am I, then?”

“Can’t you just take how I’m _acting_ as a sign? Since when is that not more important than some bullshit title–”

“I told you I love you, Penelope!” Josie’s voice is strained, and she hates how pathetic she sounds, how her lip trembles slightly as she speaks, “And you didn’t say _anything_!”

Josie doesn’t intend the next question – didn’t realize how much the thought has actually been haunting her until it leaves her lips. “Do you ever actually plan on being with me?”

The question hangs between them, and Penelope breaks first, tearing her gaze from Josie, eyes falling to her feet. She doesn’t say anything, which Josie thinks might be worse.

“So, what?” Josie lets out a hollow laugh, “Has this all just been some game to you?”

“No.” Penelope says, and it’s firm, “You know it hasn’t.”

“Then what was the point of all of this, Pen?” Josie sounds desperate – honestly, kind of is. It feels like the first time they broke up – that sick feeling in her stomach over the inability to actually make sense of what is going on. “I was moving on and _you_ chased me. _You_ put the mistletoe up, _you_ kissed me, _you_ wouldn’t let me go.” She steps forward, into Penelope’s space, forcing the girl to look at her, “What was the point?”

Penelope looks half her size under Josie’s stare, so completely different to the confident girl who’d had Josie in her arms all night. Josie knows she’s not getting a real answer even before the weak, “I don’t know.” falls from Penelope’s lips.

Josie swallows, attempts to steady her voice, ignoring that lump in her throat and the stinging of her eyes, “You know, the thing is, I hadn’t even doubted that you felt the same way about me. I still don’t think I do.” she says, “I think that might be worse. Knowing you love me, but also knowing that you’re choosing not to.”

The sound of fireworks in the distance fills the room, and Josie’s heart breaks a little at the reminder of how she’d thought she’d be greeting the new year.

She lets out a breath, feeling defeated as Penelope simply looks back at her, eyes filled with guilt, “I won’t beg you to love me, Pen. And I could spend every day trying to convince you that we should be together but honestly? I shouldn’t have to.” Josie says, “You once told me that I needed to go after what I wanted. Now it’s your turn. If you want me, if you want us… it’s up to you to take it.”

Josie doesn’t know what else to do. She finds herself stepping closer, moving to press a kiss to Penelope’s cheek, and her heart aches at how Penelope leans into the touch ever so slightly, “Happy New Year, Penelope.”

Josie leaves, and Penelope doesn’t follow her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst kids. Penelope spent all that time thinking Josie had to change and forgot that she has her own insecurities to work out. 
> 
> Almost definite next chapter is the last (finally).
> 
> Anyway, please let me know your thoughts/feelings - you guys probably think it means nothing but it really does make writers happy to see they're not just posting to a brick wall lmao. Also helps with wanting to actually update, honestly.
> 
> Until next time, i'll be over on @saltzpen :)


	12. Chapter 12

Loving Josie Saltzman is the easiest thing Penelope Park has ever done.

It’s also the hardest.

To say Penelope doesn’t know why she let Josie leave last night would be a lie. She knows why. For all the time she’s spent planning on getting Josie back, she never actually planned for she’d do when it happened. As it turns out, she’s doing… nothing.

She had Josie right there, offering her everything with only the simple request that Penelope let her know she felt the same, and all Penelope had been able to do was stay silent and watch her walk away.

The thing is, loving Josie _has_ always been easy. Letting herself be loved by her? Less so.

When Penelope attends breakfast the next morning, it’s purely in hopes of catching a glimpse of Josie. She’s not sure what she expects – not sure what she’ll even do if she does see Josie. Maybe it’s just what she deserves; she made this mess, the least she can do is not hide from it.

Penelope gets to breakfast early – not having slept much at all anyway – and she sits at one of the large dining tables and waits. Her friends start joining her, hungover but still managing excited conversation about the events of the night before. They catch onto Penelope’s mood fast and she’s spared any questions directed her way as she barely even touches her food, eyes fixed to the doors of the dining hall.

Lizzie arrives in arm with MG and given that she doesn’t immediately attempt to fight Penelope, she’s guessing she hasn’t spoken to Josie yet. The thought of Josie going back to her room alone last night makes Penelope’s stomach turn, and for the millionth time she curses herself for not just having the guts to chase her. For still, even now, not moving to do so.

When it becomes clear Josie isn’t going to be making an appearance, Penelope does what little she _is_ capable of doing, and she finds herself walking over to where Lizzie and MG sit.

MG looks surprised to see her, “Peez?” he greets unsurely when she comes to a stop at their table.

Lizzie turns to look up at her, and she frowns at the lack of Josie at her side – reminding Penelope of the fact that before she’d ruined everything last night, she and Josie had seemed as in sync as ever.

“Where’s Josie?” Lizzie says, with that _tone_ like she already knows something has happened. Maybe it’s twin sympathy pains, or maybe it’s just her general tendency to think the worst when Penelope is involved. Either way, Penelope can’t really blame her this time.

“Probably in her room.” Penelope says, her voice sounds foreign to her, raw and tired, “You should be with her.”

Lizzie’s expression darkens, “What happened?”

Penelope hesitates – isn’t really sure she’s capable of relaying the situation back to Lizzie, “Just… we fought, and I don’t want her to be alone so can you-” she lets out a tight breath, “Can you just go and find her, please?”

Lizzie looks like she wants to stay there and beat an explanation out of Penelope, but her worry for Josie must triumph the urge, and she rises from the seat without another word, making a quick exit from the dining hall.

Penelope stands there, feels MG’s eyes on her and meets his concerned gaze, “I’m fine.” She lies, hearing how unconvincing she sounds.

“Uh huh. Sure.” MG watches her cautiously, “So… is this a ‘I need to talk about it’ brand of ‘fine’ or more of a ‘please take my mind off it’ thing?”

“When have I ever wanted to talk about things?” Penelope says, in an attempt at humor.

MG shrugs, offering her a smile, “Well, I guess I’ll have to take your mind off it, then.”

* * *

Given that the alternatives are either to drive herself insane alone in her bedroom thinking about Josie, or deal with her friends gossiping all day about last night’s party, Penelope indulges MG in his offer. Which leads to her being out near the lake on the edge of the school grounds, with the company of most of the vampire cohort.

It’s no surprise that the party was Kaleb’s idea – or that most of the vampires haven’t even returned to school since the old mill party, thanks to a healthy supply of alcohol and blood bags that seem to be littered about the place in the wake of their antics. It’s not where Penelope would usually choose to drown her sorrows, but she’s already on her second cup of cheap beer and it’s barely past midday, so it’ll do.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” MG says as he sits down on the grass next to Penelope, “Or should I come back after a few more drinks?”

Penelope shrugs, looking down at the cup of beer in her hand, wondering if it’s bad if she gets blind drunk before dark, “Not much to talk about.” 

“Maybe we could start with why you’re not spending today with your girlfriend.”

Penelope lets out a sigh, “I don’t have a girlfriend.” She mutters as she lifts the cup to her lips, taking a generous swig.

“You sure?” MG bumps her shoulder with his own, “From where I was standing last night, it kinda looked like you had one.”

“Yeah, well… we hadn’t really gotten to that part.”

“Why not?”

“I never said I wanted to talk about this.”

MG laughs, “Yeah but the way I see it, the sooner I get you to get your head out of your ass and chase your girl, the sooner I get _my_ girl back.”

“Consider this me doing you a favor, then.” Penelope’s barely even capable of the teasing tone the comment requires, and the fact that MG lets it slide tells her how utterly pathetic she truly must seem right now. She lets out a defeated sigh, eyes cast out to the lake, and the admission falls from her unsteadily, “I love her, MG.”

MG doesn’t say anything, and when Penelope looks to him, his playful expression has softened, “Okay. So, you love her.” He says, “Then why aren’t you with her?”

Penelope doesn’t know why she actually answers him. Maybe in hopes that if she tells MG, she’ll be able to make some kind of sense of it all herself. Maybe even find reassurance that she’s not making a mistake.

“I guess, I just… don’t know if I can give her that part of myself again.” She says, “At the Christmas dance, when I thought she was with Hope…” Penelope’s jaw clenches at the memory, feeling her that dread swimming in her stomach all over again, “I don’t know – I guess before then, I’d believed it was just a matter of time until we’d be together again. Even with all the bullshit with Lizzie, I’d never doubted how Josie felt about me. But seeing her with Hope… that was the first time I actually felt what it would be like to lose her. And that…” she lets out an empty laugh, “God, I felt like I’d had my heart ripped out. It would have ruined me, MG. I could feel it just… _picking_ at me, turning me into this person that I never thought I’d be. Someone weak and damaged and _pathetic_.”

“But you didn’t lose her.”

“Not then.” Penelope shrugs, “But one day, I could.”

“So, because of some small chance of it not working out, you’re just not going to go for it at all?” MG doesn’t try to hide how little sense the idea makes to him.

“I don’t _do_ unpredictability, MG. I make plans, and I make sure that there’s nothing out there that can throw me off. But I can’t… I can’t control that with Josie.” Penelope swallows the lump in her throat, “I love her. And I’d do anything for her, and I can’t change either of those things.” She’s says, “But the one thing I do have control over is whether I allow that to be something that can hurt me.”

 “So, what? You’re gonna run away and lose her anyway?”

Penelope shrugs, manages to find that colder part of herself, steeling her expression into one of someone whose mind won’t be changed, “At least this this way, it’ll be my choice.”

When she looks at MG, her guards almost fall. He looks at her like she’s a complete lost cause, and it almost has Penelope wanting to take it back and be the stronger person he apparently thought she was.

“This is Josie we’re talking about.” MG says, “Since when has she not been worth the risk for you?”

It hits Penelope too hard for her to answer him. But the answer’s there – undeniable as it weighs on her. But Penelope doesn’t say anything before a familiar voice brings her and MG’s conversation to an abrupt end.

“Do my eyes deceive me, or is _Penelope Park_ at a vamp party?”

Penelope doesn’t look to Cassie as she reaches them, watching MG instead as his eyes follow where Cassie’s hand dances over Penelope’s shoulders teasingly, moving down Penelope’s spine as she sits at her side, “If you wanted to see me, you could have just said so.”

She sits close, leaning into Penelope with a playful smile, and Penelope catches MG’s disapproving stare. When she doesn’t push Cassie away, MG lets out a defeated sigh, “Don’t say I didn’t try.”

Shame creeps up on Penelope as she watches MG leave, and then Cassie is demanding her attention.

“Let me guess: you and little miss perfect broke up again?”

“She has a name.” Penelope bites out, “And we weren’t together.”

Cassie rolls her eyes, “Sure. So, are you here to drown your sorrows, or celebrate your freedom?”

“Neither.”

“And yet you’re here on New Year’s Day, with _Josie Saltzman_ nowhere to be seen.” Cassie says Josie’s name with a tone of complete contempt that makes Penelope consider driving a stake through her, “After the performance you two were putting on last night, it doesn’t quite add up.”

“What do you want, Cassie?” Penelope snaps, lacking the energy to entertain the usual mindless snark with the girl.

“To know if I’m wasting my time flirting with you today.” Cassie shrugs, “You see, I have a thing about making sure I start the year off well. If you’re up for it, we can make sure that happens for the both of us.”

Once upon a time, Penelope would have happily taken up the opportunity for such a distraction. Right now, however, she can’t even manage to feign interest. She sighs, lifts her cup to her lips and polishes off her drink, “I’m not your girl, Cassie.”

“Good. I’m not asking you to be.”

Penelope manages an amused smile, “I meant, I’m not interested.”

“Because of Josie?”

Penelope doesn’t answer, although she’s sure Cassie gets it from the silence anyway.

Cassie laughs, “Have you seriously not gotten tired of chasing after her like a lost puppy yet?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Penelope says, more defeated than annoyed.

Really, what she should be doing right now is flirting with Cassie and driving a wedge between her and Josie for good. The more distance she gets from the idea of being with Josie, the better. Sure, it won’t feel the same. But it will be something. Something safe, something predictable.

Although for the life of her, Penelope can’t find it in herself to do it.

Cassie reaches to tuck Penelope’s hair behind her ear, and she rolls her eyes when Penelope shrinks away from the action, “She’s just one girl, Penelope. There’ll be another one after her, and another after that.”

And she’s right; there could be other girls after Josie.

The thing is, Penelope doesn’t want there to be one.

She just wants Josie.

Penelope sighs, “And what if there isn’t? What if she’s it for me?”

Cassie takes a moment, and the laugh that follows is one of disbelief, “Are you really going to make me play the voice of reason right now?”

Penelope shrugs, tossing her empty cup to the side. She sits in silence, feeling Cassie watching her, and then she hears a heavy sigh of defeat.

“Okay, fine. I guess we’re doing this.” Cassie huffs, and she turns to face Penelope completely, “Look, I don’t know the first thing about Josie Saltzman. I don’t particularly like her, either. But I do know that what I saw last night was a girl who’s in love with you.” she says, “So if you really believe that she’s your ‘one person’, what the hell are you doing here?”

The sincerity in Cassie’s voice surprises Penelope, “Doesn’t that advice kind of work against your entire agenda?” she jokes lightly – although it’s slightly lost to the fact that Cassie’s not exactly speaking nonsense.

“I mean, sure, you’re hot. Have I liked flirting with you this past month? Obviously. And annoying the headmaster’s daughter has been a bonus. But it’s not like I’m in love with you.” Cassie snorts at the thought, and then sobers at Penelope’s frown, “Sorry, no offence. I just know a lost cause when I see one, and you’ve never been exactly subtle about the Josie thing.”

Penelope allows a small smile, and Cassie’s hand falls over her own. This time, though, it’s not a part of some move; nothing more than a small gesture of comfort.

“I have an eternity to fall in and out of love, Penelope. But for you… life’s short.” Cassie says, “So if you really think you’ve found the one person you’re supposed to be with, why are you wasting your time not being with her?”

Penelope doesn’t know what to say to that. Doesn’t really have any answer for her.

The answer to MG’s question is still there, though, sitting on Penelope’s mind.

The irrefutable fact that for Penelope, Josie is worth a million heartbreaks and more.

It’s that thought that makes her next decision easy.

* * *

Penelope is still a planner. So even with her decision to storm her way back to school and declare her love for Josie, she makes sure to first stop at her own room. Because she’s not about to show up at Josie’s door mildly drunk and smelling like beer.

When she’s managed to tidy herself up just enough that she doesn’t look a complete disaster, she goes to leave. Only, when she opens her door, she finds Hope Mikaelson looking back at her.

“Are you lost?” is Penelope’s immediate, impatient response to the sight of her.

Hope rolls her eyes, “Can I come in?”

Penelope’s first instinct is to laugh, and then she realizes Hope’s serious, “Uh, _no_ , obviously.”

“Seriously, Penelope.”

“Seriously, Hope.” Penelope says, “Have you hit your head? If you’ve forgotten, I don’t like you.”

“You don’t like that I’ve kissed Josie. There’s a difference.”

“Not really, actually.”

Hope crosses her arms in front of her chest, stubbornly remaining in place, “Well I’d thought we were kind of becoming friends before the mistletoe thing.” she says, “We did fight off zombies together.”

“Yeah, well, then you shoved your tongue down my girlfriend’s throat.” Penelope smiles sarcastically back at her, “That didn’t really make me want to be your friend.”

“Girlfriend, huh?” Hope arches a brow, “Have you told Josie that? Because she’s spent the entire day locked up in her room thinking something entirely different.”

Penelope’s stomach drops, “How is she?”

“How do you think, Penelope?”

Penelope admits defeat then, pushing away from her door and walking inside, allowing Hope to follow her, “Shouldn’t you be thanking? If I’m out of the way, you can finally make your move.”

“I’m not into Josie.” Hope drawls, “I have a boyfriend.”

“Sure you do.” Penelope turns, hands resting on her hips and smirking at Hope, “What? You want me to believe the girl who’s been a voluntary loner her entire life has not one but _two_ romantic interests now?”

“Again, I’m not into Josie.” Hope reminds her, “And you literally hung out with me and my boyfriend last night.”

“Hate to break it to you, but MG’s dating Lizzie, not you.”

“Not MG. _Landon_.”

Penelope pauses, frowns, “That curly-haired guy?”

“Yes.”

Penelope thinks back to last night – which is hard to do, considering she hadn’t really paid much attention past Josie. “Huh. Well that’s… interesting.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing.” Penelope shrugs, “Just… wasn’t he yelling about being a bird last night?”

“A phoenix.”

Penelope’s unable to stop her laugh, which garners a scowl from Hope, “Sorry. I’m sure you and Fawkes make a great couple.”

“Did you just reference Harry P–” Hope lets out a frustrated breath, “Whatever. That’s not the point.”

“Ah, your point.” Penelope nods, “Let me guess, you’re here to follow through on your threat. Defend Josie’s honor in true tribrid fashion?”

“Well that depends on whether or not you’re going to fix it yourself.”

“What happens if I don’t? Are you going to storm in and play the white knight?”

Hope ignores the last part, “You’re really just going to let her go? After everything, you’re giving up?”

Penelope laughs, “Of course I’m not.”

“You’re a–” Hope frowns, looking confused as she actually registers Penelope’s response, “Wait, what?”

If Penelope didn’t have more important Josie-related things to do, she’d mess with Hope for a bit longer.

“Of course I’m not letting her go.” Penelope repeats, “I’m in love with her.”

“But… I thought–”

“I know you’re used to being the hero, but I really don’t need a Hope Mikaelson pep talk to get me to realize I fucked up.” Penelope teases, “I _had_ been on my way to grovel to Josie for forgiveness before you stormed in here.”

“Well.” Hope looks stumped, “I guess… you should go and see her, then.”

“I’m so glad I have your permission.”

Hope rolls her eyes, “You know, we’re going to have to learn to get along if you’re planning on dating my best friend.”

“Best friend, huh?” Penelope smirks, “Have you told Josie that?”

A soft laugh falls from Hope’s lips at the repeat of her own words, “So what do you say? Truce?”

“But I enjoy our bitchy banter oh so much.”

“For Josie.” Hope reminds her.

Penelope smiles, noting that the only other time she and Hope have found themselves on the same page, it also had to do with a certain other witch. “For Josie.” she agrees.

That small moment of sincerity is lost when Penelope’s door flies open, an infuriated Lizzie storming into the room.

“ _Alright_ , Satan, this is your last chance to have my sister in your life because the next time you make her cry, I promise I’ll find a way to send you back to the pits of hell where you belong.”

Penelope watches Lizzie with a bored expression, “Why do you people think you can just walk into my bedroom?”

“Shut it, Lucifer. This isn’t a cute little conversation where we share barbs and you get to feel smug about making bitchy comments.” Lizzie glares at her, “This is about _you_ messing it up with Josie once again and how – despite the fact that she definitely deserves better – I’m not going to let you just run away from the love of your life just because you’re too obsessed with your mean girl act to actually be happy with her.”

“Did you just call Josie the love of my life?” Penelope sees Hope roll her eyes.

Lizzie pauses, turns a sharp glare to Penelope, “She is, isn’t she?”

“I just didn’t think you thought that much about me.”

“I think about _Josie_. And for some reason, you’re the one who makes her happy, so _yeah_ , even though my gag reflex struggles with it, I’ve thought about it and come to the conclusion that somewhere in your cold black heart you’re in love with my sister.” Lizzie huffs, “Therefore, I’m going to fix your mistake, even though neither of you idiots deserves my help.”

“Uh, Lizzie–”

“Not now, Hope.”

Penelope sends Hope a pointed, pained smile, and remains silent as Lizzie begins her pointless speech about all the reasons why Penelope should be with Josie. Which, to be honest, Penelope actually kind of enjoys hearing. She makes a note to recall this moment the next time Lizzie complains about seeing them kiss.

“Lizzie?” Penelope attempts eventually.

“Did I say it was your turn to speak?”

“I was just wondering how much longer this was going to take.”

“ _Seriously_? What could be more important than this?”

Penelope makes a show of looking deep in thought, “I don’t know, maybe telling Josie I love her.” 

Lizzie’s head snaps around to look at Penelope, “What?”

Penelope’s eyes roll so far into the back of her head that they almost get stuck there, “God, I’m not doing this again.”

“What do you mean?”

“She already decided that she wants to be with Josie.” Hope explains.

“Oh.” Lizzie pauses, looks to Hope with a confused frown, “Well– that’s… good.” She actually looks slightly _disappointed_ by the news, “So… you don’t need me.”

“Not really, no.” Penelope says.

Lizzie pouts, “Well… what’s your plan?”

Penelope frowns, “I just told you. I’m going to tell her I love her.”

“And?”

“And what? Isn’t that what she wants to hear?”

“Well yeah, but you can’t just show up and declare your love for her in her dorm room. That’s so… _pedestrian_.” Lizzie’s nose scrunches up in disgust, “You can’t tell me you don’t have an actual plan in place? No grand gesture? Nothing?”

“I don’t need a grand gesture I–” Penelope’s feeling slightly worried now, and she looks to Hope, “I don’t need that, right?”

Hope shrugs, “I mean, Landon wrote me a song. That was cute.”

“I’m not writing a song.”

“Well you can’t put her through all you have and expect her to be happy with an ‘I love you’ during Netflix and chill.”

“What _will_ she be happy with?”

Lizzie looks positively thrilled, “Look who needs me after all.”

* * *

Loving Penelope Park is the most infuriating thing Josie Saltzman has ever done.

Really. Of all the well-adjusted people out there, why is it that she had to fall – not once, but _twice_ – for the popular girl with a fear of commitment?

At least this time around, the heart break is like greeting an old friend.

Josie lies in her bed and replays last night through her mind over and over again. A part of her thinks she never should have said anything. She should have just taken what Penelope was willing to offer her and learnt to be happy with it. Because is not having her at all _really_ better?

She hadn’t fully intended to end things. But like most of their arguments, once it started, there was no way of stopping it without something breaking. She’d _hoped_ that ‘break’ would be in the form of Penelope telling her how she feels. But Josie fell in love with the world’s most stubborn witch, so of course it ended in Josie breaking instead.

Now, Josie’s taken to self-imposed isolation until the thought of running into Penelope in the hallway does make her immediately want to curl up in a ball and cry. Lizzie had helped this morning, after she came running into their bedroom apologising for being MIA with MG. With her arrival had come a fresh round of tears, however, after Lizzie let it slip that it was upon Penelope’s direction that led to her coming to find Josie.

Hope stops by at one point, and eventually Josie manages to convince her and Lizzie that she doesn’t need to be babysat, and she’s left to her isolation once more.

When Lizzie returns to their room late in the afternoon, she’s wearing a wide smile that Josie assumes must have something to do with MG.

“You don’t have to keep checking on me.” Josie says as Lizzie walks into their room, eyes returning to the movie playing on her laptop.

Lizzie doesn’t respond, pausing to listen for a moment, “Weren’t you watching _The Notebook_ when I _left_ you?”

“… yes.”

“Oh my god. This is worse than I thought.”

“It’s a good movie.” Josie grumbles, “If you just came here to judge my coping mechanisms feel free to leave.”

“Coping mechanisms?” Lizzie rolls her eyes, “So, you’re throwing in the towel? After making all that fuss over me accepting you and Penelope, you’re just letting her go.”

“It’s not letting her go if I never had her to begin with.” Josie says, “I want to be with her; she’s the one who can’t handle it. I just… decided to make it easier on the both of us.”

“And what happens if she moves on with someone else?”

Josie scowls at the thought, “Then I’ll watch The Notebook another hundred times.”

(She might also dabble in some fire spells)

“Right.” Lizzie sighs, sitting down at the edge of Josie’s bed, “Well, in that case you better be ready to hit that replay again.”

Josie’s stomach drops immediately, eyes narrowing at Lizzie, “What?”

“I might have caught Satan heading up to the roof with that vampire girl.”

Josie sits up so fast, Lizzie has to grab her laptop to stop it from flying across the room, “ _What?_ ”

“Calm down, Jo.”

Josie doesn’t hear her, “Lizzie, if this is a joke…”

“Why would I joke about that?” Lizzie scoffs, “I was walking down the hall and I saw Penelope and her going to the stairwell together.”

“You saw her with Cassie.”

“Yes.”

And like that, all sadness is forgotten. Instead, Josie sees red.

She’s storming out of the room before Lizzie can stop her, and Josie spends the trip up to the roof debating what will be the most satisfying way to murder Penelope and Cassie. She slams through the door to the roof and her eyes immediately find Penelope standing there, staring at her with wide-eyes.

“You’re unbelievable.” Josie seethes, approaching Penelope fast.

Penelope stumbles backwards apprehensively as Josie advances on her, “What the fuck?” she blurts when Josie shoves her backwards forcefully.

“After everything, you’re really doing this to me?” Josie goes to push her again, but Penelope catches her wrists.

Penelope looks utterly confused, and her mouth drops open when she notices how Josie’s hands glow red. Her grip tightens, “ _Okay_ – Josie, calm down.”

Josie ignores her, looking around for any signs of Cassie. She curses herself for not being quieter in her approach as she realizes the girl’s vampire hearing probably tipped her off long before Josie even made it to the roof.

“Where is she?” Josie rips her hands from Penelope’s grip, walking past her towards the edge of the roof. She looks down at campus, attempting to spot any signs of a fleeing vampire in the growing darkness.

“Where’s who?”

“You know who.” Josie mutters, turning back to Penelope to glare at her, “Seriously, what’s wrong with you? It hasn’t even been a day and you’re already throwing yourself at Cassie?”

“Wait– _what_?” Penelope gawks at her, and then her entire posture changes, leaving Josie confused as Penelope rolls her eyes, “Oh my _God_ , is that seriously what Lizzie told you to get you up here?”

“What Lizzie…” Josie frowns, “She said she saw you come up here with her.”

“Do you see a blonde vampire anywhere?”

“Why would Lizzie lie to me?”

Penelope rolls her eyes again, and Josie would find her smile endearing if she weren’t one blonde vampire away from sending Penelope flying off the roof. “What _do_ you see up here, Josie?”

Josie frowns, and for the first time actually notices the candles scattered about the roof and the picnic set up over to Penelope’s side. Those knots in her stomach grow tighter, “What’s going on?”

Penelope looks nervous as she approaches Josie, “What do you think?”

Josie feels like she has whiplash as she looks around the roof, attempting to make sense of the situation, “… this is for me?”

“Well it’s not for Cassie.”

The anger ebbs away, making room for the butterflies in Josie’s stomach as she forgets herself and obliges the hope that maybe, Josie’s finally getting what she’s been chasing. Although the cynic in her soon doubts that.

“Penelope…” Josie starts reluctantly, letting out a sigh, “You can’t just ignore last night.”

“That’s not what this is.” Penelope says, and it’s firm enough that Josie believes it.

“Then what is it?”

Penelope goes to close the distance between them, but seems to think better of it for now, remaining an awkward few feet away. “I shouldn’t have let you leave.” She says, “The way I’ve been acting… it’s been unfair to you. And I’ve known that. And I swear, Josie, I didn’t want to hurt you I just… I guess I’ve been scared.”

The frustration returns, then, “Of _what_ , Pen? All I’ve done is show you that I want to be with you.” 

Penelope doesn’t deny it, but she takes her time answering, “You’re the first person I’ve ever really loved, Josie. I’m not… I don’t have family like yours. I’m not close to my coven; I don’t have aunts and uncles that love me and a sister who would die for me. I’ve only ever really had to think and care about myself. And honestly? I used to like it that way.” Penelope shrugs weakly, “Then I met you and… that changed. And while loving you has given me so much that I never knew I was even missing… when I thought I’d lost you? That hurt more than anything else I’ve ever felt.”

She looks uncomfortable as she speaks, arms crossing in front of her chest, “So it scares me. Because feeling like that… it’s unpredictable, and it’s terrifying. I’m scared of how much I feel for you, Josie. Of how much I’d do for you, and of what all of that could do to me.”

“And that’s okay, Pen. You think I’m not scared, too?” Josie says, “It’s just for me… you’re worth it.”

A soft smile pulls at Penelope’s lips, and she lets out a throaty laugh, “That’s supposed to be my line.”

Josie’s stomach tightens and– _God_ , she loves this girl. She’s not sure she ever stopped; not sure she ever will. Her own lips tug up into a smile, “Sorry. You were just taking your time getting there.”

Penelope’s eyes give her away as she looks at Josie, her gaze filled with complete adoration, “I’m sorry, do you want the short version?”

“I want whatever version you’re willing to give me.”

Penelope finally moves forward then, closing the distance between them and coming to a stop just in front of Josie. Her amusement sobers as she takes Josie’s hands in her own, “Last night was a mistake. I should have run after you. I shouldn’t have taken us to the point where you ran away at all. And I’m so, _so_ sorry for making you doubt me.” she says, “But, if you’ll let me, I’d like a do-over.”

“A do-over?”

“We didn’t get to start the year the way I would have wanted, so I figured we could do it again. Right this time.”

Josie smiles, “And how would you have wanted it to go?”

Josie’s heart aches in her chest at the pure relief on Penelope’s face at her answer, “ _Well_ , I would have spent the party unable to do anything but think about getting you alone.”

“And you succeeded in that, to be fair.”

Penelope grins, and continues, “After the party, I would have taken you up here.” She leads Josie over to the blanket spread out, and Josie follows her lead in moving to sit down on it.

“After stopping at your bedroom first, obviously.” Josie jokes lightly, and she gets what she wants in the sly smirk that spreads across Penelope’s face.

“Obviously.” Penelope obliges.

Josie shifts closer to Penelope on the blanket, knees touching the other girl’s as their hands remain linked together in Penelope’s lap, “And then what?”

Penelope’s eyes fall to Josie’s lips, “And then I would have waited for midnight, and when the fireworks went off… I would have kissed you.”

“I did tell you you’d get to do that.” Josie’s voice is barely above a murmur as her own gaze finds Penelope’s lips, and she wonders how it feels like it’s been months since she last kissed her.

Penelope smiles, “Midnight’s still a few hours away.” She says, although Josie swears she’s leaned in slightly.

Josie nods, licks her lips and catches Penelope follow the action. She shrugs, “There are other time zones.”

The argument must hold up in Penelope’s mind, because she lets out a soft laugh before moving closer, and her lips find Josie’s in a soft kiss. And while it’s delicate, and tender, Josie feels it through her entire body.

Penelope’s hands cup Josie’s face and Josie forgets herself in the gentleness of it all, in the way Penelope’s thumbs brush against her cheeks and the soft breaths that hit her lips before Penelope kisses her again. She lets herself be pulled in, climbing Penelope’s lap without registering anything but the need to be as close to Penelope as possible. And she wonders how she ever thought she’d say goodbye to this feeling.

When they do separate, Josie refuses to move away, instead resting her forehead against Penelope’s and meeting those piercing eyes that she’s long memorised every tiny detail of. Penelope looks at Josie like she holds her entire world in her hands.

It takes a few moments before Penelope speaks again, and Josie recognises the nerves in her soft features as she lets out an uneven breath.

“And after that… I would have told you that I’m in love with you, Josie Saltzman.” Her voice is so steady when she says it, and Josie’s thinks her heart stops for a moment, breath catching in her throat. “And loving you is worth everything.”  

It’s not a surprise hearing the words. Not like the first time hearing them from Penelope on this roof.

But it’s better.

Because it feels like finally coming home.

Josie kisses Penelope again, and while she doesn’t need to say it – she knows Penelope can feel it as undeniably as her – Josie does so anyway, with Penelope’s lips smiling against her own.

“I love you too, Penelope Park.”

Because she’ll be damned if she ever denies such a thing again.

* * *

_Loving Josie Saltzman is the easiest thing Penelope Park has ever done._

_If you ask her when it happened, she won’t have just one answer._

_She’ll tell you it happened when she first laid eyes on her, and it also happened this morning. She’ll tell you it happens when they fight and when they laugh; when they’re together and when they’re apart._

_She will tell you that even before she knew Josie, her heart was waiting for her to arrive._

_And she’ll tell you that while loving someone as much as she loves Josie Saltzman comes at a price._

_It’s one she’s more than willing to pay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we’re done! Thank you guys for sticking with this until the end. There won’t be an epilogue to this story, but I do have a future fic in the works which will be using UTM as the backstory for them, so it kind of functions as a sequel (although it’s going to be a very different vibe to this fic).
> 
> Anyway, I’m going to try to respond to any comments left on this chapter but if I miss you somehow please know I’ve appreciated you guys being so patient and fun to write for. Hopefully I won’t be MIA between fics for long. Until then, if you want to keep updated on fics in the works, you can find me on twitter as @saltzpen 
> 
> Until next time :)


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